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Akira The Don VS Chilly Gonzales: A Game Of Chess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gEqbZsPszs Remember the other week I said Chilly was coming round to play a game of chess? Well, here's the proof. Now, Dear Darling Joey neglected to put any of my really ILL moves in the video, but you should know that first blood was MINE, as was second, third, fourth, etc, and shit was looking pretty good for me for the whole first hour of the game. My defence soon crumbled after that, mind, and that Canadian swine toyed with me, as a cat might a mouse, for the last 15 minutes. At which point I had the brilliant idea of challenging him to a game of Street Fighter. Tragically my second controller ran out of battery, so the true whupping could not be administered... but you just wait. I went out and bought one of those controller chargers for £6.99 (you got £5 off it you bought an England Football team plastic figure for 5p), and next time that great big hairy Jewlord is in the building I am gonna clean his clock.

Shout out The Quietus!

Anyway. Today is kind of funky. I am doing more metadata. As you know, I recently got my entire back catalogue back, so its been taken down from the whole of the internet, and re-upped via my new label and distributor. I am also upping every single song I have ever done individually into my shop, and onto Soundcloud. Shit is REAL out here bubba. This afternoon I'm mixing ish for that compilation I asked you all about, and ATD25. It is not too late to sound of about stuff you might like in ANY OF these things. Website, compilation, whatever. I am, as always, your humble servant, after all.

Oh, and I have been taking an inventory also. If you start poking around the shop, you will notice things, like, THERE'S ONLY ONE PAIR OF HI-TOPS LEFT.

And THREE PAIRS OF PLIMSOLS.

And 5 iANDY SHIRTS.

AND SO ON!

Speaking of which, Zef got a handle on the new shop section for AkiraTheDon.com 5.0 last night, and it is looking SMART. We are gonna win some awards for this one, I am telling you. Oh, and shout out Soundcloud, who have been being very nice and helpful and have also been bumping When We Were Young this morning.

OK, back to work. You should go look at the cute old couple in the Blob Blog.

PAX!

Practice 361

Good morrow Ladies and Gs. Hold tight the lucky few (ha!) who were around to witness our wee rehearsal this afternoon, when I decided for no good reason to switch a webcam on. I figured you'd find it interesting. And I was trying to record it with one of my HD Webcams, and couldn't think of any way other than Ustream. Problem is, Ustream makes everything crappy qulaity and shaves the edge off the picture. Foolishness! Still, I hope it was an enlightening/amusing/interesting experience for those of you that caught it. Let me know if you'd like me to do it again. Oh, and follow my ass on Twitter so you get informed of such goings on it REALTIME, OK?

Anyway, onward onward onward. I am downloading a demo of a game called Left for Dead 2, which my brother tells me is amazing for playing in groups online. The idea is me and him and my old man and our wives all hook up on it kill zombies or something. Sounds good to me! Where I will find the time I do not know, but I am told that relaxation and family are important, so I shall do my durndest. I wanna game where I can use my lil' Xbox avatar, anyway. My girl made him for me. Isn't he dope? He's making me consider getting a face tattoo. It's not like I ever want a job or anything. Ho ho.

So, Joey and I recorded the first track for ATD25 yesterday. Work will get intense on that next week, when I will also be recording Littles' new tape. There's ANOTHER rather exciting mixtape project coming up in August too, with an old friend and collaborator of mine. A fabulous No Prize goes to the clever sausage who can guess who it is based on this single clue:

Divorce Papers.

Man, that's too easy. You won't guess the musical direction of the project though, so don't even bother!

Anyway, right now I need to decide whether to flee or not. An Art Festival has descended upon my homestead. They're swarming off the train like ants and they've started vomiting outside my house already. Someone has been making gut-wrenchingly shrill American Indian Wolf Yelps for the past 13 minutes. This is going on all weekend! I am considering throwing in the proverbial dishrag and decamping to my brother's house. Of course, I will be unable to work there. Not that I'll be able to work much here with the terrible cacophony of vomiting arty types echoing around the place. Not that human beings are supposed to work on the weekend anyway. Perhaps I should go and wander amongst them and see what the dilly is. It's either that or play these incredible ***** songs **** just sent me really loud and carry on regardless.

Sweet fuck. They're all sat in the middle of road making a big communal wolf yelp noises now. Where's my Super Soaker?

Lush

So I fell alseep on the sofa after 5, and was awakened gently by Super Phil at 6:20, and it transpired Bird left my bag with my passport in it at the venue last night. But Bird's got me another ID card, so we're outside waiting for Jeff to pick us up at 6:30. And at midday we're in LA, and soon after that we're in Interscope's offices,and I'm filling a bag with Nirvana, Guns N Roses, Gilbert And Sullivan, Dre, Peter Gabriel, Police and other such back catalogue. Jimmy Iovine has a signed letter from Tupac and a video console that won't switch on. And loads of ideas. A balcony. A lush view. LA is lush to look at, from these places of advantage. Like, later we visit Jeff and Trent's, and there's this fucking alien cat that loves me, and an incredible, incredible view, of this desolate wilderness spattered with money.

It was a lovely day.

But in the nighttime it is hard not to see that LA is awash with cunts. It is a sad and massive amount of cunts, and I am not sure whether it is sad because this is what the world did to them, or because this is what they do to the world, or because they are cunts, and you can see their faces rotting right in front of your eyes.