Shout out everyone enjoying Lemmings. Shout out everyone that's been posting it, like the good people at The Guardian, The Quietus and Bleeding Cool. The response has been beautiful, so thank you. Messages are pouring in, as are new listeners, like this one:
The song's also been heard by the genius who I sampled, Dr Tim Wright, AKA CoLDSToRAGE:
Here's a video of Dr Wright performing live. I nearly lost my jaw when I heard the first track, as it sounds exactly like something on my next record:
Meanwhile on Twitter, UK beat superstars have been involved in a minor #TACHECLASH, after Boy Better Know's Shorty tweeted something about having "the best moustache in the scene". Noted moustache-bearer High Rankin was amused, posting the following:
To which I posted this:
So I win the #TACHECLASH, basically. Amen.
Right, back to work, I've got an #UNKILLABLETHUNDERCHRIST to finish. The art is coming along beautifully. You can peep a preview of it on the preorder page. I'm colouring it this afternoon and doing the background, but you, my nearest and dearest, can check the work in progress here.
See that up there on top of my stockshelf? That's my SPIDERPLANT. It was born from a tiny spiderbaby my pops gave me. Now it's all grown, with many babies of its own. And I am GIVING FIVE AWAY!
Yes, you can have your very own Don Spiderbaby. And all you have to do is give some money to Somalia here, then send me some kind of proof, via email - akirathedon at gmail dot com, or my Twitter. 2 have gone already so be quick!
In other news, my new wife discovered The Pulling Power Of Comics yesterday, whilst reading Time And The Batman (one of our beautiful wedding gifts, shout out John Doran and Maria!) on the tube. "If only I'd known when I was single!" she squealed. "Practically the whole male population of the carriage was staring at me! And then they all started talking about comics and smiling at me! It's like a man with a baby!"
Knowledge gleaned ladies. if you want to pull males on the tube, read a comic. EASY.
EDIT: Here's me packaging up the first spiderbaby. GET IN!
So, when we were out on tour, we were doing this ace swag bag, which contained 4 CDs and a poster and some badges for the amazing super deal price of £25. it was David Da VINYL's idea, he is a clever man with much to give to the world. Anyway, since then, people have been asking me to do one on line, for THE WORLD (and the CHILDREN), and now, finally, I have found some time to do just that. YES! LADIES AND Gs! IT IS MY VERY JOYOUS HONOUR TO PRESENT TO YOU,
CDs: The Life Equation, Living In The Future, The Omega Sanction, Thieving, Stunners 130
T Shirt: Grey vintage ATD logo tour shirt
3 random ATD badges, and 2 posters: The Life Equation & Dawn of The Don.
Add a note to your order or email akirathedon at gmail.com with your order number to specify any messages or names you want signed.
Maybe you have none of this, in whihc case you are IN LUCK! Or maybe you have some of it already, in whihc case YOU ARE IN LUCK TOO, and you will have SPARES or things to GIVE TO YOUR PALS! either way, EVERYONE'S A WINNER!
Meanwhile, I am officially OFF HONEYMOON and ON THE HORSE. Right now the horse involves TEACHING MYSELF FINAL CUT PRO X and editing THE EPIC AS FUCK DONNISH INQUISITION NUMBER 2! I answered ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS! ALL OF THEM! OH MY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS!
I'm blogging from a Starbucks right now. That was me doing admin in bed at 9am in the Oxford Travelodge. "Living in the future," I thought, as I resised Damien's pictures in Photoshop.
Yesterday was a great day. I got presents! Adam brought me some brownies for my birthday (which is on Monday). He made them himself! It didn't even occur to me until I got back to the Travelodge and Jack pointed it out that there might be something other than chocolate in the brownies, but I don't think there was. The were bloody nice.
Damien and David killed it on the merch. They were incredible forces of stuff-selling nature. This guy got his amazing T-shirt made more amazing with a Blob Blob season 2 badge.
