BEEF: Rob Liefeld VS Alan Moore

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Zen Pyramid dropped this in the comments of that Rob Liefeld Getting Inerviewed By Stan Lee post, but it's so awesome it had to have its own post.

See, a couple of years ago, every body's favourite fucked up body fetishist Rob "Bro!" Liefeld (described once as "a pair of blue jeans with a backwards baseball cap on top of it but when you turn the cap around its still backwards") took it upon himself to go at Alan Moore, a bit like when Nelly went at KRS 1 or something.  From the pages of OC Weekly, here are some of the most choice quotes from Rob's dandy assault.

“If you’ve done business with Alan, you have a different opinion of Alan. He markets himself as a poet, but he’s just a ruthless businessman, like everybody else, he kept wanting to more work because he just wanted to get paid. Jeph Loeb [Yeah, Jeph Loeb definitely writes fuck awful crap like Ultimates 3 out of love for the form - ATD], he can tell you.”

“You worship at the altar of Alan, and then you go, oh, he’s just another guy that’s looking to get paid, and that’s why he’d do 3-4 books a month for us. Literally, he’d send three scripts through the copy machine. [A man that wants to get paid for doing what he lovea and isgreat at? NO! Burn the evil fuck! - ATD]”

“He’s brilliant, but to me I think he’s been revealed as someone who’s spiraled wildly out of control. Like, he had a falling out with Wildstorm, you know, he’s having another falling out with DC, he won’t work for Marvel. At some point you put yourself on line and go, well, gee, Alan, is it everyone else, or is it you? [No, the comics industry is a corrupt and full of twats as any other - ATD]”

“Alan just wants to get paid more money, that’s it. Sorry Alan. I got my body of work out of Alan Moore, he doesn’t intimidate me, I don’t put him on a pedestal like Jack Kirby and Frank Miller. He’s just a guy who wants to get paid, and he cuts deals for himself that he doesn’t like down the line, and then he gets whiny and cries about it... Hey man, he worked for me for two years, I was quiet for like ten years. And then I watched him burn every other bridge, and I go “Hmm.” Although we didn’t have a falling out with him. He just stopped working with us, because he now wanted to invest in his new universe with Wildstorm comics [Ur, no, YOU ran your company into the GROUND because you are a famously shitty businessman, so you couldn't pay anyone, you great big spoon - ATD], and again, like I said, OOPS! That went up in flames. He gives 'temperamental artist' a new meaning.”

“And he comes out and he lets everybody know now 'I’m going to crap all over the adaptations you do,' he’s shown no loyalty to his fellow artists like Dave Gibbons or David Lloyd [Yeah, signing over all your royalties to those artists definitely counts as "crapping on them" - ATD]. He knows that by coming out and crapping on the movie, he’s gonna keep a certain percentage of the fan base away [WHat, you want him to LIE< and tell them to watch a piece of shit that has nothing to do with the source material? That's how you'd treat your crazy fans if someone was ever fucked up in the face enough to bring one of your shitbags to the screen? I thought you were a nice guy, Rob!- ATD].”

“He once called us up to tell us that he had just been in the dream realm and talking to Socrates and Shakespeare, and to Moses, dead serious, and that they talked for what seemed to be months, but when he woke up, only an evening had passed, and he came up with these great ideas. And I’m tellin’ ya, I think it’s shtick, dude. I think it’s all shtick. I’m gonna start saying that stuff. Cuz you know what? It makes you instantly interesting. Like 'O yeah, last night I was hanging out with Socrates. Came to me in a dream. We played poker. We dropped acid.' That’s the kinda stuff Alan would say all the time, and he’d say 'Oh, I’ve been practicing dark magic.'”

YOU FUCKING WHAT?!?!?! This, as someone notes in the comments section, from a man who that a magical creator impregnated a virgin with his son so he could be murdered by humans who would then be forgiven so they could live forever but only if they worship him? ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRO LIEFELD? You ARE? Fuck!

The really sad bit comes at the end, when we discover that Liefeld owns what sounds like an amazing Moore script, but he doesn't know anyone good enough to draw it.

Liefeld goes on to describe a comic book pitched to him by Moore that he still owns the rights to, entitled War Child. Written shortly after Moore saw Pulp Fiction for the first time, it's a knights-of-the-round-table concept set in a Tarantino-esque inner city gangland setting.

“I have him on tape for 4 hours just talking about it; it’s my most cherished possession”

“You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Alan describe the heroes – this is in the near future – getting trapped in an amusement park in Compton, where one of the rides you go on is a drive-by shooting.”

“A couple of the artists I gave it to handed it back. The first ten pages is some of the most difficult, visually, it’s hard to crack. We’ll probably publish it in script form. I can’t crack this, life’s too short.”

“There’s standing atop a building, looking in through the window at a certain angle, while the person is sitting doing their hair looking at themselves in the mirror...and the panel descriptions, you go, how do I shoot this? I could shoot it with a camera, but like all the storyboards? It’s just very difficult.”

“He’s a genius, a showman, a shrewd businessman, and a whiner. I have no intention of working with him again.”

Awesome.