remix

Broke Art Arrives In Studio, Goliath Post Operation Commences

Good news! The Broke canvases arrived!

More good news! The Broke prints arrived!

And the CDs came in weeks ago!

That means I will be posting out all the Broke swag TODAY!

So go get your orders in before it's all gone as it is all ENTIRELY LIMITED.

If you want anything specific singing - or a specific area of the print signing, for that matter (I am defaukting to the back), send an email with your order and let me know.

Speaking of Broke, here's a special message from Gruff Rhys:

http://youtu.be/0oKl2NpRv5Y

Still speaking of Broke, Steve Lamacq played it on his BBC 6music show yesterday afternoon, so a great big high five for him. I recorded some radio drops yesterday too - if you're a DJ and you want some drops, holla.

The following messages came in via the channels requesting component parts for remixing and playing:

As ever, I aim to please, so here, brothers and sisters, is a link to the Broke splits. Flapsandwitch, you can remix the song to your content, and Spencer, you can remove the drums and add your own.

And here's a bunch of ATD acepallas that still needs an official home on the site:

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Evangelion ft Pixel & Marvin The Martian Acapella 140 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Fist of The North Star ft Littles Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Won’t Be Broke Forever Baby ft Gruff Rhys Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – I Am not Dead YEAH Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Nothing Lasts Forever ft Envy Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Video Highway Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Are Not Alone Acapella 125

 Meanwhile, I discovered a new and exciting subculture.

I was like, what's a brony? A Horse that likes chestbumps?

Turns out a brony is in fact a male human that likes My Little Pony cartoons, and expresses their love of the impressive artworks by making cool toys like this:

...and incredible dubs like this:

http://youtu.be/B1hETuP33r8

SHOUT OUT ALL BRONYS! YOU ARE DOING GREAT WORKS AND I AM PROIUD OF YOU!

Right, back to work. I have a lot of BROKE ART to post. The video's rendering now, byt the way. Aaron and I were up till 4 am finishing it, and it is a very beautiful thing indeed. Here's a still:

PAX!

Holly Sellors Is a Great Artist Huh?

No time to write anything brilliant and urgent today, despite the terrorist "Universal Music Group"'s continued reign of terror, as I am off to Camden to meet Stephen Hague and discuss my third album and a special project we might be working on, so it's lucky that Brighton based painter Holly Sellors sent me this beautiful work of art. Look at the beautiful work of art! Look at all those mes! It's called We're All Clones, I think. I particularly like the way all their heads start to resemble that Joy Division LP after a few seconds of gazing. Word to Mickey Mouse.

Oh, and I got this in the mail too:

Dear Akira The Don,

I love " Nothing Lasts Forever".......and after you posted the acapella (again....i missed it the first time !) ,i had to do the version thats been rattling around in head over the past few months. Have a listen mate....and if you ever want to take on the "Country Pop" demographic .....then it might be of some use : / ?? Peace...Respect....and keep doing what your doing,

A Fan,

Martin

Akira The Don ft. Envy - Nothing Lasts Forever (NY85 REMIX) by NY85

How about that then? At first I thought it wasn't going to work at all... yet somehow, it did... especially the rap parts. Thank you Martin.

And of course, if you want to try your hand at a remix, here's that list of acapellas I've been throwing up that still doesn't have an official home...

PAX!

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Evangelion ft Pixel & Marvin The Martian Acapella 140 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Fist of The North Star ft Littles Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Won’t Be Broke Forever Baby ft Gruff Rhys Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – I Am not Dead YEAH Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Nothing Lasts Forever ft Envy Acapella 105 DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – Video Highway Acapella DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don – We Are Not Alone Acapella 125

PS:

ADVENT 11: Wham! - Last Christmas (Chopped And Screwed by Akira The Don)

I might have mentioned this before and I might not, but Last Christmas by Wham! is definitely my favourite Christmas song. I have never, in all my years of being alive and hearing it 100 times a year gotten sick of it. How weird is that? Anyway, sometimes I sing it to myself all slow in my head, in a chopped and screwed fashion, and I heard it actually chopped and screwed in a dream the other night, so I decided that I was going to have to do it myself, in order ot make the dream a reality, which is what life is all about after all.

I find that slowing the record down and chopping at it, as is so often the case, brings out certain qualities in the song, amplifying the pathos and dragging the listener down with it.

Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/DMu43Wr_rJM

LAST CHANCE TO BUY A SWAG BAG!

That's right ladies and Gs! Today is your last chance to buy an Akira The Don Swag Bag! So go do that thing! Pow!

In other news, today is offcially the last day of the BABYDOLL REMIX COMP, but  since it's also my last day mixing Manga Music and I am not going to have time to judge it yet, you can have till Monday.

In other news, I am allergic to PLASTERS. How's I forget that?!

AMEN!

PS - here's a nice photo Peter took of me apparently giving the crowd a nazi salute at my wedding.

UPDATE! Babydoll Remix Competition!

Brothers and sisters!

UPDATE!

The BABYDOLL REMIX COMPETITION

is now being run with the aid of SOUNDCLOUD!

That means I need you to submit your entries via Soundcloud, where EVERYBODY WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR THEM! You now have until October 13th.

Below you will find links for the Babydoll "Assets", as they call them in the trade. There's acapella, drums, brass, synth, and all the stuff you could possibly need to make the awesomest remix known to man.

For those of you that use Logic, which as far as I know doesn't seem to have a mathematical way of measuring a tempo, like the humble Acid Pro DAW, the tempo is 131.792. One three one point seven nine two! What a great tempo! Now, there's no reason why you shoudn't amp that to, say, 140. or even 180. Whatever you think is The Righteous Path. But it's good to know where you starting from. If you don't know where you're from, how do you know where you're at? Well, you look around you, don't you. Yes you do.

