theft

The Strange And Terrible Saga Of The Fake ATD

Let's start with a painting of "me". That up there, as you can probably tell, is a painting of "me". It's not me. It's a painting of "me", by Lady Flan Flanagan. Some people think it looks nothing like "me", because when they think of "me", or look at "me", they see something very different. But it is, regardless. Flan's painting of "me". Not me.

You see?

I got a disturbing email on the weekend. It went a little something like this:

Please this is really important

I am on a website called IMVU.....there is someone on there that says they are you....this is seriously upsetting me since this person has told me they are really into me. I am not a dumb person.  Your music is being played on there.  I am very upset about this since I feel as though I have been played.  I am hurting.

Something about the letter made me feel that it was genuine. I was concerned. So I replied:

I have never heard of a website called IMVU!

What is it?

Don't be upset. Life is beautiful, even if there ARE idiots on the internet.

PAX!

@!

I also asked for a screenshot or something so I could get the site's admins to get rid of the impostage. Then came this:

Thank you so much for answering me. This guy is saying he is you. Has sent me all your recordings via an msn messenger account he created with you picture. I have been going through some really tough times in my life, got on there to waste sometime and met him. It is a virtual "club" so to speak. Where avatars are created and you basically just live in a virtual world. This person has created tshirts with Akira the Don on them on there. He has a best friend on there who he claims is his/your mentor Mark Hill. I am sorry to have bothered you. You are an amazing artist, and I love your music. I feel so horrible right now. So used. I didn't think someone like you would be on there let alone be interested in me. I am by far not an ugly girl, I am just ordinary.

And this:

I was now, officially disturbed. Out there in internets land there were a pair of creepazoids using my identity and music to conive and trick and cuase hurt! How disgusting! Primarily, I felt very bad for the girl who'd gotten in touch with me. So I replied:

Thank you so much for letting me know. I have contacted the site, so the impostor will not be imposting for much longer.

As for this "Mark Hill" character, I have never had a "mentor", and I don't know anyone called Mark Hill.

What a horrible thing to do to a person! I am very sorry this has happened to you. But I hope some good comes of it. I am sure it will. If anything, you've learned that people on the internets are not always as they seem (this also applies in so called "real life"). Your intuition was obvious working well, since you emailed me, so congratulations on an excellent intuition! Just don't let this episode make you untrusting of humanity in general, because most people are genuine, and not fraudulent suckfish...

As for the "someone like me/someone like you" thing, there is no such difference between us - we are humans, and equals! Don't waste any more energy on trolls, and remember always that you are Awesome.

I emailed the site's admin and press departments. At the time of writing they've yet to reply.

I pondered the thing a little, then me and my woman went out and celebrated my friend Marvin The Martian's birthday, and I forgot all about it for a little while.

Ah, good times we did have.

When I got home, I had a nice email from the girl who'd got in touch with me in the first place, thanking me for being "sweet", and noting a sliver lining to this strange, dark cloud, that being her exposure to my music. "Clones is my fav hands down," she said.

Clones.

Ha.

Zen Pyramid, internets detective had been looking into the matter, and found the Fake ATD's account - which was plastered with ATD16's "Adam Narkiewicz Is The Don" artwork, and my videos - plus accompanying creepy avatar.

I had another mail too.

Hey there ATD,

I need to apologise, i emailed you as i was lead to believe you were this guy ive known as my virtual husbands bestmate for a whole year! the guy i was with was apparently Marsamgod, ( Mark Hill,) his best mate= Adam, aka Akira the Don, so im sorry i wont bother you again, i understand holly had been in touch, which was when the alarm bells went off.

even signed his emails,

@

PAX!!.

Take Care, love your music, been sent it for a year n half

At this point, a little penny dropped.

I now realised who this Mark Hill character was. I knew him as Marsamgod. He'd been buying stuff from my shop for years, as far back as Stunners 130. He'd left comments on this website. I'd sent him heartfelt letters of thanks, and some doodles. We'd communicated a little via email, which is suppose is how they managed to copy my email style.

How horrid.

How sad.

How strange.

I then got an email notification alerting me that @marsamgod had just stopped following me on twitter.

I smiled, sadly, at my flickering twin monitors.

I did some work, then I looked at my Gmail. There I saw this:

Death of the fake don

I wish to wholeheartedly apologise for my heinous actions in dragging you and people who believed my lies good names and reputations down to my level

I have dragged people through the dirt and I am truly sorry.

I admit my mistakes in twisting people around my finger and hope that you can forgive me in time, you are a truly talented artist and I am sorry that I basked in the fake glow of your talents.

I have deleted all accounts pertaining to be you and I hope that this can be the end of the matter, I have sorely learned my lesson

Good luck in your future endeavours and once more my deepest apologies

No name.

Just an email: ajturner at gmail.com.