Half of this crew of Gs is coming tomorrow too. We didn't get to play all the songs they wanted to hear, so we're gonna do that tonight, because it is the RIGHTEOUS PATH.
Damien's dog hat is pretty much a cosmic weapon. I think wer're looking at the effects of its lazer beam devastation, beatifically.
Jack seems to be having a wonderful time. LOOK AT THAT WINNING SMILE! He isn't wearing it now, but that's because some kid gave him the spliff of #PAIN after the show and now his eyes have melted.
The gig was on some hardcore. I achieved flight about half way through.
I also grew an amazing CLAW HAND when MC Lars came onstage to do Living In The Future with us.
Yes, we were mighty. MIGHTY!
So mighty, in fact, that we swapped T shirts at the end, like footballers.
Then we played records and freestyled round the corner at the afterparty until 3 am like Gs. I played loads of Nate Dogg, INCLUDING AINT NO FUN which bought all the ladies to the dance floor. Lars spat over Weerd Science instrumentals and I joined him to swap off-the-dome painage like Pig Pun and Fat Joe in the nineties.
I didn't get any sleep, but it wasn't because I was doing anything fun or glamorous. I'll tell you about it at some point soon, but perhaps a comic strip might be the most appropriate avenue for it.
That's right ladies and Gs! Yesterday, to celebrate the release of I Am Not A Robot, we held the inaugrual #ROBOTMONDAY#1MINUTEROBOTDRAWING competition on akirathedon.com. We challenged YOU, the people, to draw a robot using MS Paint or Mac equivalent in less than a minute. We were swamped with a whopping 60-odd entries (some of these were disqulaified as they weren't submitted correctly), with a resulting 54 legal entries.
Zef and I then spent 56 minutes on Skype deliberating the merits of each robot. For full transparency, you can listen to that conversation right here, right now. You can persue a Flickr gallery of the entrants while you do so.
Yes, it was a hard decision, but we had to make it. At the end of the day there could be only one ultimate champion. And that champion, decided in the deeply professional and angst ridden 56-minute judging session streaming above, was the piece of wonder you are about to see...
Yes! The winner of the ATD1 T-shirt and the respect of his peers is...
And why does this robot win? For me, it came down to an effortless simplicity that cut through the crowd. The thing is emotive, funny, and would look awesome on a T shirt.
Zef says, "Angstron is criminally insane. He towered over all the other robots and was a clear winner. He is majestic and proud. Angstron has the face only a robot-mother could love. I want a t-shirt with angstron on it, and a poster and a mug."
Congratulations Koltreg! Not only do you win the amazing ATD1 T-Shirt and the respect of your peers, but you also get your drawing animated by Zef. As you can see.
Now, the other entries were too damn good to ignore. We painstakingly chose another 5 runners up, all of whom win a BLOB BADGE (email your address to akirathedonat gmail dot com to claim your prize). The runners up, in no particular order are:
FUNKBOT by Tyler Tackson
AK: This robot is just so cool, it cannot be ignored. The composition of the image is brilliant, as is the suggestion of a greater story; he's blatantly getting, um, serviced off camera.
ZEF: Yeah, composition is key here, looks like a single frame from a very saucey robot flick. Intelligent understanding of colour usage too: Purple for wealth, seduction and regality. This robot is king.
ROBIT by Kays Tea
AK: I love this image. It is mighty. I love Robit's shiny round head, and banana fingers. I picture him towering over a city like a shiny metal Godzilla.
Zef: A perfect example of why MS Paint is the number one industry standard design software. The penmanship and clear understanding of robot anatomy is breathtaking. I want to see this robot realised by Antony Gormley in Trafalgar Square.
HAPPY GOLDFISH ROBOT by Jonathan Gjertsen
AK: This looks nothing like the typical idea of a robot, and everything like a slightly smug, nostalgic mechanoid amphibian remembering a tasty meal it once had.
Zef: Yeah this robot is WAY smug, I actually want to punch him. To capture so much emotion is nothing other than techno wizardry. This is the most I have been torn between adoration and hate since I watched Jack Black in the Holiday.