But what will we WIN, I hear you cry. Well you win the RESPECT OF YOUR PEERS! But not only that (even though that is the greatest prize of all). I will be getting Stephen Hague to help me judge the entries, so you'll win the ear of a master. And I, Akira The Don, will edit a remixed version of the world famous Babydoll video to accompany the winning remix, and I will post it on my Youtube channel, as a response to the original Babydoll video, putting it front of the eyeballs and ears of thousands of eager humans! I will also post it here, my various social networks, and to my not insubstantial mailing list. It will also feature on a forthcoming Akira The Don mixtape. and as a final little cherry on the pie, the winner will also get an Akira The Don T-shirt.

BOOYA!

So, are you ready to remix brothers and sisters? You have until October 13th to complete your entry, and get it back to me.

Send us your sounds

Good luck brothers and sisters!

DOWNLOAD: Babydoll Remix Stems DOWNLOAD:  Babydoll Acapella

http://youtu.be/A5VzH9vuK_A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzu2mDkTBnw

What's In The Box?

Good day brothers and sisters. I am as happy as the proverbial sandboy because Christmas came early this morning and I got an AMAZING GIFT (bought for me by me, but a gift nontheless), and I have have spent a fine morning working on some music. It's a song from Stephen Hague and Claudia Brücken from Propaganda's forthcoming album, and I've been adding some drums and sound effects and extra bits of music to it. It sounds awesome. I mean, it sounded awesome anyway (it is my favourite song in the world this week), but now it's got me in it, so naturally it is even more awesome. I hope they like it.

Jack is coming round today which will be exciting as I haven't seen him since my wedding. We are  going to talk about the proposed Akira The Don tour I want to do later this year, and I am going to get him to show me some Logic tricks. I am really get into Logic, since Stephen gave me those lessons, but there is still so much to learn.

Gonzales says he'll show me how to use Protools if I like. I saw him last night in the Soho Theatre Bar, where he's doing a residency later this month, and I was drinking with my ole pals Jamie Danananana and David Authority, authors of that AAA pilot I was in a few years back. Gonazales texted to inform me he'd been Twitter stalking me, and was just around the corner, so he came down and we had burgers and discussed French Montana's most recent mixtapes and The Smith's Sweet And Tender Hooligan, which is Chilly's favourite Smiths song and is certainly in my top five. It occured to us that it is rare, and thus nice, to have a person you can talk about such things with. We argued for a little while about whether Morrissey sang "in the midst of life we are in debt" or "death" in Sweet And Tender Hooligan. Twitter informed us that it was in fact both.

Worried that our rap geekingout was alienating the rest of our company, Gonzales suggested a specialist knowledge challenge on any subject. "Buffy," said David. "Ah well," beamed Gonazales, beamishly. "You know the music? My brother did that."

Speaking of Gonzales, have you heard his Babydoll remix yet? HOLY CRAP!

http://youtu.be/A5VzH9vuK_A BABYDOLL REMIX COMPETITION!You have 2 (two) weeks to complete your entry

http://youtu.be/A5VzH9vuK_A

BABYDOLL REMIX COMPETITION!

You have 2 (two) weeks to complete your entry, and get it back to me. Send it to akirathedon at gmail.com with BABYDOLL REMIX as in the subject line.

DOWNLOAD: Babydoll Remix Stems: http://bit.ly/phCDWT
DOWNLOAD: Babydoll Acapella: http://bit.ly/okA5qw

Listen to Babydoll, and marvel at the beautiful sleeve: http://bit.ly/nQBMU0
Buy Babydoll on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/babydoll-ep/id465324833
Buy Babydoll MP3 bundle in Akira The Don’s Little Shop of Awesome:http://bit.ly/psSCnA
But the SUPER RARE CD: http://bit.ly/q152bH
Buy The Life Equation: http://bit.ly/kkgJjH

AKIRA THE DON

OFFICIAL: http://www.akirathedon.com
TWITTER; http://www.twitter.com/akirathedon
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Akira-The-Don/44945827732

The Tour The Tour, Day Seventeen: Bridgwater Or Bust, A Strange And Terrible Saga

The first thing I did was wake up at 8am still high off of Lars’ damn apple, and get in Set Dressing Tim’s Rapmobile and head into Manny central where I was to be a guest on Envy’s Unity FM radio show. We left Jack trying to make another zombie mixer. I suspected he would go back to bed. I would have.

I still had my Tom Waits voice when I got to the Unity studios. My Tom Waits voice tends to afflict me for three (3) hours after waking and before sleeping if I happen to be drinking whisky or smoking weed, add another hour if both. It’s a very pleasing thing, sonically, but it really does wear off, in the manner of the bubble shields in Sonic, or something, which can confuse those who are unaware of it’s nature as a Temporary Special Power. Today it started to wear off during the on air interview, which seemed to confuse the hell out of Envy’s co presenter, who really ought to be aware of such things, given he’s been in The Game for thirty odd years. Perhaps they don’t have weed and whiskey in the bit of Manchester he’s from.

Anyway. I had a lovely time, and after the interview Envy and I played pool, wherein I was shocked and ashamed to discover that we are both as bad as each other, which is really flipping bad. If we’d paid, we’d have got our money’s worth fifteen times over. And we’d have gotten in a fight with other people who were waiting to play.

Afterwards I wandered into town and did some work in the Starbuxx. I wasn’t doing too badly on my whole working while on tour thing. I was supposed to be designing characters for an iPhone game, and I had had some terrible Wacom tragedy,  which was troubling me somewhat, and I wasn’t managing to Blob Blog a great deal, and I wasn’t managing to keep up with all my Twitter requests at all, but apart from that, I really wasn’t doing too bad. I patted myself on the back (literally), and clattered away at my raptop while I waited for the boys to pick me up. Which, at around midday, they did.