I didn't reply. What to say? "Thank you for your email mister no-name who's been using my name for A YEAR (that I know of) to chat up girls on the internet! I accept your applogy, have a nice life!"

I mean, do I accept his apology? What's to say his claim to have "sorely learned [his] lesson" isn't another big fat lie? What's to say "he" and his buddy Mark aren't off setting up new profiles on new social networking sites, ensnaring new online wives and girlfriends? What's to say "he" is a "he" anyway? Can we believe anything we read on our flickering monitors?

My woman's stepfather says I should get in touch with the police. Maybe I should just hunt him down and tear his lying tongue from his head. Stomp his lying fingers into bone dust.

Say this happened to you. What would you do?

At the time of writing, I haven't hard anything from the person who claimed to be my "mentor", Mark Hill, AKA Marsamgod.

I have, however, answered many emails and tweets sent by people who say they like my music, and I have trusted those people to be genuine in their communications. I don't feel as bad for myself, a victim of a modern and futuristic crime, as perhaps I should. I feel very bad for the victims of a year's worth of deceit at the hands of a tragic comedy double act.

And I feel rather sorry for Mr No-Name and Mister Mars, who steal from the lives of others to bring light to the darkness of their own, the latter of whom has yet to get in touch to explain his part in this sorry story.

I don't know if I want to hear it, anyway.

There are too many genuine poeple out there who need of my attention.

And I am only one me.

Interminable hive of activity that I am, I have often wished I could clone myself. One must be careful of the wishes one puts out there into the multiverse.

So I wish peace and love for us all.

And I thank you for everything you have given me.

I remain, your humble servant,

ATD.

PAX!

@!

PS - The only "social networks" I am on are Facebook, and Twitter (the latter of which isn't really a social network anyway). If you see an ATD anywhere else, tell them I say hi.

Some Things That I Believe

Where on Earth to begin?

It's been a goddamn crazy couple of days, that much we can be certain of.

With regards to the much publicised student protests that went down in London yesterday, let me make my feelings on the matter clear:

I believe that the sum of our collective knowledge should be available to every man and woman born unto this planet.

I believe that education is a right, not a privilege.

I believe that we have the resources to provide that education to every man and woman on this planet.

I believe that forcing a human into debt in return for what is theirs by right is wrong, in fact worse than just plain old wrong, but demonstrably evil.

I believe that people have the right to protest this evil without the fear of being beaten, aimed, dragged along the road and trampled by hired thugs who describe their actions as "sport" on television documentaries. Who joins the riot police to stand around in a helmet hoping for peace? I have met these people, I know who they are. The overwhelming majority of them are merely thugs, plain and simple, mind-numbed bullies who get off on the tiny sliver of power they are afforded over their fellow man by their cringing, paper-skinned paymasters. Sausage fingered dullards who enjoy nothing more than charging into an unarmed crowd of children and beating them with sticks.

I believe that smashing the windows of the treasury, daubing the precious statues in parliament square, scribbling on the bust of the dead imperialist and racist Winston Chuchill and smashing up Topshop is a perfectly appropriate response to tyranny.

I believe that the BBC, whose shameful, biased, sneering rolling news coverage I watched, wincingly for too many hours yesterday, are as bad as the swine they protect. They wailed and gnashed their teeth over vandalised telephone boxes, made cheery small talk about the future of the Liberal Democrats, and the "game of politics", and said nothing of substance of the affect this enforced debt will surely have on the next two generations.

I believe that Charles and Camilla should have been dragged out of that car and hung from the nearest telegraph pole like a pair of mouldy old trainers. After which they should have had their allowances removed, and all that stolen property they squat in, all those trophies they have our people dust and buff for them, those trinkets and baubles they horde like Middle Earthian dragons taken from them, sold, and the money put towards our health and education systems.

I believe that once that was done, we should have take all the money we are spending on foul abominations like TRIDENT and THE IRAQ WAR and so on and fucking so on, and put THAT into our education, and health systems.

Next, we should have taken back the money our cretinous representatives in parliament handed over to the criminals that gambled our money down the plug hole in the first place, the "wanking fucking bankers" so well described by this heroic Irishman. We should have taken their mansions, we take their baubles, we take their trinkets. Those are STOLEN PROPERTY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koY6kXhQDQo

That is what I believe. That is my solution.

Nicholas Clegg, who resembles a fat python more and more each day, would call me a dreamer. I call him a sweaty-palmed house slave, a frontman and apologist for a criminal conglomerate that would have us all as serfs, with him faring little better. THEY DON'T WANT YOU IN THEIR GANG, Fat Little Nicholas.  They laugh while they fuck your wife and your children in their skulls as you sleep your sweating, desperate four hours of sleep each night. When they are done with you they will throw you on the fire. They will suck on your bones.

