I Will Not Be Appearing At "Steal This Gig" On Saturday

Brothers and sisters,

I am sorry to announce that I can no longer appear at the Steal This Gig event scheduled for this coming Saturday. Apologies to anyone that was going and looking forward to seeing me.

I hope everyone that IS still going has a lovely time. Full gig details including new venue and line up should be over here.

In other news, the V Festival footage is coming together. I sent the first draft to the client yesterday, so we should all be able to marvel at the glory of the Peak Experience soon.

Here is some Peak Experience:

Meanwhile, a cornucopia of collaborative ATD projects are underway. I am currently working on music with humans including, but not limited to:

Envy Issue Time Littles Big Narstie Eddie Argos TKO Capone

I am also working on a number of solo projects. Expect new material for you to get down to shortly...

Finally this, retweeted by Grant Morrison last night, should provide a clue as to what I am going to be doing on the weekend of September 28th...



Akira The Don x Time - Full Metal Alchemist (i Walter White) PSYCHEDIGITAL MUSIC VIDEO)

http://youtu.be/WcU7a2_hhhA "I Alchemy... I Alchemi... I cook, I chef, I Walter White"

YES! Celebrating the birth of the final season of Breaking Bad today, after months of trans-atlantic digital graft I am proud to present to you, the FULL METAL ALCHEMIST VIDEO!

The video is a psychedigital trippy pop art masterpice, packed with DRUGS and GUNS and FOOD and WEIRD RED STUFF shot on location in Nu Olypia, London and Denver, Colorado... the UK bits were shot by Tom Coles (Scroobius Pip, Beardyman, B Dolan) and the US bits by Trenton Cotten (just done the new Young Jeezy flick). Directed and edited by ME, word famous polymath AKIRA THE DON.

Full Metal Alchemist was performed by @akirathedon and @timeraps Produced by Akira The Don From ATD26: Manga Music out now on CD, digital, and NEW limited edition 10" print.

FULL METAL ALCHEMIST The Alchemical Psychedigital Music Video

Shot on location in Nu Olympa, UK, and Denver, Collorado. Directed and edited by Akira The Don ATD shot by Mighty Tom Coles Time shot and edited by @TrentonCotten Additional filming by Christina Ryder Guest stars @littles_life@AwareNess0

Time says: "Shout out to my cat Elliott, Dan Banta, and AwareNess for pushing that red."

ATD says: "Shout out Time, trenton and crew for making transatlantic magic and my Alchemical London peoples Tom and Litts for bringing the Bokonon vision to Nu Olympia."

I would also like to shout out my peoples at Southern Hopitalty whose immediate support of this tune put the thought of the video in my head.

I hope you enjoy it! It is PACKED WITH MEANINGS! Collect them all!

How To Wax A Moustache!


New thing in the Little Shop of Awesome alert!

It's a beautiful limited edition high quality massive 10" x 10" PRINT of the Manga Music sleeve, rendered by my fair hand in Photoshop with a Wacom DT-520. The thing comes with a matte finish for the non-refelecting, and a nice white border for the framing. Each print comes signed and numbered.

Get yours now! And there's only a few Thunderchrist and Broke prints left also! So get in!

Yeah. You can get a look at the thing on video in my new VLOG, which is coming up in 5, 4, 3, 2...


Pow! Yes. I am being pretty good at this regular Vlogging thing. Today's includes an instructional guide to WAXING ONE'S MOUSTACHE... which I hope you find useful. I also ask a question at the end, which is an important one: is it disrespectful to swang up at a wedding rocking the Candy Coated Drop Kicks?

I am starting to think it might be disrespectful not to... I would have been honoured to see these at my wedding. They are the finest shoes in the known galaxy.

Anyway. I dunno if you noticed, but my last Vlog - that one where I was getting ranty about Prometheus Space Jesus theorising in my pink towel dressing gown - racked up a crazy 11,000 views in a week, thanks in no small part to the efforts of some newly acquired haters. This was, hilariously, my most divisive video ever, and it racked up 11,000 views in a week. That equates to a whopping $14.30 in ad revenue, which just about covers my new glasses, bought to replace the ones the ocean took for me out in LA the other week.