Still buzzing from the triumph and glory of last night’s incredible show, Set Dressing Tim, DJ Jack Nimble and I, Akira The Don, did get into the rapmobile and aim south, for Summerset, and Bridgwater. It seemed a strange thing to do. We were playing the mighty, goliath, and excitingly SOLD OUT Slam Dunk festival in Leeds tomorrow. Leeds is only a 30 minute drive from Manchester. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, we were to drive four hours south, then back up again the next day. I knew nothing of Bridgwater. It must be a special place indeed to make such a detour. I was excited.

We spent a pleasant journey listening to MC Lars’s first album, and Jack, who was on the phone to Bristol lost property. We were still trying to track down the mixer and stuff that ended up on that train.

“It’s a black M Audio bag, with a  DJ mixer in it, and a load of audio cables,” he explained, patiently, to the human on the other end of the line. “And a cowbell. Yeah, a cowbell. Really. Yeah, seriously a cowbell.  Nah, nothing else. Oh yeah, a Lars Attacks T shirt. Yeah, DJ mixer. Vestax. Yeah, hip-hop. Oh really? Safe. Yeah, I appreciate that fam, that’s fine. OK. Well, either myself or my friend will call. If it does turn up that would seriously make my day. OK, thank you bruv. Nice to talk to you.”

There was a pause.

Then:

“FUCK OFFFFFFF!”

“Fucking techno DJ,” he concluded, grimly.

I wrote the Liverpool blog, until my battery ran out. We passed some farms. “Fucking hell Worcestershire you fucking STINK!” barked jack. He’s so not ill anymore.

We were racing along the fast lane on the motorway half an hour out of Bridgwater, 45 minutes from soundcheck, and I was halfway through some monologue about the nature of RA The Ruggedman’s flow when Tim suddenly, but calmly, informed us that the engine had stopped. We drifted elegantly through three lanes of traffic to the hard shoulder, where we rolled to a halt, the bonnet steaming ominously. Tim turned the key in the ignition.

“Chugga chugga pffff,” said the car, lamely. “Chugga chug pfffffffft.”

We got out of the car, and after some vain fiddling with the smoking engine, Tim called the AA. They said they’d be 50 minutes. We hung around on the verge, because Tim had seen too many cars on hard shoulders getting wiped out by other cars on Youtube, and whiled away the time in various ways. Tim invented a rock throwing game, wherein one had to throw a rock up the verge, and it had to roll down into the gutter. I was crap at it. Tim was remarkably cheeery for a man whose car (which he loved dearly) had just blown up.

I climbed the verge and took a piss up the top, looking down on the rubbernecking traffic that slowed down to stare at our party, hoping for some blood perhaps, or just confirmation that someone was doing worse than they. Which I suppose we were.

 

I cut my arm and my knee on the way down. It is to be expected.

Eventually some AA subcontracter showed. The belt was gone, the pistons were gone, the car was dead. Scrap. He towed us to the nearest MacDonalds, where we waited half an hour for another AA subcontractor to show up and drag us to Bridgwater. We were by this point way past soundcheck, and minutes away from stagetime. We rang ahead and they said they’d do their best to hold it back for us. The driver was, like his predecessor, a very nice man. He pointed out various Bridgwater landmarks as we entered the town. “That pub’s very rough,” he said. “And that’s the police station.”

The venue we were playing in was called Cherries. I wondered why and what sort of a place it might be. To have come all this way, it must be something special.

After some jiggery pokery with The Fucking Tomtom, which knows where it is about as often as I do, which is not very fucking often, we found Cherries, parked the dead car, and raced to the venue, where Science and JTL were waiting outside for us. This Cherries place, that we’d gone though proverbial Hell and High Water to reach, appeared to be…

A café.

A sweet, dinky little café.

We were pointed up some stairs, and wound our way up a few flights with our bags and record decks, WTFing amazedly at each other, and fell into a long thin room that looked like the sort of place one might hold an amateur dramatics rehearsal, or celebrate one’s auntie Vivian’s 60th birthday.  The place appeared to be mainly populated with deeply hormonal children. About thirty of them. There were also a couple of fourty something longhairs hanging around, from whom some of the children appeared to be stealing sips of beer. MC Kal and a flustered looking Lars manned the merch table, which looked like something from a jumble sale. I recognised the friendly faces of Slinky and James from the Swindon and Exter gigs, which cheered me. They'd bought us a chocolate hedgehog.

We made our way through the tittering, hormonal throng to the Performance Area, which was basically the back of a room with some sort of aluminum barrier set up to differentiate between the Audience Area and the aforementioned  Performance Area. We were greeted by a thankfully non-hostile soundman who later told Jack he was usually a glazer.

We were by this point half an hour late for our set, so we got our equipment and our merch set up (with the help of our friends from those aforementioned gigs) in ten minutes, and got our asses on stage. Well, on the bit of floor divided up with an aluminium barrier. We were greeted by a front row of amused looking teenage girls and boys, who giggled and whispered with each other for much of our set. Shit was intense, bubba. We gave it all we could. We didn’t come all this way to flake out now. And we are motherfucking pro-fesh-un-ALLs, after all. Soon enough, they got into it. They sang “WE WON’T BE BROKE! WE WON’T BE BROKE!’ with amused abandon. And they sure did enjoy their sing-along of Thanks For All The AIDS. I mean, who wouldn’t?

http://youtu.be/sLBqWqqViHI

Lars joined us for a final run through LITF 2.5. The stool I was sat on at the start collapsed. It was joyful.

http://youtu.be/mpsIFYJXybA

Like I usually do after a show on this here tour, I headed to the merch table, wherein one of the girls who’d been digging our set the most ran straight over, and started poking at the CDs. “Ooh, that one’s cool,” she said, fingering at Thieving. “What free stuff have you got?” I gave her a postcard. “Oh, thanks a lot,” she snapped sarcastically.