We are being pissed on, and we are calling it rain. We are being raped, and calling it tough love.

Living In The Future does not involve bowing to inbred  scum, neither does it involve taking a fetid, scabby, leprous cock in the collective ass and calling it unavoidable turbulence. We are each of us born rich beyond our wildest imaginations. We have all we need within our grasp. Do not let a gang of creeping, grasping suckfish tell you anything otherwise. Fuck these scum, and all who harbour them.

Kill Nick Simmons With Guns And Fire, The Thieving Little Sod!

"I've been plagiarising my whole life. It's called learning." Akira The Don, 2008, paraphrasing Hunter S Thompson

So, I was taking a break from the rent-earning task I was doing today that I kinda hoped I'd have got out of the way by this point what with having loads of really important stuff to do like songs and comic strips and whathaveyou, riiiight, and I had a look at Tweetdeck, and at the top of my mentions column, which is essentially an inbox, I had the following, from fellow Death's Head fan @jaykayell_ :

@AkiratheDon Sorry to beg of your services good sirrah but could you let your followers know about this http://bit.ly/a5Frv9

And I thought, sheee-it, who am I, Neil Gaiman? Then I clicked on it, cos I am totally into helping people out. I figured it might be a song that needed some promo, or a charity, or something. But it was not! It was a link to a message-board, seething with outrage over this indie comic that's full of art that rips off other comics, that'd I read about already earlier on Robot 6 while I was eating my hot buttered toast.

So I was like,

@jaykayell_ The thing about Gene Simmons' son? I saw that earlier. Silly boy. Why'd you want everyone to know?

And he was like,

@akirathedon Art theft really pee's me off. Speshly when it's so blatant, just thought you'd be the man to report them :)

And I was like, HMMMMMM. I suppose I AM that man.

I am, after all, an authority on comic books - well, the comic books I've read at any rate. Or the one's I've read that I can remember. Like, I read a lot of Justice League comics at one point, but I'm buggered if I can tell you what happened in any of them, apart from that one where everybody fell alseep. Actually, that's all I can remember about that one. Batman probably figured it out. He usually does.

ANYWAY! I know stuff. And you know what stuff I probably know most about? Ripping stuff off. Shee-it, I even called my second album - well, my first album-mixtape, my Hatfull of Hollow, shall we say - Thieving. That's something I do. I steal stuff, bubba. And make new stuff with it. And that's what this kid Nick Simmons did, right? He ripped off some stuff and made some new stuff with it. For example, a panel from Tite Kubo's famous Manga Bleach, and a panel from Simmons' Incarnate:

OK, that's pretty similar. I'm not quite sure what he's added there. Other than laughter. Laughter's good, right?

"AH AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Oh no, I just noticed the other guy's laughing too, just with a uniform typeface. Oops. Well, Simmons got rid of the drooly blood stuff! That changed it, right?

Um...

Further investigation reveals that much of Incarnate is copied from Bleach, from fight sequences to character designs right down to personality types. Simmons is obviously a big Bleach fan.

Now, as I mentioned, I am an authority in the field of creative theft. I have sampled the crap out of most of my favourite artists, and have always been as brazen as possible about it. Like, when I ripped off a gang of Jack Kirby art for my second album-mixtape, The Omega Sanction's sleeve. I said I'd ripped off a load of Jack Kirby art. I'd changed it a bit, I'd made it look like me, and arranged it in a big Omega Symbol, so it was something new - it looked like something else now, and, more importantly, it said something else.

Not that saying something new with your stolen art is necessary. The message I put across in CLONES was pretty much the same as Alice Cooper's in his Clones (We're All). I just went into more detail - my detail. And I went crazy with the drums and bass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGBgQHDl9w8

I also credited Alice Cooper on the record. Maybe if Nick Simmons has put a nice "inspired by Tite Kubo's Bleach" at the start of his comic people wouldn't be calling for his immediate DEATH by ANGRY BLOGGING. Then again, maybe if he was someone other than Gene Simmons' son, and people weren't already suspicious that he's got his own comic book because of that monied parental bonus, rather than any of his own talents, maybe there would less of a giant shit being given. I mean, it's not like this sort of thing is rare in comics. They have a word for it: "Swipe". Some of the industry's biggest names have been doing it for years. People like Levi's Ad star Rob "Crosshatched Groinal Area" Liefeld, for example:

And so on... Sheee-it, Rob even has his own character called SMASH!, who's a, shall we say, hulking individual with purple skin and a propensity for city-levelling fights with other super-types.

But so what, right? Doesn't Alan Moore steal all his characters from out of copyright Victorian books? Wasn't X-Men a rip off of Doom Patrol (super powered outcasts lead by bloke in wheel chair)? Wasn't Batman created by drawing on top of a picture of Superman? Wasn't Superman himself a big rip off of Doc Savage, Man of Bronze?