Speaking of Prometheus, the film's linguist has revealed what David The Face Bending Android said to that big Voldemort looking space jockey at the end. It was not, as I thought, "rip my head off and beat that Biff Tanner looking ass old weirdo to death with it then go make sweet love to a giant squid," but something far more pedestrian and lame: "This man is here because he does not want to die. He believes you can give him more life."

Well, more life can lead us into the news that I'm reissuing my entire (legal) back catalogue, so you'll be able to cop all my old shit on iTunes and Spotify and all those other legal channels of modern muzak consumption. I'm getting some of it remastered - some of it never got properly mastred in the first place -  but I'm not re-recording or mixing anything, much as it pains me to listen to my youthful naivety and mistakes, as that would ruin the purity of those recordings. I have had to adjust some of the art, mind you. My first EP, for example, was initially a CD, and thus has recatngular, not square, art.

I can also confirm that the long awaited Full Metal Alchemist video, co-starring my Denver brother Time, will drop on the same day as the new season of Breaking Bad: July 15th.


Meanwhile, our most recent collaboration, Thunderchrist jump-off Too Sweet To Be Sour is the subject of young Corey McNulty's college project. Forsooth:


Shout out everyone using my music in their Youtube videos! It is the ultimate sign of respect in the modern age! That and uploading one's records to Youtube.

Speaking of which, expect a lot more activity in that area coming up very soon.

OK, over and out, I have beats to lace, and a wedding to go to. In case you hadn't noticed from all the big ass squares, the nice ass camera in my shiny new HTC One X has had me going ham on Instagram lately (username akirathedon, obvs)... even if I am still cut off for running up an £800 phone bill in Yankland (which I am contesting bitterly!). I am merking that shit on wi-fi. All of them end up on my secret Tumblr, so check that shit if you need more DON in your life.


PS - the homie Eddie Argos is moving house and has found a bunch of ill stuff he's selling on his blog, check it out. PPS -  That Judge Dredd trailer looks ass, but it did remind me that one of the many ill things about the OG Robocop movie was they dubbed his mighty footsteps with an 808 kick drum. You might wanna consider that, movie people. Just a thought. Just planting seeds.



Based Boss And The Alchemical Meaning Behind We Won't Be Broke Forever Baby

That's me being amazed by the glory of the UNKILLABLE THUNDERCHRIST print, a thing of gargantuan beauty that measures a whopping 10" square, comes with a lovely matte finish that stops light reflecting off it meaning you can enjoy it from all angles even in extreme lighting conditions, and can be ordered from my shop right now for the incredibly low price of ten (10) english pounds, which is $15 (fifteen) in Americana. AMAZING! This will go in the post tomorrow, along with the UNKILLABLE THUNDERCHRIST CDs, which I had hoped would go out while I was in the USA, but did not, for reasons far too boring to go into here. Suffice to say it will be worth the wait and I got the candies - as my dear Yankee chums call them - in.

YES! Hold tight for the big photo stuffed blog depicting the final third of my US adventures, along with the artistic spoils of said excursion, like those songs and that video I shot with Issue. Here's a nice picture of us at the video shoot. Note the fitting sign above our lovely heeds.

Yeah, we were swagging hard. And speaking of the Bay, I just got an email from someone at Billboard, who thinks I run Lil B's record label.

How weird is that? It reaises an intesrting and pretty amazing point though: Lil B described this record as a classical album, despite it being performed entirely on synths and sounding more like New Age relaxation music, and for that reason alone, it's appearing the Billboard classical music charts this week. Absolutely amazing reality creation from the Basedgod there. I raise all of my hats, including this one, which is probably the illest hat in the Uk since I bought it back.

Yes, yes, yes and YES. That hat is almost as good as Andy Falkous from Future of The Left's open letter to the guy at Pitchfork who gave his album a bad, and factually inaccurate review.

...On 'robocop 4 - fuck off robocop' we will simply have to agree to disagree. However, if it is truly amongst the worst songs of the year then I am a giant bat and Pitchfork a cave into which I will shit golden effigies of your face.