A clatter of click-clacks, a cloud of perfume and I was suddenly besieged by a crèche of teenage girls who descended upon my stall like a great hormonal thundercloud and proceeded to attempt to steal things and have a food fight with my Doritos dipping sauce for about half an hour. One of them, more self assured and industrious than the others, attempted to convince me that she was a beatboxer and breakdancer, and that she should be allowed onstage, and I should give her some of my drink. I agreed with the former idea, and disagreed with the latter. “But I’m eighteen in three weeks!” she wailed, not entirely convincingly. She attempted to demonstrate her worldly wisdom by explaining to one of her friends who were confused by my posters what “hemisphere” meant, in a very loud voice. “See,” she beamed. “I know what I’m taking about.” I gave her a high five.

An inappropriate ejaculation/acne of teenage boys lounged spread-legged to the right of the jumble sale/merch stall, ignoring the music and occasionally calling for the girls to come join them. “We’ve got MDMA!” shouted one. “I don’t CARE,” replied one of the girls, through braces caked with Doritos dipping sauce. The boy threw a chair at her. “Calm down son,” warned the doorman. “Fuck off twat,” chirped the boy, dismissively, then threw another chair at one of his friends.

Half way through Chris’ set and I had signed about 6 MC Lars T shirts, a number of Akira The Don posters and a couple of arms, but had sold precisely nothing, except a couple of hoodies for MC Lars while MC Kal was busy chatting up the alleged beatboxer and breakdancer, who didn’t believe for a second that he was 21. “You look 16,” she said, to his visible disgust. It dawned on me that none of the point of sale items mentioned the price of the posters. I put a “£1!” sign on the pile of posters. As if by magic, a queue of small boys formed. They knocked a centimeter or so off the height of my poster stack, and wandered off to shout obscenities at MC Chris. The girls returned to try and steal sweets and Doritos dipping sauce. “Come dance with me,” demanded the alleged breakdancer, repeatedly. “I must man my stall,” I replied. “I am a professional.”

She turned her attention to Tim.

“No, said Tim. “You are trouble. MC Chris has a song about you. Jack will dance with you.” They skipped off happily to pester Jack, stopping along the way to cadge a drink off of one of 40 something metal dudes.

I was soon approached by a trio of children. “Did you enjoy the show?” I asked. “Meh,” they replied in unison. “can you buy us a drink?”

I sent them packing.

Considering it was the last night we were all together, it was somewhat anticlimatic. Chris made it through his set just about alive, and Lars and Science did an admirable job of cranking the assembled into something approaching if not a frenzy, certainly a merry state of near-joy. I took the opportunity to stay on stage following my final, emotional appearance on White Kids Aren’t Hyphy to kotch next to JTL’s drum stool and watch him smash the shit out of Science’s mighty Conspiracy Theories With Mel Gibson. He’d started doing this fucking amazing thing where he shadowed Science’s machine gun second verse crescendo on the toms. Shit was fucking fire, son. I'm gonna miss JTL.

It was a fun night though, all in all. We met laughed, we nearly cried, we hung out with some mental, some funny and some safe people. But the assembled children were never going to cover the cost of our motorway sandwiches, let alone our petrol, our Travelodge, and Tim’s poor dead car. We counted our pennies, packed our boxes, and stepped out into the night. It was cool, and still. MC Chris bade Jack a final, fond farewell, half-smiled and waved regally at me, and in a puff of exhaust smoke, The Lars troupe disappeared off into the night, where they were to be staying at Tour Managing Ryan’s Mum’s house, which was conveniently close. I dug into my Gmail account to discover the location of our next Travelodge.

It was in Bristol.

No trains, no car, and a hundred-plus-quid taxi journey away.

I might have said “fuck” at least a dozen times.

Phones were worked. There was no room in the (Premier) Inn. Or the Travelodge. Or the B & B. Tim disappeared off into the night, and returned a little while later with news of lodgings, in a pub, a snip at just 65 earth pounds. We trudged, wearily, through Bridgwater’s narrow streets, and soon we saw the inviting Manchester United Flags of the Blake Arms, flapping flaccidly in the cool night air.

 

Queen records blared through creaking, peaking PA speakers as we made our way through a Viagra of middle-aged revelers. We seemed to have happened upon some frenzied wife swapping party. There was not a soul under the age of fourty seven in the room, not a full male head of hair in the building, not an un-dyed female bonnet in the place, and not a dry eye in the house. They glared at us though hooded eyeslits, and we elected to avoid the nightcap proposed prior to entry, and hurried up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire, as my Granddad used to say. He used to call slippers beetlecrushers as well, and he had some pretty awesome sailor tattoos. I loved my Granddad.

On Twitter and Facebook, people were full of sympathy for our plight. One safe young lady called Cha Cha Gabor, who I’d put on the guest list for the Nottingham gig after she’d tweeted about how much she’d love to go if only she only had the money had even offered to drive down to Bridgwater in the middle of the night to pick us up and take us to our next destination!

But we had no need for such kindness. We laid down our weary heads safe in the knowledge that at nine am the following morning, we would be picking up a hire car pre-arranged by Tim earlier in the day, and making our merry way back up the motorway to play the legendary Slam Dunk Festival in Leeds. I couldn’t wait.

As my eyelids fluttered, faltered, and finally closed, I pondered the unfathomable insanity of our strange, unexplained, 207 mile detour. What a long, mad day it had been. Soon enough, I succumbed to sweet, sweet slumber.

 

Big up me, Tim, Jack, and Slinky for the photos. Thanks Slinky for the video footage. This blog is dedicated to the couple whose wedding Tour Managing Ryan attended not far from Bridgwater the next day. May you live long and prosper.

The Tour The Tour Day Seven: Cardiff Pleasures, There Are Some

Day Seven of The Tour The Tour got off to a cracking start when, after changing trains at Bristol en route from Exeter to Cardiff, we realised that Jack's mixer was still on the train, in my Motu Music Bag, along with all our leads and my Lars Attacks T-Shirt.

Frantic phonecalls revealed it to be on its way to Manchester.