BEEP by Blackmarket K
AK: I love this robot because it appears to be very excited about its robosapiency, and would look really awesome on a tight fitting mustard coloured T-shirt.
Zef: Beep is half of a wheel of cheese. Beep joined the robo-police force at an early age. Beep has Rich Boys 'dat ass' face. Beep is lovely. Beep.
NICE TEA by Tom Eastland
AK: Tom has stood clear of the crowd by refusing to fall in with the typical humanoid robot design. This robot needs no arms! His sole function is to keep your tea nice and warm, and look happy to be doing it!
Zef: Constructed on the same angular foundations of a caffetiere, Nice tea is good lookin' robot with a welcome treat in his belly. How does he get up if you push him over? You would push him over... Maybe he opens his door.
And finally! The wooden spoon goes to...
@ALEXANDERVELKY by Alexander Velky
AK: Disappointingly pedestrian. And what's with his lack of feet? How does he stand? Is he floating? In which case why the legs?
Zef: Mr Velky clearly spent a good deal of time adding his twitter name instead of inventing an exciting new robot. His insatiable thirst for more twitter followers has ruined his chances of robot stardom.
So there you have it! That was the winner, and the runner ups. But the rest were so great, I had to take over an hour out of my busy schedule to create a video showcasing them all, by way of thanks to you for making such a heroic effort. I am awed by your talent, and it has bought me much joy. I am now humbled to be able to share that joy with the world. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:
The Complete #ROBOTMONDAY #1MINUTEROBOTDRAWING Entries!*
*actually not complete as stupid Sony Vegas didn't import a few of them for no good reason and I didn't notice till after and its too late to do it all again now but they ARE all in the Flickr gallery below!
Big Iron is out there, doing Big Iron Damage. Shout out RWD, Rock Paper Shotgun and Southern Hospitality, who posted it on their internets spaces and gave it shine. It did 5000 plays over the weekend, we're going for 10,000 today. If you like it, pass the link on to all your friends. Press the like button. Embed the song on your blog or social network space of social networking.
Better yet, film you, or your child(ren) doing THE BIG IRON DANCE, as demonstrated (and invented, if we're honest) by my buddy BJ's excellent and tiny boy child Hanzo. SEE ABOVE! How ill is that? I especially like the way he goes batshit when Narstie starts flowing, cos that's what I do.
So, yes, totally film yourself, your parents, your friends, your kids, your binmen, whoever, doing the Big Iron dance, and upload them to Youtube and post them as a reply to the Big Iron Listening Post, and I will post them here, and edit them all together into one big amazing dance off, like that bit in Ferris Bueller where he does Twist And Shout. How cool will that be?
THAT WILL BE REALLY REALLY COOL!
In other Big Iron News, I'm getting the instrumental mastered today for all you rappers and rap haters. AND! I nearly forgot! As pointed out to my by Scotty 7 in the comments, I totally upped the WAV for Big Iron and NOT THE MP3 Doof! SO I have now upped a brand new, shiny CD quality Big Iron MP3, and you can download it here. Enjoy!
So! This week I will be finalising the Akira The Don release schedule for Q1. Which includes, as mentioned in the Big Iron post, that compilation I asked you to help with, and the legendary, longawaitedisanunderstatement ALBUM OF THE DECADE... The Life Equation!
First release though, is the amazing new mixtape, marking a quarter century of ATD tapes, ATD25, from which Big Iron is the first track. I will be finishing the recording this week. Look out for the second track on Friday.
As ever, I would like your input on this project. So, I am going to pick ONE SAMPLE, as suggested by YOU, and whoever picks the sample, will either get a shoutout on the tape OR (their choice) will get to introiduce the track on the tape. So let's go! Leave your sample suggestions in the comments of this post!
A special bonus prize will go to anyone that suggests something I have already sampled (bear in mind I am 9 tracks deep at this point).
"If I rule the world / happiness would be spread / like jam!"