Seriously, go read it right now, it is amazing, and probably the best music writing I've read since something Swells did in 96. Incidentally, I once described Andy Falkous in print as looking exactly like Steven Wells in my 5 star review of the first Mclusky album, which is probably why I got a thank you on their second album. See, my music journalism career wasn't all Wu-Wear and Acid.


"As for the cover, well, there’s a penguin on it you stupid cunt."

Hey! Speaking of clever politically aware musicians, here's a lovely photo of my homie Time, with whom I made the modern classics Full Metal Alchemist and Too Sweet To Be Sour, all suited and booted and smiling next to the good Dr Noam Chomsky, who liked one of his articles (he writes articles on politrickery and whatnot as well as the dystopia-rapping) so much he invited him to come and speak with him the other week.

To that, I will raise a bowl of strawberries and a bottle of water. CHEERS!


Oh, finally, I got the following letter from a new listener:

I replied by informing William that the song was pretty self explanatory, then suggesting he read the lyrics on my website, as sometimes people can't understand what I'm saying cos I say it so fast. It later dawned on me, hoever, that as a new listener, William might not have the level of context that say, I do, and people who've been with me since Living In The Future or even earlier have. See, William, I was, as the song says, always broke, from birth in fact. As recently as this song I was scrabbling down the back of the sofa for pennies when the electric went. Brokeness, once one is past the crawling stage anyway, is as much a mental trap as anything, and I wrote the song as a kind of magical sigil, designed to work continuously on a subconscious level, in order  that its joyous existence in the world would help bring material wealth in my direction, so that I might live a free, and less stressful life, and keep my woman in a manner more desserving of a creature so beautiful as she.

Thusfar it's been working pretty well. I am about three times as well off monetarily as I was when I wrote it. True story! The solid gold house is not yet in my possession, and "some dope film" has yet to use the song, but I believe it to be close. I had an email from my publisher just the other day saying he'd had a number of LA based music supervisors in touch extolling my virtues. Just look at LiL B and his classical album. We are the architects of our destiny. And my destiny has a libary full of so many comics I'll need a lader just to get to the S section in it.



NEW MUSIC: Akira The Don ft. Time - Too Sweet To Be Sour


New music for you, brothers and sisters! Produced by me, Akira The Don, mastered by Gaz Williams, and featuring the exquisite rhymes of Denver's very own Time.

I'll let this speak for itself, for now. From Unkillable Thunderchrist. Out tomorrow on Digital, CD and ltd edition print. Order here.



Akira The Don Lego, And Other Amazing Things About Living In The Future

I love living in the future, as you well know. Every day we are bombarded with fuckeries, but the glory outweighs all of that, in my humble opinion. Every day we are bombarded with glory, like cosmic rays.

When I was a little boy, my favorite toy was Lego. We'd inherited a bunch if it from somewhere, and we had a ton of the stuff in a bucket, that grew a little bigger every Christmas, like my Grandpa's waistline. We used to pour it all out onto a blanket, and build cities and spaceships and monsters for hours, as the rain poured down outside. Lego was more primitive in those days. No stubble or eyepatches or any of that shit. I remember when Pirate Lego was introduced - the first Lego to have more than eyeballs and a smile on the little yellow heads. With Pirate Lego came the potential for a more expressive and individualised Lego. It was a revelation. I wrote letters to Lego Headquarters begging for Lego that was themed around my favourite things. I longed for Thundercats and He-Man lego. For Adam & The Ants and Anne Of Green Gables Lego. For me Lego.

Twenty odd years later, we're in the future, my mate Gwilym just spent £300 on a giant Lego Star Wars construct of some kind, and these wonderful humans have made some goddamn Akira The Don Lego. There it is at the top of the post, with a copy of my most recent comic strip in hand. Resplendent. This is the future I dreamed of. Pinch me.


OK, don't pinch me. It hurts. Instead, join me in raising a glass to Gemma from Kitchbits, who made that lovely thing, and go swag them out with your custom. They make all sorts of cool stuff. That was the future I dreamed of - a future in which people made cool stuff... and here were are.

