WATCH: Doug Stanhope On Royalty "You have fucking Royalty? Do you have Wizards too? Fire breathing dragons? They're a superior bloodline to you? You bootlicking fucking supplicants!

You carry these fucking leeches around like golden ticks in your beard you roll out red carpets and bow down before them, and your excuse is, 'but they don't really do anything'. What? It's kinda more... fucking DUMB! Miss America is a figurehead. But we don't have to buy her a hundred castles on the taxpayer's dime..."