"Can I not leave you guys for 1 day alone?!" asked Drift Race Car Driver Damien on facebook. ":'(FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Which was a good point. But really, dear reader, you try lugging a load of equipement from city to city on a daily basis and keep track of it all. Shit is hard. It's not like figgas are on holiday out here. Not only are we tourmanaging ourselves, not only are we entertaining the masses at the hardest point of the evening (when nobody's drunk yet) on a daily basis, not only are we selling out own merch, setting up our own merch stand, and so on and so on, but I for one am still having to do all the stuff I'd normally be doing if I was back in Don Studios! I've got an album out this week! I've got videos to sort! An inbox to bomb! I've got employee's asses to kick! It's intense out here!

Oh, but it's fun, dear reader. So much fun. We're like a family out here right now. These dudes are my brothers. They're all invited to my wedding.

Naturally, it was raining when we got to Cardiff. It's been sunny for the whole tour pretty much, but it would have been weird to get out of Wales dry, and I don't need anymore weird right now, so I am thankful. I have never played Clwb Ifor back before, weirdly enough, despite having done about a dozen gigs in Cardiff, and the place was very clean and had no stage, which lead to me clambering ontop of tables during my set. As if I need an excuse. Jack was trapped behind some bulletproof glass, or what looked like bulletproof glass, as he was at the mercy of the in house decks thanks to our unhappy train misshap, but he held that shit the fuck down like a G.

We saw Martin and Mary before we went onstage. And their little boy Sonny. And their little girl Cher. Cher is still in mummy's tummy, but she won't be for long. Jack and I noted later on how much we love those two, and how rarely we see them, and how great it always is. Sadly, they couldn't stay for the gig, as they had tickets for Mike And The Mechanics round the corner. At least they weren't watching the doomed Cardiff game, like so many people who hit me up to apologise and weep about how they wished they'd been to the gig instead of watching that miserable performance. Serves them right I say. What did they expect? At least you know you're guaranteed an awesome night if you come out to The Tour The Tour.

Me, I climbed tables like I told you already, and walked through the audience high-fiving everybody and it was flipping ACE, and then I spent the rest of the night dancing behind the merch stand, where I beat David and Damian's record on Saturday. WE ARE IN THE BLACK! (That does mean credit, right?) Which is amazing for an opening act on such a tour. So thank you to everybody that's been hanging out with me after shows taking photos and doing fist bumps and buying T-shirts and CDs and stuff, you are keeping this dream alive and I love you forever.

Speaking of which, we have a brand new shirt, screen printed lovingly by a Real Welshman and dropped off in Cardiff, and they look like this:

Le swag! Cheers Carla for the picture.

So, yeah, awesome night. Possibly Lars and Science's best performance yet as well. The sound was great. I went crazy up at the merch stand, and i went crazy when they bought me on to to do Falling Apart. "AAAAARGGGGGGGH!" I screamed at the end.

The other amazing thing about the Cardiff Day, was it was the day that Weerd Science's album came out. Have you listened to that shit yet? One of the albums of the year. That dude's flow is on some fucking post-Pun shit, it is so flipping choice. I congratulated dude onstage and he looked all bashful, but he knows he's the shit really.

And to cap off a great day, Jack's gigantium brothers (and their buddy Marco) showed up right at the end and scared the crap out of the Americans, all jolly with tales of Cardiff Pleasures, of which There most certainly Are Some. Shout out my ole mate Baz Boobytrap, who wrote a song with that as a title, and who missed the gig cos he as watching some crappy footaball game. HA! What did you learn?

Anyway, right now I am sat in a Starbucks writing this and getting emotionally psyched for tonight's show in Leicester. My inbox is terrorful but I am making headway. We just set up a Facebook page for the LIFE EQUATION LAUNCH PARTY that's happening in London On June 2nd. Me! Stephen Hague! Eddy Temple-Morris! Envy! Marvin The Martian! Big Narstie! littles! Pixel! DJ Jack Nimble! The Indelicates! AND MORE TO BE ANNOUNCED! We're gonna be filming the whole thing and making a movie with it. It's gonna be legendary. The FB is here, and you can get your tickets here. BE WISE AND DO THAT THING NOW!

Oh, and look what else I found in my inbox!

Hey man,

I really enjoyed your gig in Cardiff a couple of days back. I was half way through writing a beat and I came across this acapella on your website, so I thought I'd run with it. Let me know what you think of it man, and make sure you get back to Cardiff soon!

Stay chill.

Alex

Check that out below. Thank you Alex, that shit is dope. AND it's reminded me that I need to release the acapellas for, well, everything I've released this year. I'll do that when I get home.

PAX!

Akira The Don - Be Brave (Scuzzy89 's Oldskool Remix) by Big Narstie

LISTEN: Si Cranstoun - Dynamo (Akira The Don Remix ft Iron Braydz)

Jamie Dananananana and Si Cranstoun on Don Studios' Sofa during the recording
of the Dynamo remix

Si Cranstoun ft Iron Braydz - Dynamo (Akira The Don Remix) by Cannonball_PR

First off, I can't post this in the gigs section yet cos I can't have more than one gig at any one time without the site breaking (Zeeeeeeef!) but you need to know cos it's in a month:

I AM PLAYING A BRITISH FESTIVAL!

Early evening slot, Saturday. Welsh border. Magic Numbers are playing too. It is gonna be a really beautiful thing, and I'd love for you ALL to come. Details are here.

OK. You coming or what?!

Second, as promised yesterday, up top there is my remix of Si Cranstoun's Dynamo. Enjoy, I did. And do. Shit goes bump in the day AND the night. It's out later this month, I believe. Si's the guy on the right with the excellent tan, and the dude on the left is my ole pal Jamie Dananananananana-NAN, sometime PR, record label boss, and script writer - he had a hand in that AAA pilot I was involved in. I can't find the pictures I took of Mr Braydz, but you can see some, and hear his music, here.