Check this out:


POW! How dope is THAT? Time, that amazing emcee I discovered via a Twitter add, in a manner that will likely never happen again, has been working on a video for our awesome transatlantic musical collaboration Full Metal Alchemist. Thatssright Bubba. A transatlantic video collaboration. For we dwell in the future, a glorious, hitherto unimagined era in which humas meet and create art between the physical world and that ghostworld... The Digital.

The video is gonna be flipping sweet. I've seen Time's first bit. Like he says, it's got everyting you could want... food. Bullets. A gun.

You need to check Time if you haven't. He is amazing. He reminds me of me, but more cyberpunk. Check out his mixtape/album Ramenswag for a pretty fucking ace and trippy introduction to his world.


Meanwhile, another of my transatlantic rap superfriends, Bay Area boy wonder and Viper-rider ISSUE, has been speaking (digitally, natch), with the Seattle Times about our forthcoming collaborative project, World's Finest.

I am very excited about this record. Issue sent me 22 pieces of music, by him, Georgio Momurder, Drew Money, Scoot Foo and Schwartz to consider for the thing, and I feel fucking spoiled. What are they putting in the water in The Bay lately? There is so much amazing music coming out of there it is getting stupid by this point. Issue's new mixtape, Moonroof 2 dropped today, and it is a thing of incredible beauty and wonder, download it right now and turn the lights off. And if you haven't checked it yet, here's me and Issue's second collaboration (the first was 17 Year Old Blonde Girl & A Bottle Of Acid from Saturnalia Superman), THE LAMBORGHINIS, from his awesome Pig mixtape.


Meanwhile, the remixes keep coming in. This just came through Twitter:

I was like, yeah! And then I go this:


Which is pretty flipping fly. Works excellently during the verses and breakdown I thought. I think the choruses are a little abrasive for the tone of the music. Maybe if they were pitched down, or chopped up a lot, or overtly reverbed and brought down in the mix they'd sit easier. Either way, the music is brilliant. Propiau.

Propiau is pigeon Welsh for "props", before you ask. And speaking of which, Zef and I went to Bethnal Green Working Men's Club last night to take part in a LITERARY LIBRARY EXPERIENCE. Some weird mime people straight out of an episode of Spaced made noises at each other for 7 minutes, an Irishman told 95% of a fairy story an illiterate old friend of his had had transcribed from a dream, and Martin Carr and Eternaly Young Huw and Gruff Rhys performed a beautiful suite, held together by the oceaneesque strum of guitar triplets and delightful abortion-themed harmonising. It was a pretty surreal experience, now I think about it.

There they are, in front of a fucking massive and dope painting. I want to make a painting like that.

That's one of the pieces of paper they gave us. Oh yeah, the night was called The American Forever, Etc. - A Library, a presentation of The Brautigan Book Club. I believe it is going to be a regular thing, celebrating the works of Richard Brautigan, of whom I must admit I had previously never heard.

And that's me and my lil' bro Zef. He lives in London now, so I can call him up at 5:30 pm and invite him out to gigs. That is a very special thing, brothers and sisters.

Cursed Are The Cheesemakers

Welcome back to akirathedon.com, the Best Artist Website In The World! We were gone for a day, but now we are back, and we - the royal we, word to The Dear Dead Queenie Mum - are glad. We are glad to be back, and we are glad we were gone, because we believe it is important to stand by our principles, and to play our part, no matter how small, in the fight against assholeism.

If you're still not quite sure what all this STOP SOPA AND PIPA stuff is all about, you could do worse than watching this lil' Ted talk by Clay Shirky who nails it down in a beautifully succinct fashion. Suffice to say, had SOPA and PIPA been in place in 2004, www.akirathedon.com would not exist.

Almost as big on the internet yesterday was Alex James, who shocked the Channels by writing a column for The Scum about how much he loves McDonalds, and what a great idea it is to open up Greggs stores and put local bakeries out of business.

I am of the opinion that Alex James died in 1996 and was replaced by a Victorian-styled automaton created by Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris "for a laugh", but regardless, the level of outrage and "wah I loved Blur this has ruined my life" comments were a little surprising to me. He has, after all, been writing his column for The Scum for ages now. I've never read it, but it's a column for The Scum - what do you think's gonna be in it? Poems about how wonderful Arthur Scargill is?

