ATD's Jail And Destitution for You Andrew Crossley Round

So, my first attempt at fashioning and presenting a round for a pub quiz was an unequivocal success, thanks for asking. Not one person in the room knew the answer to the first question, "Name the artist and the song from these amazing opening lines: I Went home with the waitress/the way I always do", which was pretty shocking, but they got into the rest with admirable enthusiasm. Ufck it then, I'll post the rest of the questions here, and you can answer them in the comments. Remeber, if you use Google, you are only cheating yourself.

Oh, and the round was called Akira The Don's Jail And Destitution for You Andrew Crossley round. Get in!





(Play the start of I Fought The Law as performed by The Clash) WHO WROTE IT? 1 POINT!


Scooter's Jumping All Over the World is one of the songs ACS Law were monitoring for... Where are Scooter from? a: Germany? b: Denmark? c: Austria?



Work out the band and song title from these two things. WIRELESS BLOW JOB MY NAME IS EARL STING 2 POINTS!


Alestorm are an awesome pirate metal band. They sound like this: (play a song) Which of these is not a song by Pirate Metal band Alestrom? a: Nancy the Tavern Wench b: Black Pig c: P is for Pirate d: Wenches & Mead 1 POINT!


(Play Their Law By The Prodigy and PWEI) One member of a band behind this is now a famous soundtrack composer WHAT IS HIS NAME? WHAT WAS HIS FIRST MOVIE SCORE? 2 POINTS!


PLAY: I've Changed My Plea To Guilty by Morrissey What three words were aously used by a judge to describe Morrissey? 3 POINTS!



If you ever get one of those speculative letters accusing you of downloading porn or music, there is one rock solid defence open to you, a defence made famous in 2001 single, by a former marine:





There  you go. How did you do? Well I hope. You are reading this, after all, I expect a ceratin degree of musical sophistication.


Anyway, have at ye a warning: As work on AkiraTheDon.com Version 5.0 draws to its earth shattering conclusion, you can expect some downtime over the weekend. OK?


Thank you, and good day.


So, I got some (ha!) sleep, and I listened to the noises Birddogg was making up here while I was down in New York, doing whatever it was I was doing in New York. Like, there's some ill stuff. But one in particular is just tremendous. it is mighty. It fills my heart. And prefectly fits so many of the raps I was writing in New York, tempom flow, everything. So, what I've done, is draw various raps, and bits of raps, together, to create this New York song that's been brewing all the time I've been here. It is best I get it out now, before I FORGET. Annoyingly, the necassary component is missing. So piss.

Bad: All the stuff I bought last week - food, drink, socks, weed - is gone. Mostly. I got a lot of Ritz crackers, peanut butter and macaroni. Good: There's a Death's Head Moth on my window. (See right) Bad: There is animal shit by my window. Good: The air outside is fresh and envigorating. Bad: The air in the top level of the house, in which I am supposed to be dwelling, is thick with the stink of animal and of animal excrement.

I went to turn on the sauna earlier, and nearly trod in cat shit. Or dog shit. It could be both. Whatever. It's like, wow, sauna! Oh, catshit. Wow! Oh. Wow! Oh. Etc. So, I wanted to go into town and get a job today, to pay for my ticket back to New York, but waited about for people to come with me rather than just doing it, and the end result is it's super late now, too late to get a job anywhere, and everyone's going into town to go out, save me, who must stay at home cos he has no ID (this is a worry), and it's too far to chance not being allowed in anywhere.

A ha!

So I should write more now. I wrote a bunch earlier. Phil is worrying that Amy has forotten his ass, as she went in her tiny car to take Cecelia and James over an hour ago. But she hasn't forgotten him. It's just miles from ShanGayKen to Woodstoock! A HA!

I just asked Spiky if he has a message for the world. He said, "spitroast!" So there you go.


So, there were a bunch of updates and pictures and things, and they got wiped! Oh, the tragedy. So, a recap. On my last day on Rivington Street I saw a white thug in an open-top Hummer drive by blasting out 'I Want The One I Can't Have' and nodding along with a serious expression about his face.

Then we went.

Wade and I ended up on the coach, as there was no room in the van, or car. We got there early, and checked out the scene. The scene is small.

We don't actually live in Woodstock. We live in Shandaken, outside. Well, just outside. Half way up a mountain, hidden away by forest, amongst bears and chipmunks and what have you. In a big old dusty house full of weird porn and broken stuff, with brown water and giant ants. Like, there's a jacuzzi, but it doesn't seem to work. There is the biggest TV you've ever seen, but it's got a big black tear across the front and doesn't tune properly. It's a two hour walk to the nearest shop, whihc is a petrol station, and does a good line in biscuits. The local girl's got a lot of guns.

It is very lovely to look at up in Shandaken. Mountains covered in trees, mainly. Streams. Clouds so low you can jump up and punch them.

I miss Wade, who is back in London sorting out affairs. All my stuff is in boxes.