The Stones Stole. Led Zepplin stole. Kool Herc stole.

If we dismissed all stolen works from popular culture we wouldn't have any popular culture.

So Sayeth The Don.

As for Nick Simmons, he's only 22, give him time to learn. You gotta copy a whole gang of pictures before you get good at making your own. He obviously loves what he's doing, so let him get on with it. He will learn from this. Either way, I'm not salty about any jump-starts he might be getting. I don't imagine having Gene Simmons as a dad is all that fun in real life.

Well, that's my 5pence worth anyway. What do you think?

OK, Now We're Getting Somewhere...

Well gang, I listened to your comments, I slept, I dreamed, I did some world-class rapping (hold tight Mothboy!), I opened a business account, I researched some new conduits, then I sat down 45 minutes ago with the new Cam'ron mixtape and Manga Studio 4, and mashed this out.

We're definitely getting somewhere now. This lil dude's got personality. I haven't even given him a recognisable outfit yet, but this is definitely going in the right direction. Might need simplifying a little. Glasses is a no-no cos they restrict the eyeballs - and anyway, I got my contact-lens prescription, and as soon as I've got a spare £40 I'm getting me a six month supply. Mainly so I can rock the 3D glasses I robbed from the cinema after I saw Up. I swear those things have luck in them.

Anyway. What do you reckon?

LISTEN: Akira The Don Breaks The Remix's Record Like A Pinyata

etm-and-akira

STREAM: Akira The Don On XFM's The Remix (Radio Rip) (The actual mix is 4 minutes in if you can't be arsed to listen to me and Eddy talking)

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - 21010 (Right click and Save As, yes?)

See that? That Eddy Temple-Morris bowing to my awesomeness cos I went up in his studio at XFM and SMASHED HIS RECORD LIKE A PINYATA. Like it says in the title. That's me, post-record-smashing. I see Brad Pitt's stolen my look. Where's that gif?

smh

There he is.

So, yeah. I did it baby! I beat the record held by Wizard from Deekline And Wizard and mixed a staggering 210 of my favouritest joints into ten minutes.

Truefactz!

Eddy was impressed:

etmtweet

he said, on his Twitter. He just got into Twitter, he loves it. He was still looking at it on the Twitter homepage though, the big silly, so I told him to get Tweetdeck and now his life is better.

Anyway. WHAT AN AWESOME THING THAT WAS TO DO! Thanks for the oppurtunity Eddy. I cannot tell a lie, I spent 3 days on it, which is crazy, but I think it was worth it. People seemed to enjoy it anyway. I'm ripping the show right now, and will have that up here later for you to listen to. We'll be making a CDQ version of the mix available for download later this week.

FTW!

EDIT, 03/11/09: OK. Here's the full list of songs used. Bear in mind there ARE ACTUALLY MORE... I just forgot to note some of them as I went along. For a start, the first thing you hear is David Hasslehoff's intro from my Curbcrawling Rapists' Anthem, from ATD16... but still. Also bear in mind this list isn't in the EXACT order... but most of the songs are in the right ballpark. OK? OK!