In other news, I am happy to say that I know more about giraffes right now than I did when I woke up, and its all thanks to Twitter. Today I learned that giraffes communicate on a frequency lower than our human ears can register. AND that 93% of giraffes indulge in gay orgies. Thanks internets, for giving me fresh wisdom daily! I have also seen Jamie Oliver's head spray painted on an X-Box, loads of alternative Wonder Woman costume designs that are all better than the stupid new one, and I heard this ace song in a Sonic The Hedgehog advert. PLUS I emailed lots of journalists and packaged up lots of T shirts and I am off to the post office with them now. I am running seriously low on stock on everything right now. There's only, like, 5 pairs of Don Shoes left, 4 iANDY Ts, 8 Security Ts... I am going to have to do a proper stock count. And do some new Ts and stuff. I have never done a yellow T shirt, have I? Maybe we need one of those. What other sort of stuff do you want?

EDIT: What a palava! So, I cycled to the Post Office in the Heaving Mugg, which was a little like cycling through water, if water was a lot more dense, wherein I was greeted by a Line, as my American friends say, snaking out the door and down the pavement. I enjoyed a 26 minute queue (what a crazy word to have to spell that is!), most of that spent in a two foot wide isle made of stacked up detergent boxes and canned fruit, during which time I met a baby, who was a very polite for a baby, in that she gurgled appreciation when I fanned her with a receipt I found on top of a box of cereal on the top shelf. So thankful was she, in fact, that she let out a mighty trump, so we all had something more interesting and fruity than washing powder to smell. And not only did we, The Brave Queue Of Hommerton have fine fruity scents to breathe in, but we were serenaded by a loud, tanned man in wrap around shades and fatigues, who barked such wisdoms as, "they have mosques AND churches in Poland!" and "how many oranges could you eat before you made a big Orange sick puddle like a monkey?" to all and sundry.

Indeed, they more we ignored him, the louder he got - I say "they" because I smiled at him a few times. "Don't encourage him!" cried the lady behind the counter. "The devil will never be good!" replied Tanned-shades Man, enigmatically.

Actually, I recorded a bit of him with my telephone. Check him out:

Yeah, he was great. Anyway, when I tried to pay for my Voluptuous Parcels, my card was declined, so I had to cycle home to get my other card and back again at top speed. In such a rush was I that I dropped half my bike lock, key and all, through the big metal gate it was tied to. No, I couldn't reach it. No, I couldn't climb it - for it was too tall, and there was nothing to grip. So I spent 20 odd minutes walking around and around this block, trying to find an entrance to back of this big ass gate. It turned out I'd dropped my keys into the back garden of the local Outreach Centre, and they didn't take too fondly to me breaking their trellis and climbing all over their roof trying to get into their back garden. Problem was, they didn't have any access to the back garden bit, had no back door, and their windows only opened 2 inches because it's a bloody Outreach Centre full of suicidal people - although the ones I met were all ever so nice and smiley, and very helpful also, apart from the one old lady who clawed at my arm with a hand like Freddie's and hissed something about "inappropriate shorts" at me.

Eventually I was saved by a forlorn and stressed looking Rastafarian, who said he could help me just as soon as he'd sorted out some business. Turns out the business was dealing with a lady who'd illegally parked in the staff car park and gotten herself a clamp, which he did with admirable tact and aplomb. Then he strode through the Lodge's doors, and returned ten minutes later with my bike lock and key, and the same sad, pained expression. I almost hugged him, then stopped myself, then felt bad about it half the way home, until two crazy little white girls with braces ran out in front of me waving fistfuls of sherbet tubes and liquorice bootlaces screaming what sounded like aboriginal war chants and nearly made me swerve into a lorry.

THE END.

I, Dynomatica

pekar OK, what was that? Oh, yeah! Yes, you are RIGHT, I DO need to be updating this EVERY DAY like I said I would in January! You're RIGHT! And I know, the site IS broken in that you can't navigate past the first page with the next page button and has been that way for ages and that is really ANNOYING and UNFAIR!

You see, those two things are, unfortunately enough, LINKED... because the problem I have right now is that if I post something on the main blog every day, in a week its off the frontpage, and therefore pretty much gone. And some stuff you want to hang around a bit, cos it's cool. That's why I created the Blob Blog in the first place - so I could post all those songs and videos and articles without wiping out my own lovingly crafted Premium Content out of existence. Of course, what has happened is that my main blog posts dont have too many links and things in them. And I bet there's a whole bunch of you that haven't even noticed the Blob Blog!

Well, all this was supposed to have been resolved about a year ago by akirathedon 5.0, but little Zef is taking his sweet ass time with that and we are all suffering as a result. I mean, you're RIGHT, dear reader, akirathedon.com is supposed to be the BEST ARTISTS' WEBSITE IN THE WORLD... and it certainly is a damn site better than pretty much every artists' site I can think of right now... but it certainly is NOT anywhere close to what it should be, and frankly, I am embarrassed by it (almost as much as the photos of me that pop up when you google image search me. How does one "fix" those rotten results?!).

Still, I have just upped the accapella, instrumental and clean versions of Nah Nah Nah ft. Gonzales. It's not like I'm sat on my ass watching The Daily Show or anything (RIP NinjaVideo, we pray for a resurrection). I stay busy like ants, baby. Indeed I do. But I do think that Nazi discipline needs to get reinstated. I need to finish that comic strip and get back into regular cartoonism. I need to be dropping something WORTHWHILE on this mainblog every day. I need to be getting the Doncast up as soon as its finished. I need to answer email quicker. I need to get my Twitter game back up.

Anything else? Do let me know where you think I'm slipping. I don't mind. You can be harsh.