Killer Nits, 2011
Remember I said I was working with an amazing band fronted by a ten year old boy?
Well, I was not lying to you. I was. That's him up there, at the first gig of his I saw, at a stately home in Cornwall the other Summer.
The band are called
They are Jesse, Paul, and Finbar. Jesse sings and writes all the songs. Paul and Finbar do music and dancing and enigmacy.
Their debut EP is on iTunes now. It is called If I Ruled The World, and it was prodiced by Killer Knits and Akira The Don, and recorded right here at Don Studios IV.
All the songs are awesome, but if I had to pick a favourite it would be the haunting, mysterious The Wild Man. But who cares what I think? You can stream it right here, right now, and make up you own mind. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it!
"He's 57 now. He was born in 1989 but he's still young."
Well, I know there's a bunch of you that have been looking forward to this. It's been out for a few days, but I ain't mentioned it. I was wondering if I'd get called out, and lo I did, via email, from the ever vigilant Glen, who wrote:
one thing you seem to have let slip past us is the Dan Le Sac vs Scroob release!! i was pondering it on Saturday night since i hadn't heard much mention of it recently and thought i'd have a lil search and found that it was on sale from Sunday, needless to say i bought it and love it!
Cheers Glenn! Hell yeah it's dope! So dope I felt I needed to take an afternoon out to draw a sleeve for it. So I have. And that is it. Up top. Neat, non? Well, I dig it. Cos it was done between the Superhero Music and Street Fighter periods of Don Activity, the art reflects that - it references the Marvel VS Capcom games in its layout, anyway.
I said that in a Joey2tits voice. You ever heard dude say "nice"? It's a thing to behold, really it is.
So, without further ado, let's get into that business.
THE WINNER OF THE CAPTION COMPETITION, AS DECIDED BY MINOR CELEBRITY AND SUPERSTAR RECORD PRODUCER DAN LE SAC, OF WORLD FAMOUS POPULAR RAPPER/PRODUCER COMBO DAN LE SAC VS SCROOBIUS PIP IS....
"It wins," explains Dan, "because it's true."
I don't know if my girl's Mum, pictured, would agree with you, but there you go. The judge's decision is final! MELO IS THE WINNER!
Well done Melo! Dan has deemed you KING OF WIN! Email me your address and a prize shall be yours!
We also have some runners up.
Runner Up 1: alexandervelky: "Not pictured: stepladder."
"Because alexandervelky is clearly my dad is disguise or at least the guy who ghostwrites my dad gags," says Dan. This is funny because alexandervelky is, in reality, my brother. His sense of humour is cruel and ancient and stolen, in part, from our Dad.
Runner Up 2 - Raydome : "The all new ATD portable holiday head, buy one now, and make your holiday Dontastic"
"Seriously this could work," says Dan, "dragging rappers heads around on holiday is a dope idea, you can never find any decent hip-hop on ya hols."
Did I mention that all I heard music-wise in Malta was N-Dubz, Tinie Tempah and Jay-Z? That Jay-Z featuring Mr Hudson travesty as well. That shit is eerie, bubba.
ANYWAY! Thank you Dr Le Sac, for judging this month's caption contest. However, since Alex is related to me, he's going to have to be disqualified, or at least sidelined, so I am bringing in another runner up.
Runner Up 3: jonzee: "Akira the Wall creeps up unnoticed on yet another victim"
Because it made me LOL Out Loud, which is pretty much a double LOL, and thus a win. Applause all round then! You're all winners!
And thank you again to our special guest judge, dan le sac. For the duration of this blog post I have been unsure as to whether he capitalises the "le" or not, and a quick Google just now reveals that he tends not to capitalise at all, like dead prez. But I am not going to go back and change all the previous attempts, for the sake of purity.
Rah though, if you thought that was the last you were gonna see of duke round these parts, think again! Cos we did a remix SWAP! Which means you have yet to hear what duke did for me! EXCITE!