Now, see that up there? That's a man with a fish for a head. I am possibly violating the fish's copyright by publishing that drawing, but that is beside the point. That up there is a drawing of a man with a fish for a head that I found in a folder of sketches from 2009 last night, and I have no idea why I drew it. I posted it on a few of my Channels last night, and people dug it, like celebrated illustrator and Draw Serge curator Jonathan Edwards.

Then I found ANOTHER one. This one was in colour, and a little bit freakier than the previous. I still have no idea why I drew them, or what they mean, but I am starting to think I should draw a hundred of them on a single two metre wide piece of paper.

I think that guy's eating a Refresher bar. Swag him out. I just took receipt of a load of bags of refresher bars, so they will be appearing in your bags of swag. The Little Shop of Awesome is open for business, and while a few of the Christmas offers have gone, many remain, and some new ones will be popping up shortly.

Ah, bless your soul Katie. When my merch is handled by a squad of miniature Charlie Sheen clones I will miss these little moments. It is a great pleasure to package up your parcels for you and write little notes and put sweets in them. But it takes so long! And that is time I could be spending writing the songs that soundtrack your life, that will remind you of falling in love when you are old and grey, that will give you the strength to biff a bully on the NOSE, and the urge to throw violent shapes on THE TRAIN.

Oh, hey, here's some good news. Following the success of my recent videos, and all the radio play I've been getting (Radios 1 AND 2, for instance!), The Life Equation is coming out in ACTUAL SHOPS! The first will be Rough Trade in London. So please go there and buy yourself, or your Mum a copy, so that they invite me back into the so-called real world, so to speak.

The next single and video from The Life Equation will be We Won't Be Broke Forever ft. Gruff Rhys in February. Dan Le Sac has done a beautiful remix. This excites me. And before that, there will be some new mixtape videos. So there is much to look forward to, brothers and sisters.

Oh, and I've uploaded some more acapellas for you. I have still not found an official home for them on here, so here's an updated list.


DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Evangelion ft Pixel & Marvin The Martian Acapella 140 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Fist of The North Star ft Littles Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Won’t Be Broke Forever Baby ft Gruff Rhys Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – I Am not Dead YEAH Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Nothing Lasts Forever ft Envy Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Video Highway Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Are Not Alone Acapella 125

I Never Shot Any Dope With Those Guys

I drew that in 1995. It was from a dream I had. I put it in the CLONES video. It still makes me feel a certain way. I am a very different beast today than I was then, for the most part a man of peace, but I still consider that thing up there to be unhuman and belonging at the bottom of the lake, and I would quite happily put it there.

As mentioned elsewhere on the site, grotesque ass-rag and world famous British Murdoch media publication The News Of The World is being shut down, a rotting, puss volcano of a limb hacked off to save the rest of the body, but that does not mean that the empire is over, or even wobbling. Sky, Fox, The Sun, The Times etc are THE SAME THING, and the closure of their red-topped Sunday print representative (until a suitable replacement is birthed) does not mean the closure of the operation. It means removal of a rotting, puss volcano of a limb to save the rest of the body.

Have you ever seen a rotting, puss volcano of a limb? I have. I've seen a few. I have lived with Junk People. One time I was sleeping on my matress in the corner of the squat, and I was awoken - for the first time, never since - by a vast and terrible stench. It was the terrible stench of a man whose legs had been cut off to save the rest of the body, and whose addiction had kept him injecting into the unhealed stumps, which boiled and bubbled and festered with puss and stink. His friends, my benefactors, had carried him up the stairs, to hang out and shoot dope with them. They were all so far gone down their particular roads that the stench did not shock them. I was 18, and it woke me up.

I never shot any dope with those guys. I could see what it had done to them. They were for the most part beautiful, kind, generous human beings, slaves to a sickness, and the acquisition of money to found that sickness. That's what our society is like. That's what the world we've built up around us.

We had some good times, me and my junkie friends. It was the summer, and we spent many happy afternoons in Finsbury park in the sunshine. But those moments were mere punctuation in their life's work: the acquisition of funds to buy junk, the consumption of junk, the attempts to come off junk, and the grim sumbmission to junk once those attempts had failed.