Anyway. The gym is going well, thank you. That it forces me to cycle for over an hour most days makes it worthwhile, and I like hanging out with Jeres on the Jesus Machines and watching the Polish dudes going mental on the barbells. Speaking of which, Jeres and I had a wee rehearsal on Sunday for this gig we're doing on Friday, which was pretty sweet. We're having another few before the gig, as we wish to be Competent, and Well Rehearsed, and Tight, like a dickinthebutt (word to Nicki Minaj), which sounds like an archaic children's toy or something now I come to think of it. Dickinabutt that is. I can hear the theme song and everything. "Dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt!" Damn, what a joy to say that word is! Dickinabut! Whoo!

Hmm. I was supposed to be doing more Writing round these parts, wasn't I? Never mind. Check back tomorrow and we'll see what we can do. In the meantime, wrap your eyeballs around this video I did for Si Cranstoun's Dynamo, which is Out Soon. I'll drop the remix I did tomorrow. OK? Yeah? really? Aw, shucks, you guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFCsAajjHXk

Dynamo!

Photos by Charlotte Whewell

Hey yo!

Sorry I haven't been speaking to you on this beautiful frontpage for a few days. I HAVE been updating the Blob Blog (go see, there be jewels), but I haven't been able to find the time to compose myself enough to hit this section in the appropriate manner. It has been a flurry of activity. Weddings, babies, and the inevitable opposite. You'll never walk alone. Life is beautiful and tragic all day every day.

What did I learn? I learned that toddlers love glove puppets, and they love bananas, and if you combine the two, you have Child Entertainment DYNAMITE. But we all knew that already, right?

I went to a wedding, where I saw the bride belly dancing, and her groom swinging flaming dog leads around his head. What a family they will make. They laid on fire lanterns for us to ignite, and I got mine off first! I am really good at fire. It proudly lead a whole pack of the wondrous things on their journey across London. Oh, to be in a balloon! Yeah, that's gonna be ace.

Anyway. Aside from all that sort of thing I have been Working. I stayed up all last night working on my remix of Si Cranstoun's awesome Dynamo. My remix takes shit back to school. Si and Iron Braydz are in the building right now re-vocalling my new beat. Braidz was telling me about how RZA showed his how to use an MPC. That is serious annecdotage right there. RZA told me a little about Mathematics, but I wish to Baby Jesus and all the orphans he'd showed me how to use an MPC. Imagine! Oh my DAYS!

Braidz also just did a track with Sean Price and M1 from dead prez. I can't wait to hear that shit.

Anyway. I am really enjoying making this thing. My beat is nuts and Braidz verse is off the deli counter. Check the OG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOFsFs7bnjw

Now, think of the vibe I bought to remixes like Bare Necessities and The Joint. YES IT IS THAT KIND OF DOPE!

Elsewhere, I am starting to get really excited/nervous about ATD24, which kicks off at 3am on June 23rd. As previously announced, I will be recording my next mixtape in 24 hours, and broadcasting the whole process LIVE. We are now $84.59 away from our target of $298 to buy the Ustream Pro thing so we can broadcast with multiple cameras in HD and do transitions and shit and make it a flipping SHOW! EDIT: Bloody VAT! We need an extra 17.5%! BLAST!

Click button!

Or you can send money via paypal to zillazillazilla at gmail.com.

OK! Back to the lab. I might update this text with something else when I get a second, I feel it is missing something. Aside from all that, holla at me with your thoughts about what you'd like to see on ATD24. I'm gonna try and encapsulate the whole ATD Mixtape experience in 24 hours. What's an ATD mixtape mean to you? What do you wanna see the behind-the-scenes of? What's gotta be on there?

Let me know!

Peace and love brothers and sisters!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDMHfs3yd4

This drop is dedicated to Great Uncle Derreck, may he Rest In Awesome. He really and truly was Great, and I feel honoured to have hung out with him and shared in the generous bounty of his cigarettes, and his memories.

Dan le Sac VS Scroobius Pip - Great Britain (Akira The Don VS Joey2tits Remix)

Well, I know there's a bunch of you that have been looking forward to this. It's been out for a few days, but I ain't mentioned it. I was wondering if I'd get called out, and lo I did, via email, from the ever vigilant Glen, who wrote:

one thing you seem to have let slip past us is the Dan Le Sac vs Scroob release!! i was pondering it on Saturday night since i hadn't heard much mention of it recently and thought i'd have a lil search and found that it was on sale from Sunday, needless to say i bought it and love it!

Cheers Glenn! Hell yeah it's dope! So dope I felt I needed to take an afternoon out to draw a sleeve for it. So I have. And that is it. Up top. Neat, non? Well, I dig it. Cos it was done between the Superhero Music and Street Fighter periods of Don Activity, the art reflects that - it references the Marvel VS Capcom games in its layout, anyway.

Nice!

I said that in a Joey2tits voice. You ever heard dude say "nice"? It's a thing to behold, really it is.

ANYWAY! To celebrate this happy union, I got Dan le Sac to judge last week's caption competition. I promised you a minor celebrity! And I have delivered a minor celebrity! See how I come through for you!

So, without further ado, let's get into that business.

THE WINNER OF THE CAPTION COMPETITION, AS DECIDED BY MINOR CELEBRITY AND SUPERSTAR RECORD PRODUCER DAN LE SAC, OF WORLD FAMOUS POPULAR RAPPER/PRODUCER COMBO DAN LE SAC VS SCROOBIUS PIP IS....

(drum roll)

.

.

.

.

MELO! With:

"It wins," explains Dan, "because it's true."

I don't know if my girl's Mum, pictured, would agree with you, but there you go. The judge's decision is final! MELO IS THE WINNER!

Well done Melo! Dan has deemed you KING OF WIN! Email me your address and a prize shall be yours!

We also have some runners up.

Runner Up 1: alexandervelky: "Not pictured: stepladder." "Because alexandervelky is clearly my dad is disguise or at least the guy who ghostwrites my dad gags," says Dan. This is funny because alexandervelky is, in reality, my brother. His sense of humour is cruel and ancient and stolen, in part, from our Dad.