OK then! That is enough for one post. This has been epic. I hope you enjoyed it. I will be back at 5pm UK time with THE DONCAST, but in the meanwhile, I'm gonna hand over to our friends Ms Liz A Crunch and JJ Fabulous, who have been ATD Beach Tagging in El Pescador. Big up!
Yes, we are at NUMBER 2 in the Hype Machine Twitter charts, above Robyn and Andre 3000 and Radiohead and hot on the heels of LCD Soundsystem. HOOOO-GRAAAAAAAAH!
BIG UP EVERYBODY who's been involved in this historic feat! And it's not over. Number one is within our grasp. Multiple votes seem to count, perversely enough, so GET IN and LET's GET THAT NUMBER ONE! For as Chilly Gonzales so wisely noted on Presidential Suite:
"It's a popularity contest
You've just got to put it in context."
Anyway. As I mentioned on twitter earlier, I awoke at the crack of dawn today with a terrible burning pain in my belly, and lo I did run to the bathroom heaving painfully, eventually spattering the bathtub with a foul red acid slop, reminiscent of the Martian Weed from Jeff Wayne's War Of The Worlds... the stuff stripped all the enamel off my teeth and has left me feeling pretty shit, to be honest, therefore I am cancelling today's Doncast, as I don't want to deliver anything subpar, and, as noted last week, the royal We are charging the format to something BIGGER and MORE AWESOME.
So sorry if you, like, took the day of work or anything crazy like that.
Anyway, last night's meeting was fruitful, you'll be glad to know. Momentum around this here Don seems to be picking up beautifully, which spells Good News for that long awaited Life Equation... I shall be letting you know very soon how you can get involved in the artwork. It's gonna be a flipping masterpiece.
OH YEAH! I forgot to say - my little brother Zef was trying to fix the whole navigating past the first page issue last night, and somehow broke the comments section, and some other stuff. Hopefully that will be fixed soon, but in the meanwhile you can send messages via Twitter and Facebook.
EDIT: It's fixed! Zef coached his girl Kelly through the process on the telephone. Amazing. Maybe they can do the new website that way. Win!
Boy, I am relieved. That was a harsh, cold winter, so it was. Cost a bloody fortune in gas as well.
But it's over now.
Big up everybody that helped us get through.
Rah then. To celebrate, I have made the song available as a free download, for a limited time. If you do not own this glorious seasonal anthem, click the little downward-pointing arrow in the player above to make it yours! Then go cop The Omega Sanction, the classic mixtape from whence it came...
Serious, I am FLIPPING excited about this. The stuff I've been working on this week is sounding amazing, and the ideas I am forming are filling me with a frenzied glee. I AM HYPED! ARE YOU HYPED?
I shall be announcing ways you can get involved in the creation over the coming days and weeks. All ideas welcome, as ever.
In other news, my Security T Shirt re-up just came in. L, XL and XXL are back in stock. If you're waiting on your T you'll be glad to know I've packaged it up and am taking it down the post office as soon as I press post.
So, you know how I've been moaning for ages about how crap my keyboard and mouse are, and how clicking the left mouse button requires the strength of ten men and using the thing all day every day is crippling me, and how my keyboard is so loud it gives my long suffering but resiliently hot female companion migraines, and how getting it to communicate with you every day requires such force it sends shockwaves through my whole skeleton that reverberate for the following 8 hours at LEAST and give me crazy nightmares? Yeah?
I totally bought myself a new keyboard and mouse!
Know what else?
They are wireless!
BLAMMO! IN YOUR FACE CRAPPY OLD KEYBOARD AND MOUSE! IN THE BIN WITH YOU! YOU ARE REPLACED! AHAHAHAHAHA! FIE!
Rah though. While typing on this new thing is a comparative JOY, I am a little confused as to why something that is WIRELESS is so prohibitively HEAVY - the keyboard is like a slab of GRANITE, and I practically have to DRAG the nouse around my DESK. It is RIDICULOUS, but it is an improvement regardless. So, yes.
