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Akira The Don VS Chilly Gonzales: A Game Of Chess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gEqbZsPszs Remember the other week I said Chilly was coming round to play a game of chess? Well, here's the proof. Now, Dear Darling Joey neglected to put any of my really ILL moves in the video, but you should know that first blood was MINE, as was second, third, fourth, etc, and shit was looking pretty good for me for the whole first hour of the game. My defence soon crumbled after that, mind, and that Canadian swine toyed with me, as a cat might a mouse, for the last 15 minutes. At which point I had the brilliant idea of challenging him to a game of Street Fighter. Tragically my second controller ran out of battery, so the true whupping could not be administered... but you just wait. I went out and bought one of those controller chargers for £6.99 (you got £5 off it you bought an England Football team plastic figure for 5p), and next time that great big hairy Jewlord is in the building I am gonna clean his clock.

Shout out The Quietus!

Anyway. Today is kind of funky. I am doing more metadata. As you know, I recently got my entire back catalogue back, so its been taken down from the whole of the internet, and re-upped via my new label and distributor. I am also upping every single song I have ever done individually into my shop, and onto Soundcloud. Shit is REAL out here bubba. This afternoon I'm mixing ish for that compilation I asked you all about, and ATD25. It is not too late to sound of about stuff you might like in ANY OF these things. Website, compilation, whatever. I am, as always, your humble servant, after all.

Oh, and I have been taking an inventory also. If you start poking around the shop, you will notice things, like, THERE'S ONLY ONE PAIR OF HI-TOPS LEFT.

And THREE PAIRS OF PLIMSOLS.

And 5 iANDY SHIRTS.

AND SO ON!

Speaking of which, Zef got a handle on the new shop section for AkiraTheDon.com 5.0 last night, and it is looking SMART. We are gonna win some awards for this one, I am telling you. Oh, and shout out Soundcloud, who have been being very nice and helpful and have also been bumping When We Were Young this morning.

OK, back to work. You should go look at the cute old couple in the Blob Blog.

PAX!

Zzz

So, I got some (ha!) sleep, and I listened to the noises Birddogg was making up here while I was down in New York, doing whatever it was I was doing in New York. Like, there's some ill stuff. But one in particular is just tremendous. it is mighty. It fills my heart. And prefectly fits so many of the raps I was writing in New York, tempom flow, everything. So, what I've done, is draw various raps, and bits of raps, together, to create this New York song that's been brewing all the time I've been here. It is best I get it out now, before I FORGET. Annoyingly, the necassary component is missing. So piss.

Bad: All the stuff I bought last week - food, drink, socks, weed - is gone. Mostly. I got a lot of Ritz crackers, peanut butter and macaroni. Good: There's a Death's Head Moth on my window. (See right) Bad: There is animal shit by my window. Good: The air outside is fresh and envigorating. Bad: The air in the top level of the house, in which I am supposed to be dwelling, is thick with the stink of animal and of animal excrement.

I went to turn on the sauna earlier, and nearly trod in cat shit. Or dog shit. It could be both. Whatever. It's like, wow, sauna! Oh, catshit. Wow! Oh. Wow! Oh. Etc. So, I wanted to go into town and get a job today, to pay for my ticket back to New York, but waited about for people to come with me rather than just doing it, and the end result is it's super late now, too late to get a job anywhere, and everyone's going into town to go out, save me, who must stay at home cos he has no ID (this is a worry), and it's too far to chance not being allowed in anywhere.

A ha!

So I should write more now. I wrote a bunch earlier. Phil is worrying that Amy has forotten his ass, as she went in her tiny car to take Cecelia and James over an hour ago. But she hasn't forgotten him. It's just miles from ShanGayKen to Woodstoock! A HA!

I just asked Spiky if he has a message for the world. He said, "spitroast!" So there you go.

Appologies

So, there were a bunch of updates and pictures and things, and they got wiped! Oh, the tragedy. So, a recap. On my last day on Rivington Street I saw a white thug in an open-top Hummer drive by blasting out 'I Want The One I Can't Have' and nodding along with a serious expression about his face.

Then we went.

Wade and I ended up on the coach, as there was no room in the van, or car. We got there early, and checked out the scene. The scene is small.

We don't actually live in Woodstock. We live in Shandaken, outside. Well, just outside. Half way up a mountain, hidden away by forest, amongst bears and chipmunks and what have you. In a big old dusty house full of weird porn and broken stuff, with brown water and giant ants. Like, there's a jacuzzi, but it doesn't seem to work. There is the biggest TV you've ever seen, but it's got a big black tear across the front and doesn't tune properly. It's a two hour walk to the nearest shop, whihc is a petrol station, and does a good line in biscuits. The local girl's got a lot of guns.

It is very lovely to look at up in Shandaken. Mountains covered in trees, mainly. Streams. Clouds so low you can jump up and punch them.

I miss Wade, who is back in London sorting out affairs. All my stuff is in boxes.

Lush

So I fell alseep on the sofa after 5, and was awakened gently by Super Phil at 6:20, and it transpired Bird left my bag with my passport in it at the venue last night. But Bird's got me another ID card, so we're outside waiting for Jeff to pick us up at 6:30. And at midday we're in LA, and soon after that we're in Interscope's offices,and I'm filling a bag with Nirvana, Guns N Roses, Gilbert And Sullivan, Dre, Peter Gabriel, Police and other such back catalogue. Jimmy Iovine has a signed letter from Tupac and a video console that won't switch on. And loads of ideas. A balcony. A lush view. LA is lush to look at, from these places of advantage. Like, later we visit Jeff and Trent's, and there's this fucking alien cat that loves me, and an incredible, incredible view, of this desolate wilderness spattered with money.

It was a lovely day.

But in the nighttime it is hard not to see that LA is awash with cunts. It is a sad and massive amount of cunts, and I am not sure whether it is sad because this is what the world did to them, or because this is what they do to the world, or because they are cunts, and you can see their faces rotting right in front of your eyes.