Akira The Don 21010 - The Components

1.    Alice Cooper – Poison 2.    KLF – 3AM Eternal 3.    Jeff Wayne – War Of The Worlds 4.    Mogwai – Mogwai Fear Satan 5.    Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer 6.    Gary Moore – Like Teardrops 7.    New Order - True Faith 8.    New Order - Blue Monday 9.    Snap – The Power 10.    Tag Team – Woomph (There it is) 11.    Dead Prez - Hip-hop 12.    MOP – Ante Up 13.    Pharoe Monch - Simon Says 14.    Reel 2 Real – I Like To Move It 15.    Skee Lo - I Wish 16.    Soul Brothers – The Groove 17.    The Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls 18.    The Smiths – This Charming Man 19.    Leonard Cohen – A Thousand Kisses Deep 20.    Extreme – Get The Funk out 21.    Kiss – God Gave Rock N Roll To You 22.    Akira The Don - Living In The Future 23.    The Flying Pickets - Creep 24.    A Tribe Called Quest  - Can I  kick it 25.    Billy Joel – Anthony’s Song 26.    Sultans of ping FC – Where’s Me Jumper 27.    The Beastie Boys - Shame In Your Game 28.    Jilted John – Going Steady 29.    Kicks Like A Mule - The Bouncer 30.    Busta Rhymes – Woo hah (Got You All In Check) 31.    Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes 32.    Prince Far I – Commandment Of Drugs 33.    Prince - Get off 34.    Beverly Craven – Promise Me 35.    The Primitives - Crash 36.    Aerosmith - Living On The Edge 37.    Tori Amos – Past The Mission 38.    Outkast & Slick Rick – Da Art of Storytelling 39.    Envy – Set Yourself On Fire 40.    Johny Cash – When The Man Comes Around 41.    Van Morrisson – Jackie Wilson Said (I’m In Heaven When You Smile) 42.    Max B – Never Wanna Go back 43.    Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar babies 44.    Menswe@r - Daydreamer 45.    Gene – Olympian 46.    James Brown – Funky Drummer 47.    Geto Boys - The G Code 48.    Soft cell - Tainted Love 49.    The Beastie Boys - Body Movin 50.    Wu-Tang Clan – Da Mytery Of Chessboxin’ 51.    Opus III – It’s A Fine Day 52.    Michael Jackson  - Rock With You 53.    ODB – Shimmy Shimmy Ya 54.    MF Doom – Super 55.    Ministry – Jesus Built My Hotrod 56.    Adam Green – Bluebirds 57.    Billy Bragg – A New England 58.    Alcoholics ft ODB - Hip-Hp Drunkies 59.    Big Narstie - Back 60.    Vainilla Ice - Ice Ice baby 61.    Chris de Burgh – A Spaceman Came Travelling 62.    Queen ft David Bowie – Under Pressure 63.    Dead Prez - Police State 64.    Alice Cooper – Clones 65.    Tom Petty – Free Falling 66.    The Human League - Human 67.    Akira The Don ft Swiss - Rick Witter 68.    Arab Strap - Kate Moss 69.    Nick Cave – God Is in The House 70.    PRML SCRM – Kill All Hippies 71.    Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill 72.    Dre Dre - The Next Episode 73.    Diana Ross – I Will Survive 74.    Rick James – Flashdanbce 75.    Jim Carrol Band – People Who Died 76.    Bros – When Will I Be Famous 77.    Damian Marley - Confrontation 78.    Afrika Bamaataa & The Soul Sonic Force - Planet Rock 79.    Sean Paul - Gimme The Light 80.    Rick James – Hard To Get 81.    Warren Zevon – Lawyers Guns And Money 82.    ABC - Millionaire 83.    Ray Parker Junior – Ghostbusters 84.    Huey Lewis And The News – Hip To be Square 85.    Dizzee Rascal – Sirens 86.    The Simpsons – Do The Bartman 87.    Cutty Ranks – Rude Boy Number 88.    Tone Loc – Funky Cold Medina 89.    RZA ft Cilvarings  - You’ll Never Know 90.    LL Cool J – Roc The bells 91.    Big Pun – Who Is A Thug 92.    Lethal Bizzle – Babylon’s Burning The Ghetto 93.    Ghostface ft Jadakiss - Run 94.    The Rutts – Babylon’s Burning 95.    Elastica – Connection 96.    Akira The Don ft Why Lout?  - BOOM 97.    Dr Dre - Bang Bang 98.    Ill Bill – White Nigger 99.    Prince - Sexy MF 100.    Belle And Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister 101.    Andrew WK – It’s Time To Party 102.    Ice Cube - Good Day 103.    Large Professor – Hardcore Hip-hop 104.    EMF – Unbelievable 105.    Technotronic – Pump Up The Jam 106.    Wu-Tang – Wu-Tang Clan Aint Nothin’ Ta Fuck With 107.    Transvision Vamp - Baby I Dont care 108.    