Clear cut, in our judges' opinion, was that victory. Congratulations Johnny! Not only was your winning entry REALLY FUNNY, it has also set in a motion a whole goddamn MOVIE in our minds, sort of like James Bond meets Lost Highway, in which the valiant de Burgh has his life stolen from him by an evil clone, who commits a series of increasingly terrible atrocities in his good name. Anyone got the number for Hollywood? IT IS A SMASH I TELL YOU! Obviously, Johnny, you forgo all rights to any ownership of what is now MY awesome idea by accepting your awesome prize.
Here is your awesome prize, which will be winging it's way to you just as soon as you email me your address:
Congratulations then, Johnny. I think you'll find that much greater reward than the BEEELIONS of dollars I am going to make flogging your amazing idea to those idiots in Hollywood. BWA HA HA HA HA!
That was weird.
I don't know what came over me there brothers and sisters. For a moment back there, I believe I must have been POSSESSED by the evil spirit of De Burgh's Dastardly Double! Crap! What have I done? Gentle reader! Save yourself before it is too late! DON'T LOOK INTO HIS EYES!
Yes. Now, let's hammer out this story together, and share in the spoils and the glory. THE GLOOOOOOOOOOORY! So, we have Good de Burgh, who is a lovely man, then his EVIL TWIN SHOWS UP, and, let's say, shoots him with a ray gun and locks him in a cage in a dirty basement wearing nothing but a nappy. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
In honour of Fuck Yeah de Burgh, akirathedon.com is holding a mighty CAPTION CONTEST. The prize, NO you can't have my signed copy of Both Sides! HELL NAW! The winner gets a beautiful copy of Don't Pay The Ferryman on 7" vinyl - signed by ME!
Also, The Respect Of Your Peers. For all that's worth...
Leave your captions in the comments. One caption per post.
That is also 5 hours, 24 minutes and 30 seconds condensed into just under 5 minutes.
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
The music is: The Gay Blades – O Shot (Akira The Don & Joey2tits Carjacker Mix, ft Littles)and Akira The Don ft Pixel, Trencha Narstie & Littles – Got Money (Krucy Darkstar Remix). Both songs are taken from ATD20.
That also means we have A WINNER!
Indeed, as my brain was all melty from drawing all day, I asked you to think of a song to soundtrack the timelapse video. And lo Raydome did say:
I think you should use Got Money (Krucy Darkstar Remix) for the video, quality tune, it’ll work well with the speeded up drawings.
And he was right. It works really well.
WELL DONE MR DOME! YOU WIN DEATH'S HEAD DRAWING! Email me your address!
Now, Karl pointed out in the comments that it was unfair for people to have multiple entries. "I could just copy and paste my whole ATD playlist, and then if any one of those is picked I would win," he said brimming with sambuca fuelled pathos. And he was right. So next time we have a competition, we shall have some cot-damn RULES! yes, it has come to that. This Wild West is getting The Rule of Law thrust upon it. BE AFRAID!
OK. I got a bunch of emails asking if I could make the Death's Head strip into a T Shirt. So, I have.
And, notoriously faithful public servant that I am, I have been asked to display the whole of that Death's Head one page comic strip I drew back in 2001 2003 that I mentioned, and I am going to do just that. HAVE AT YE:
AHAHAHA! They got shotted! BANG BANG BANG!
Ah, memories. I also did a one page comic strip starring Frankie from The Darkness that week. I might have to dig that out one day.
So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed that. Congratulations to all the competition entrants. As I type it is 23:19, and we are aboutto go into ANOTHER WEEK. It is going to be a big week, I think. I have plans. But never mind me... What awesome stuff are YOU gonna do this week?
Hey gang! I am working hard on this week's comic strip, listening to all the Curren$y songs on my hard drive, and camtasing the thing so you can watch it later. In the meantime, why don't you sit back with a nice glass of some kind of liquid, and watch the best film that might win an Oscar this year. Sick quality over here, if you can't be doing with the flash, and you can buy it to keep for ever (and you'll wanna) here. PAX!