I have been trying hard to come off the junk all my life. I haven't had a television since 2003, and I guess that's been one tiny victory against the sickness. I don't buy their rotten newspapers. It's easy enough to not buy them after a short while, but British transport is full of temptation. I caught myself slipping the other day on the Central Line - I'd gotten through 5 foul pages of The Metro before I realised what I was doing. I felt nothing afterwards but the grime under my mental fingernails. The filthy turd-in-a-puddle aftershocks of institutionalised idiocy and person-programming.

But for the most part, I am still in. I am in the game. I eat their crap. I fall back into idiot habbits like drinking Pepsi every few months. I waste my bullshit money on their bullshit films (HAI GREEN LANTERN!). I chase their bullshit money!

But, sheeee-it, I try. We all try. We do our best. And I am proud of us. Little by little, we're getting there. The light at the end of the tunnel is only a train if you say it is.

Hey, look what I found in my inbox! It's some new music from the artist formerly known as Mothboy. I dig it a lot. He says he's gonna get Jeres to sing on it. I think that's gonna be rad.

Slowraiders Demo Instrumental by slowraiders

You know what else happend today? Did sent loads more swag to loads more people. Lookit that swag!

I also made a beat for this awesome rapper I've come across recently called Time. It's for The Manga Mixtape. I think it's ace. I had it on loop for the whole time it took me to write this post.

Oh, and that rubber grill I was telling you about, with the bleach in? It's working! Look at that! 7 days until my wedding, and will be have me a non-borked smile, to go with the non-borked back I'm insisting on. I have had to cancel my appreance at that Ritzy gig in Brixton tomorrow night as it is still in a bad way, but it will be better by next Friday with some love and care. Love and care fix most things.

Giants Were Real

Look at that giant phone! How weird is that? Me and BJ spotted it on the way back from the gym last night (Blonde Jeremy has joined Jeres and I in our Hackney Council gym memberships, so I now have two gym buddies). Well, BJ spotted it. I couldn't spot a pair of tits in a brothel. I lollop around like a 1920s cartoon animal with music playing in my head, "fa la la la la la!" I hardly notice anything physical. So I walked straight past this, ("fa la la la la la!") and I had a comically delayed reaction to BJ's frenzied cries of, "woah! Look at that! A fucking giant phone!" In fact, when I actually gazed upon the thing, it took a few moments to realise what it was.

A giant phone.


A giant's phone.

I was reminded of the following photo:

A beautiful bit of photoshopping, certainly. But one that serves as a distraction and a red herring, for doubt not do I that giants once roamed this earth. I do not doubt that for a second. We have plenty of evidence.

I don't doubt lots of things that some people would consider crazy though. I have never once in my life doubted the existence of life on other planets, for example. To think otherwise always struck me as preposterously arrogant. As for us, I am of the opinion that humans have existed on this planet for well over a million years, that great civilisations have come and gone and come again. And will again. Evidence is all around us. I see time cyclical, fuck your 3D (RIP Ninjavideo, fuck your TV). When I talk about sitting on the 50 pees in Bangor seeing "everything that ever was all at once" on Pissing On The Roof, I am referring to an actual thing that happened. The fifty pees were what we called the benches outside Woolies (because they were shaped like 50 pence pieces), and once, when I was 13 or so, I was sat on one of these 50 pees, munching on some stolen confectionery or other (it would have been some Fruit Pastilles or a Crunchie, because that's what I used to nick from Woolies every day after school, like clockwork), and all of a sudden the air around thickened and went went SWOOOOSH, and I could suddenly see everything that had ever been in my immediate vicinity, and ever would be - every building, every structure, every vehicle, every animal every person... the people looked like tagliatelle, coiling up the high street as far as the eye could see. I don't know how long it lasted, or how it stopped. A decade later I read Grant Morrison's The Invisibles, and right at the end he described something very similar (like "worms", he had it), and I was stunned. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote about moments in time being like a big pile of polaroids that a man, if he so wished, could traverse as easily as rifling through a sock drawer - easier, in fact, if he was disciplined.