Gonzales - Futuristic Aint Shit To Me 109.    Salt n Pepa – Push it 110.    Warren G - Regulate 111.    Rick Ross – Speeding 112.    My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade 113.    Akira The Don - Ask Amanda palmer 114.    Young Jeezy ft R Kelly – Go Getta 115.    Q-Tip – Breathe And Stop 116.    Cyndi Lauper – True Colours 117.    Hanson – Mmm Bop 118.    Paul Simon – Diamonds on The Soles Of Her Shoes 119.    Eels – Grace Kelly’s Blues 120.    Nicholas Cage – Love Me Tender 121.    Akira The Don – Oobie Doo 122.    Mike And The Mechanics - St Elmo's Fire 123.    Tom Robinson Band  - 2468 Motorway 124.    L'trimm – The Cars That Go Boom 125.    ODB ft Kelis – Baby I Got Ya Money 126.    Nas – If I Ruled The World 127.    J Dilla – Nothing Like This 128.    Biz Markie – Turn Back The Hands Of Time 129.    Big Pun – So Hard 130.    Barry White – You See The Trouble With Me 131.    The Beach Boys – Wouldn’t It be Nice 132.    Journey – Don’t Stop Believing 133.    The offspring – Self Esteem 134.    MF Doom as King Geedorah – I Wonder 135.    The Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch 136.    Busted & McFly – Build Me Up Buttercup 137.    Cher – Believe 138.    U2 – With or Without You 139.    Jackson 5 – Can You Feel It 140.    Bob Marley – Buffalo Soldier 141.    Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Stronger 142.    Howard Jones – Like To Get To Know You Well 143.    The Proclaimers – 500 Miles 144.    The Beatles – Let it Be 145.    The Beatles  - Sgt Peppers Lonely Heartclub Band 146.    MC Hammer - Pray 147.    Aphex Twin – Come To Daddy 148.    Ice Cube – We be Clubbin 149.    Wham – Young Guns (Go For It) 12 inch remix 150.    A-Ha – Take On Me 151.    Super Furry Animals – If You Don’t Want Me To Destroy You 152.    Peaches – Fuck The Pain Away 153.    Pulp – This Is Hardcore 154.    Toto – Africa 155.    John Travolta and Olivia Newton John – Summer Loving 156.    DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince – Boom Shake The Room 157.    Tekken - Chaos 158.    Men At Work –  Down Under 159.    The Monkees - Daydream Believer 160.    Madonna – Like A Prayer 161.    Nas - Ether 162.    Robot Needs Oil – Volta 163.    Method Man and Redman – How High 164.    Blackstreet – No Diggity 165.    Digitalism – Jupiter’s Room 166.    Public Enemy – Bring The Noise 167.    Akira The Don – Thanks for All The AIDS 168.    Azzido Da Bass – Doomsnight 169.    Fat Man Scoop – Be Faithfull 170.    Wu-Tang Can – CREAM 171.    Akira The Don – I Don’t Hate The Beatles Anymore 172.    The Shamen – Move Any Mountain 173.    Akira The Don ft Envy – Nothing Lasts Forever 174.    The Streets – Has It Come To This 175.    Aretha Franklin - Pride (A Deeper Love) 176.    C & C Music Factory – Things That Make You Go Hmm 177.    Belinda Carlise - Heaven is A Place On Earth 178.    Grandmaster Flash – The Message 179.    Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me 180.    999 – Emergency 181.    George Clinton – Flashdance 182.    Motor - Sweatbox (Chris Liebing Remix) 183.    Meatloaf – Heaven can Wait 184.    Carter USM – After The Watershed 185.    Morrissey – Irish Blood 186.    Keith Harris And Orville – Orville’s Song 187.    The Bangles – Eternal Flame 188.    Chris de Burgh – Broken Wings 189.    Digitalism - Zdarlight (Bag Raiders Shout It All Out Mix) 190.    Digitalism - Zdarlight (Discodrome Remix) 191.    Nirvana – All Apologies 192.    Lil Wayne – Go DJ 193.    Pheonix – If I Ever Feel Better 194.    Envy - Lullabye 195.    Lil Kim – No Matter What People SaY 196.    Akira The Don – Jamie 197.    Guns N Roses – Sweet Child Of Mine 198.    SebastiAn - Greel 199.    Marvin – That One Time 200.    Dizzee Rascal – Stand Up Tall 201.    Littles – Ur Doe 202.    Usher ft Ludacris – Yeah 203.    Ghostface – Love Session 204.    Kool Keith – Drugs 205.    Gravediggaz – SUICIDE 206.    Birdman – 100 Million 207.    Usher ft Young Jeezy – Love In This Club 208.    The Pychedelic Furs  -Heaven 209.    Akira The Don – So Good 210.    Notorious BIG  - Who Shot Ya

