As a Known Wise-Man, people often come to me with questions of great import. "How will I know when it's The Future?" asked one young lad of me recently. I didn't even have to think before I answered, quick as that proverbial flash, "you will know that it is the future when you can buy your very own robot sex slave that comes with a built in soft drinks dispenser."
What the boy did with that information I do not know or care to, but this evening I discovered (cheers Deathboy!) that we are closer to The Future than even I dared to dream... you can now purchase your very own robot sex slave. No drinks dispenser. But still. ROBOT SEX SLAVE.
True story. The creators' website, truecompanion.com, puts it this way.
We have been designing “Roxxxy TrueCompanion”, your TrueCompanion.com sex robot, for many years, making sure that she: knows your name, your likes and dislikes, can carry on a discussion and expresses her love to you and be your loving friend. She can talk to you, listen to you and feel your touch. She can even have an orgasm!
Wow. The sex robot exists, and it can achieve orgasm. Truly, these are days of miracle and wonder. But how did this come to pass?
In 1993, Douglas Hines designed “Trudy”, our first sex robot. Trudy was not as “user friendly” as our current model. The sex doll industry was effective at creating very expensive and somewhat realistic dolls - but many people were telling us it was like their dolls were “catatonic”, like they were injured and unable to speak and interact. They wanted to have their dolls become interactive and be their friends. We solved this problem and now our customers can have sex robots that in one person’s opinion “are now brought to life”!
In what is billed as a world first, a life-size robotic girlfriend complete with artificial intelligence and flesh-like synthetic skin was introduced to adoring fans at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas.
"She can't vacuum, she can't cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean," TrueCompanion's Douglas Hines said while introducing AFP to Roxxxy. "She's a companion. She has a personality. She hears you. She listens to you. She speaks. She feels your touch. She goes to sleep. We are trying to replicate a personality of a person."
Roxxxy stands five feet, seven inches tall, weighs 120 pounds, "has a full C cup and is ready for action," according to Hines, who was an artificial intelligence engineer at Bell Labs before starting TrueCompanion.
The anatomically-correct robot has an articulated skeleton that can move like a person but can't walk or independently move its limbs.
Robotic movement is built into "the three inputs" and a mechanical heart that powers a liquid cooling system.
Roxxxy comes with five personalities. Wild Wendy is outgoing and adventurous, while Frigid Farrah is reserved and shy.
There is a young naive personality along with a Mature Martha that Hines described as having a "matriarchal kind of caring." S & M Susan is geared for more adventurous types.
Aspiring partners can customize Roxxxy features, including race, hair color and breast size. A male sex robot named "Rocky" is in development.
People ordering the robots online at truecompanion.com detail their tastes and interests much like online dating sites but here, the information is used to get the mechanical girlfriend in synch with her mate.
"She knows exactly what you like," Hines said of Roxxxy, noting that Rocky will also come with personalities.
"If you like Porsches, she likes Porsches. If you like soccer, she likes soccer."
Roxxxy will chat with her flesh-and-blood mate, and touching her elicits comments varying according to personalities.
She is wirelessly linked to the Internet for software updates, technical support and to send her man email messages.
People can customize "true companion" personalities and then share the programs with others online on the company's website, according to Hines.
"Just think about wife or girlfriend swapping without actually giving the person to someone else," Hines said. "You can share the personality online."
But where does 911 come into it?
"I had a friend who passed away in 9/11," Hines said. "I promised myself I would create a program to store his personality, and that became the foundation for Roxxxy True Companion."
Hines sees his creation as not only a recreational innovation but as an outlet for the shy, people with sexual dysfunction, and those who want to experiment without risk.
Roxxxy versions are priced from 7,000 to 9,000 dollars, depending on features. The sex robot is available in Europe and the United States and will eventually be available globally, according to Hines.
Well, what are you waiting for? Get yours from truecompanion.com, now! And if you can't afford $9000, the robot sex slave company "is looking for motivated individuals that enjoy a challenging and rewarding environment", so maybe you could get a job and nick one!
Saying that, in my professional opinion it is a strong possibility that the job thing is actually a dastardly ploy to lure people into their Evil Factory, and they're making the robots out of desperate casualties of the recession. Fuck!
Image from Final Crisis