Runner Up 2 - Raydome : "The all new ATD portable holiday head, buy one now, and make your holiday Dontastic"

"Seriously this could work," says Dan, "dragging rappers heads around on holiday is a dope idea, you can never find any decent hip-hop on ya hols."

Did I mention that all I heard music-wise in Malta was N-Dubz, Tinie Tempah and Jay-Z? That Jay-Z featuring Mr Hudson travesty as well. That shit is eerie, bubba.

ANYWAY! Thank you Dr Le Sac, for judging this month's caption contest. However, since Alex is related to me, he's going to have to be disqualified, or at least sidelined, so I am bringing in another runner up.

Runner Up 3: jonzee: "Akira the Wall creeps up unnoticed on yet another victim"

Because it made me LOL Out Loud, which is pretty much a double LOL, and thus a win. Applause all round then! You're all winners!

And thank you again to our special guest judge, dan le sac. For the duration of this blog post I have been unsure as to whether he capitalises the "le" or not, and a quick Google just now reveals that he tends not to capitalise at all, like dead prez. But I am not going to go back and change all the previous attempts, for the sake of purity.

OK!

Rah though, if you thought that was the last you were gonna see of duke round these parts, think again! Cos we did a remix SWAP! Which means you have yet to hear what duke did for me! EXCITE!

In other exciting celebrity news, I got retweeted by world famous wrestler Gregory "Hurricane! Helms today. Dunno how that happened. He was amused by the following, which I found at Dangerous Minds:

He then DMed me to apologise for all the RTs flooding my timeline. What a gent!

If only mixed martial arts fighters were as nice as wrestlers. Shudder.

Elsewhere on the Don Related Interwebs, my new best buddies at Hype Machine Radio in New York did a dope piece on our DOMINATION of their chart last week (which I intent to sample the HELL out of). They even spoke to or ole buddy Neil from Music Like Dirt! Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out!

#19 Hype Machine Radio Show (June 2010) by hypem

OK then! That is enough for one post. This has been epic. I hope you enjoyed it. I will be back at 5pm UK time with THE DONCAST, but in the meanwhile, I'm gonna hand over to our friends Ms Liz A Crunch and JJ Fabulous, who have been ATD Beach Tagging in El Pescador. Big up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMvfMM8hS2g

I'm Not A Troll

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdZzysUG1IY

Akira The Don VS Richie Beretta – I’m Not A Troll ft. CopperCab From ATD20 Jan 29th 2010.

BLAOW.

Shout out Richie Beretta, who I'd never heard of before this, and who it transpired was a fan of my music, and who's own brilliant music gave me a canvas on which to paint CopperCab's righteous anger. Shout out the blog I heard it on - the bookmark for which I lots in last week's crash. Shout out Example, via whom I found CopperCab. And shout out CopperCab, who doesn't understand why he's getting crap at school and on the internets, just for having red hair.

Ah, but it's not just because he has red hair, is it? It's because when he gets teased, he answers back. It's the answering back that really gets people's backs up. If he kept his mouth shut, and his head down, people would quickly get bored, and more onto the next one. Not that he wouldn't always have to endure a certain level of abuse, just for being... because he would. So it goes. But his refusal to just accept that is what makes him a marked man. So big up to you, CopperCab. Your voice is strong and clear - it was a joy to play with.

ATD20 – The Mixtape

Get the CDQ MP3 bundle here.

Get the MP3 + T-Shirt here.

Bare Necessities 2!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k37_-aNv2pw Well, it's 4:24am and I'm still reinstalling stuff after today's freakout, oh the joy, which means my song-a-day plus comic plan has had a spanner lobbed in it. No fear though - Bare Necessities will just have to last two days, and the ATD20 focus can run through 'till Saturday. Ha! I have the skills! Eat that disruptive forces! You can't knock my hustle! I am an awesome daily content MACHINE!

Aw man, I have the best comic strip for this sketched out as well. Hopefully I can wake up early, and Manga Studio's downloaded, so I can ink it, before I rewrite the Sac VS Pip remix I lost in that horrible aforementioned incident. MACHINE I TOLD YERS!

Sleepy machine.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Bare Necessities

Akira The Don - Bare Necessities ft Jay-Z and Dizzee Rascal FIrst dropped: Jan 29th 2010, on ATD20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k37_-aNv2pw

YEYAH!

This one goes out to Eloise in Thailand, who is ten years old and an AMAZING DRAWER (as in person who draws, not something you put your T Shirts in, don't be stupid!) - she sent me this today:

How awesome is that!? WOW! MEGA AWESOME, I would say, and I would be interested to hear what you art critics think.

Yessir. I have been meaning to do a remix of Bare Necessities for about 5 years, and I was so happy when I finally got around to doing it that I literally ran around in circles whooping. IT MADE ME THAT HAPPY! Jay-Z and Dizzee Rascal were the icing on on the sticky bun. Sticky buns, in case you were wondering,  were the number one treat back in Lower Friars, the first stage of my secondary schooling... at first break you could get stale buns with icing on them from the canteen for 20p. Oh how we loved those sticky sweet things!

Anyway, I did want to make a nice bootleg video for this, but I haven't had time today, between packaging t-shirts (only 2 1 don shirts left!), working on my Sac VS Pip remix, shooting a video with Joey2tits AKA The Ambassador of Awesome and doing this flipping cartoon. Gah! I wish I'd had time, dear reader! But now I must make like that last panel, for it is 4am, and I have many things tomorrow, not least of all THE ALL NEW WEEKLY DONCAST!

That's right! It's that time of week again! BE HERE AT 5PM GMT for the live spectacular! I have no idea what I'm gonna be doing, but I know one thing - WE ARE GONNA HAVE FUN! YES WE ARE! But if you have any great ideas, I would love to hear them. Oh, and there are only three more days of FOCUSING ON ATD20... what song do you want singling out? TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW!

PAX!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

ATD20.

Get the CDQ MP3 bundle here.

Get the MP3 + T-Shirt here.