1. Alice Cooper – Poison

2. KLF – 3AM Eternal

3. Jeff Wayne – War Of The Worlds

4. Mogwai – Mogwai Fear Satan

5. Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer

6. Gary Moore – Like Teardrops

7. New Order - True Faith

8. New Order - Blue Monday

9. Snap – The Power

10. Tag Team – Woomph (There it is)

11. Dead Prez - Hip-hop

12. MOP – Ante Up

13. Pharoe Monch - Simon Says

14. Reel 2 Real – I Like To Move It

15. Skee Lo - I Wish

16. Soul Brothers – The Groove

17. The Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls

18. The Smiths – This Charming Man

19. Leonard Cohen – A Thousand Kisses Deep

20. Extreme – Get The Funk out

21. Kiss – God Gave Rock N Roll To You

22. Akira The Don - Living In The Future

23. The Flying Pickets - Creep

24. A Tribe Called Quest - Can I kick it

25. Billy Joel – Anthony’s Song

26. Sultans of ping FC – Where’s Me Jumper

27. The Beastie Boys - Shame In Your Game

28. Jilted John – Going Steady

29. Kicks Like A Mule - The Bouncer

30. Busta Rhymes – Woo hah (Got You All In Check)

31. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

32. Prince Far I – Commandment Of Drugs

33. Prince - Get off

34. Beverly Craven – Promise Me

35. The Primitives - Crash

36. Aerosmith - Living On The Edge

37. Tori Amos – Past The Mission

38. Outkast & Slick Rick – Da Art of Storytelling

39. Envy – Set Yourself On Fire

40. Johny Cash – When The Man Comes Around

41. Van Morrisson – Jackie Wilson Said (I’m In Heaven When You Smile)

42. Max B – Never Wanna Go back

43. Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar babies

44. Menswe@r - Daydreamer

45. Gene – Olympian

46. James Brown – Funky Drummer

47. Geto Boys - The G Code

48. Soft cell - Tainted Love

49. The Beastie Boys - Body Movin

50. Wu-Tang Clan – Da Mytery Of Chessboxin’

51. Opus III – It’s A Fine Day

52. Michael Jackson - Rock With You

53. ODB – Shimmy Shimmy Ya

54. MF Doom – Super

55. Ministry – Jesus Built My Hotrod

56. Adam Green – Bluebirds

57. Billy Bragg – A New England

58. Alcoholics ft ODB - Hip-Hp Drunkies

59. Big Narstie - Back

60. Vainilla Ice - Ice Ice baby

61. Chris de Burgh – A Spaceman Came Travelling

62. Queen ft David Bowie – Under Pressure

63. Dead Prez - Police State

64. Alice Cooper – Clones

65. Tom Petty – Free Falling

66. The Human League - Human

67. Akira The Don ft Swiss - Rick Witter

68. Arab Strap - Kate Moss

69. Nick Cave – God Is in The House

70. PRML SCRM – Kill All Hippies

71. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill

72. Dre Dre - The Next Episode

73. Diana Ross – I Will Survive

74. Rick James – Flashdanbce

75. Jim Carrol Band – People Who Died

76. Bros – When Will I Be Famous

77. Damian Marley - Confrontation

78. Afrika Bamaataa & The Soul Sonic Force - Planet Rock

79. Sean Paul - Gimme The Light

80. Rick James – Hard To Get

81. Warren Zevon – Lawyers Guns And Money

82. ABC - Millionaire

83. Ray Parker Junior – Ghostbusters

84. Huey Lewis And The News – Hip To be Square

85. Dizzee Rascal – Sirens

86. The Simpsons – Do The Bartman

87. Cutty Ranks – Rude Boy Number

88. Tone Loc – Funky Cold Medina

89. RZA ft Cilvarings - You’ll Never Know

90. LL Cool J – Roc The bells

91. Big Pun – Who Is A Thug

92. Lethal Bizzle – Babylon’s Burning The Ghetto

93. Ghostface ft Jadakiss - Run

94. The Rutts – Babylon’s Burning

95. Elastica – Connection

96. Akira The Don ft Why Lout? - BOOM

97. Dr Dre - Bang Bang

98. Ill Bill – White Nigger

99. Prince - Sexy MF

100. Belle And Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister

101. Andrew WK – It’s Time To Party

102. Ice Cube - Good Day

103. Large Professor – Hardcore Hip-hop

104. EMF – Unbelievable

105. Technotronic – Pump Up The Jam

106. Wu-Tang – Wu-Tang Clan Aint Nothin’ Ta Fuck With

107. Transvision Vamp - Baby I Dont care

108. Gonzales - Futuristic Aint Shit To Me

109. Salt n Pepa – Push it

110. Warren G - Regulate

111. Rick Ross – Speeding

112. My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade

113. Akira The Don - Ask Amanda palmer

114. Young Jeezy ft R Kelly – Go Getta

115. Q-Tip – Breathe And Stop

116. Cyndi Lauper – True Colours

117. Hanson – Mmm Bop

118. Paul Simon – Diamonds on The Soles Of Her Shoes

119. Eels – Grace Kelly’s Blues

120. Nicholas Cage – Love Me Tender

121. Akira The Don – Oobie Doo

122. Mike And The Mechanics - St Elmo's Fire

123. Tom Robinson Band - 2468 Motorway

124. L'trimm – The Cars That Go Boom

125. ODB ft Kelis – Baby I Got Ya Money

126. Nas – If I Ruled The World

127. J Dilla – Nothing Like This

128. Biz Markie – Turn Back The Hands Of Time

129. Big Pun – So Hard

130. Barry White – You See The Trouble With Me

131. The Beach Boys – Wouldn’t It be Nice

132. Journey – Don’t Stop Believing

133. The offspring – Self Esteem

134. MF Doom as King Geedorah – I Wonder