I am not disciplined, but I would like to be, one day. I am definitely getting better at certain practices. I notice synchronicities every other hour or so these days (GM says the first step in becoming a magician is noting such synchronicities, while Malcolm X used to say they were signs that he was "walking with Allah). I intuit things before they happen a lot more. If you're going to ring me, chances are I'm going to ring you. At the same time. For a man whose head is buried in technology 14 hours a day I am not doing so badly. I suspect not having a television plays a large part in this. I thank my Lucky Stars every day.

I say, "thank you, lucky stars!"

My Lucky Stars beam, approvingly.

But I do look forward to the point when I can unplug myself from the machine, if only for a few years. Who knows? Maybe once I'm out I won't want to go back. I heard a man on a radio show the other night talking about about a peasant woman he used to see every day standing in a field. "What are you doing?" he asked her. "Talking with my husband," she explained. "He works many many miles away".

One day telephone boxes were installed, and the man saw the woman using one. "Why are you using that telephone?" he asked, "I thought you communicated telepathically?"

The woman replied, "oh, this is much easier."

Ho ho ho, eh? Anyway. I must get back to my Great Works (right now, amongst many other things, I am trying to find a radio plugger. Do you know one? I need one). But, as ever, I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on these matters in the comments...




Trunk Music

We've been shooting stuff for ATD25.

Last night we were up till 4 am, and Set Dressing Tim had a set to dress at 6am!

[Not to mention my long suffering better, sweeter and kinder half, up at 6 also, love you baby!]


That's a tiny part of one of the pictures.


The finished thing is going to be beautiful.

(And will go some way to revealing Joey2tits sinister ambition for this *£!$@# record)

We're working with this guy, fellow ex-Brum Andrew Bainbridge. Go look at his stuff and be filled with excitement as to what you can expect.

The first music will appear sometime next week.

And in the immediate present:

A show at a festival, for which Jeres, Joey, Birthday Jim (happy birthday Birthday Jim!) and I have been rehearsing. We have a watertight greatest hits set ready, now I just have to conjure an opening 15 minute mosaic. I have some rehearsal footage, but I don't know if I have time to edit it. I still need to cut you something for Sky...

...but before that, it is Wednesday, and that means it is DONCAST DAY. Let me know in the comments if there's anything you'd like playing, or discussing.


“Hackney Wicked” : #RAGE!

We survived, dear reader! The hordes of art people descended upon our little home for three days of terrible music and the smashing of bottles of lager! And lo it was like the bit in the Magic Porridge Pot when the little village is flooded with porridge. But with worse music. Avast! Look, here's some footage I took last night at 11:30pm:


See? Exactly!

Anyway. We had a nice time actually. On Friday we hung out a bit and drank some ales, and on Saturday we watched Gonzales destroy the Bugged Out Tent at Field Day. Here he is with The Cock N Bull Kid. And yes, that's Mocky on the right. Forsooth!


Cock N Bull kid recorded a song at Don Studios III a few years back, with Miss Odd Kid. I should dig that out and play it on The Doncast.

After that we escaped to my little brother's house in North London, where he and his lady were kind enough to beat us at Articulate. On Sunday we went to Ikea, and I had a meltdown in the carpark because I was hungry and nobody was taking my suggestions as to how to fit the bookcase in the car seriously, and the bastards were piping shit chart music with no bass and too much top end at too-high volumes.

Today Gonzales came round and we did some dope music for the Donzo mixtape.

This evening I played some Gay Tony and started doing some more Dondoodles. That's one up top.

Anyway. Enough of me. How are you?

A Video For Steven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55mnf_unsmU Here it is then. I have been meaning to put together a visual for my tribute to The Greatest Who Ever Did It for a while now, but Kieron Gillen's inclusion of the song in his top 40 of 2009, and the revelation via Paul O'Regan that it was the only song on that list not on Youtube spurred me on.

The thing was SUPPOSED to be simple, but I ended spending till 4am last night and all day today (well, yesterday now, technically) on it. As is my wont. AND I AM GLAD I DID! Cos it's ace. So cheers Kieron and Paul!

I really should big up Clipnabber as well. BIG UP CLIPNABBER!

