Chester Zoo Evacuated, Chimpanzees On Rampage!

pg2_a_chimp_300Ook! Look out Gogs! Chester Zoo has been dramatically  EVACUATED today (Sunday July 5th) after its thirty (30) chimpanzees ESCAPED their enclosure, going on a  RAMPAGE around the keepers' area, where their din dins is usually prepared. "My two young boys had only just gone into the chimpanzee house when we heard terrifying loud noises," said zoo visitor Sarah Jones, from Chester. "The chimpanzees were large animals and they seemed very upset about something, they were making a frightening noise, I thought something was wrong, so we made our way out of the building. I saw keepers running into the house and visitors were asked to head to other areas of the zoo. We ended up being stuck in the cafe area for quite a while."

DAMN! Cafe area! You know how gully those cafe areas can be. You can fuck around and get sold a fake sausage, or a pencil with a Rhino on the end and shit.

Sadly, the animals have since been rounded up and out back in captivity.

"The decision to evacuate the zoo was purely taken as a precautionary measure," said the zoo said in a statement. "We apologise for any inconvenience this has caused to our visitors and would thank them for their full co-operation and patience."