135. The Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch

136. Busted & McFly – Build Me Up Buttercup

137. Cher – Believe

138. U2 – With or Without You

139. Jackson 5 – Can You Feel It

140. Bob Marley – Buffalo Soldier

141. Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Stronger

142. Howard Jones – Like To Get To Know You Well

143. The Proclaimers – 500 Miles

144. The Beatles – Let it Be

145. The Beatles - Sgt Peppers Lonely Heartclub Band

146. MC Hammer - Pray

147. Aphex Twin – Come To Daddy

148. Ice Cube – We be Clubbin

149. Wham – Young Guns (Go For It) 12 inch remix

150. A-Ha – Take On Me

151. Super Furry Animals – If You Don’t Want Me To Destroy You

152. Peaches – Fuck The Pain Away

153. Pulp – This Is Hardcore

154. Toto – Africa

155. John Travolta and Olivia Newton John – Summer Loving

156. DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince – Boom Shake The Room

157. Tekken - Chaos

158. Men At Work – Down Under

159. The Monkees - Daydream Believer

160. Madonna – Like A Prayer

161. Nas - Ether

162. Robot Needs Oil – Volta

163. Method Man and Redman – How High

164. Blackstreet – No Diggity

165. Digitalism – Jupiter’s Room

166. Public Enemy – Bring The Noise

167. Akira The Don – Thanks for All The AIDS

168. Azzido Da Bass – Doomsnight

169. Fat Man Scoop – Be Faithfull

170. Wu-Tang Can – CREAM

171. Akira The Don – I Don’t Hate The Beatles Anymore

172. The Shamen – Move Any Mountain

173. Akira The Don ft Envy – Nothing Lasts Forever

174. The Streets – Has It Come To This

175. Aretha Franklin - Pride (A Deeper Love)

176. C & C Music Factory – Things That Make You Go Hmm

177. Belinda Carlise - Heaven is A Place On Earth

178. Grandmaster Flash – The Message

179. Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me

180. 999 – Emergency

181. George Clinton – Flashdance

182. Motor - Sweatbox (Chris Liebing Remix)

183. Meatloaf – Heaven can Wait

184. Carter USM – After The Watershed

185. Morrissey – Irish Blood

186. Keith Harris And Orville – Orville’s Song

187. The Bangles – Eternal Flame

188. Chris de Burgh – Broken Wings

189. Digitalism - Zdarlight (Bag Raiders Shout It All Out Mix)

190. Digitalism - Zdarlight (Discodrome Remix)

191. Nirvana – All Apologies

192. Lil Wayne – Go DJ

193. Pheonix – If I Ever Feel Better

194. Envy - Lullabye

195. Lil Kim – No Matter What People SaY

196. Akira The Don – Jamie

197. Guns N Roses – Sweet Child Of Mine

198. SebastiAn - Greel

199. Marvin – That One Time

200. Dizzee Rascal – Stand Up Tall

201. Littles – Ur Doe

202. Usher ft Ludacris – Yeah

203. Ghostface – Love Session

204. Kool Keith – Drugs

205. Gravediggaz – SUICIDE

206. Birdman – 100 Million

207. Usher ft Young Jeezy – Love In This Club

208. The Pychedelic Furs -Heaven

209. Akira The Don – So Good

210. Notorious BIG - Who Shot Ya

Embrace The Singularity

Joey writes, concerningthe video above:

There's this spanish rave/dance trupoe called Crystal Fighters new video, I've seen 'em live there pretty good.

I saw their new video on some blog or other, I watched it.

I saw someone wearing a mask similar to the one we found on the train tracks. really similar. no wait. I'm pretty sure it's the same fucking mask.

That's weird... The video was obviously shot in hackney wick.

what do you guys think?

Hmm! I concur. IT's THE SAME FUCKING MASK! Check it out:

See?! A HA HA HA! WE GOT YOUR MASK CRYSTAL FIGHTERS! AHAHAHAHA!

So. Yeah. There you go. Over and out - I am too full of work and hangover to communicate properly. i read for a part in a new TV show yesterday and they plied me with comic books and wine. Swine!

Speaking of comcis, it seems that I am not the only human that thinks Ultimates 3 is the worst comic book ever written. Blimey!

Oh, and props to all you guys for suddenly deciding to post my STEAM video last night. Do you all read The Bad Librarian? Cos he's the only one I sent it to. Daps all around!

March Of The Sinister Ducks

Sinister Ducks 8pm and its still light. Wow.

Adam Walton played the title track off of The Omega Sanction on his show last night. Click here to listen back. No one's noticed the hook origin yet, which I am shocked by.

He also interviewed Pete Waterman, who is something of a SLEPT ON WIZARD... so check it out.

Other nice things to listen to:

Hunchbakk's latest forray into super ugly beatstuffs...

Dr Dre's Top 25 Productions, courtesy of Kevin Nottingham Dot Com

Sinister Ducks - March of The Sinister Ducks. Alan Moore on vocals. Cheers Luke Herr for the heads up...

So.

I got some really fucking horrible news on Friday. The Swine have robbed Littles of his freedom, for a completely inordinate amount of time. Dude's gonna appeal, so I'd thank you all to keep him in your most positive of thoughts, prayers, or whatever else you might wanna call them.