And while we're in the giving mood (we are, right?) someone was asking for that Sage/Babybird/Sleeper/etc mashup thing that was on Third Hand Wire Riffs and ATD19 the other day, right?

Well here it is.

Happy Wednesday!

Next: ATD20. Work has begun. I'm in a celebratory mood, and I have a deciversarry coming up. Kool Kid and P Mo know what Im talking about. WE ARE DEEP IN THIS  RAP GAME LIKE METAPHORS! Think again before you blink again!

And with that I shall  leave you with the best comment I have seen all year, found at the bottom of an article about how that hacker guy the yanks wanna lock up for 70 years found evidence of aliens and stuff in NASA's system:

"i have evidence of a conspiracy not only to cover up ufo´s and aliens but also the worldwide crisis happening today, there has been major cover ups of "aliens" visiting "our" planet. it is not our planet it is theirs and they plan to keep it that way by controlling the government, i plan to unravel more of this conspiracy and to reveal it also"

Well, what are you waiting for man? Spit it out! Sheeee-it!

PS - Christopher Lee is releasing a "symphonic metal album" in March. Are YOU?

PPS - Here's a letter Morrissey wrote to a music rag in 1978 about how The Cramps made The Police "seem like a great big sloppy bowl of mush" and how their drummer is "the most compelling in rock history.


So, I got some (ha!) sleep, and I listened to the noises Birddogg was making up here while I was down in New York, doing whatever it was I was doing in New York. Like, there's some ill stuff. But one in particular is just tremendous. it is mighty. It fills my heart. And prefectly fits so many of the raps I was writing in New York, tempom flow, everything. So, what I've done, is draw various raps, and bits of raps, together, to create this New York song that's been brewing all the time I've been here. It is best I get it out now, before I FORGET. Annoyingly, the necassary component is missing. So piss.

Bad: All the stuff I bought last week - food, drink, socks, weed - is gone. Mostly. I got a lot of Ritz crackers, peanut butter and macaroni. Good: There's a Death's Head Moth on my window. (See right) Bad: There is animal shit by my window. Good: The air outside is fresh and envigorating. Bad: The air in the top level of the house, in which I am supposed to be dwelling, is thick with the stink of animal and of animal excrement.

I went to turn on the sauna earlier, and nearly trod in cat shit. Or dog shit. It could be both. Whatever. It's like, wow, sauna! Oh, catshit. Wow! Oh. Wow! Oh. Etc. So, I wanted to go into town and get a job today, to pay for my ticket back to New York, but waited about for people to come with me rather than just doing it, and the end result is it's super late now, too late to get a job anywhere, and everyone's going into town to go out, save me, who must stay at home cos he has no ID (this is a worry), and it's too far to chance not being allowed in anywhere.

A ha!

So I should write more now. I wrote a bunch earlier. Phil is worrying that Amy has forotten his ass, as she went in her tiny car to take Cecelia and James over an hour ago. But she hasn't forgotten him. It's just miles from ShanGayKen to Woodstoock! A HA!

I just asked Spiky if he has a message for the world. He said, "spitroast!" So there you go.


So I fell alseep on the sofa after 5, and was awakened gently by Super Phil at 6:20, and it transpired Bird left my bag with my passport in it at the venue last night. But Bird's got me another ID card, so we're outside waiting for Jeff to pick us up at 6:30. And at midday we're in LA, and soon after that we're in Interscope's offices,and I'm filling a bag with Nirvana, Guns N Roses, Gilbert And Sullivan, Dre, Peter Gabriel, Police and other such back catalogue. Jimmy Iovine has a signed letter from Tupac and a video console that won't switch on. And loads of ideas. A balcony. A lush view. LA is lush to look at, from these places of advantage. Like, later we visit Jeff and Trent's, and there's this fucking alien cat that loves me, and an incredible, incredible view, of this desolate wilderness spattered with money.

It was a lovely day.

But in the nighttime it is hard not to see that LA is awash with cunts. It is a sad and massive amount of cunts, and I am not sure whether it is sad because this is what the world did to them, or because this is what they do to the world, or because they are cunts, and you can see their faces rotting right in front of your eyes.