Wolverine Isn't A Particularly Good Movie Shocker

deadpool-and-wolverine1 Yeah, I know I was supposed to stay in and finish the Steam video, but I hadn't seen Wade for ages so we went down the Genesis Cinema in Mile End to see Wolverine. The Genesis cinema in Mile end is great because:

A: It's like the cinemas of my youth - small, vaguely populist, cheery atmosphere, happy pock-marked youths manning the popcorn, that sort of thing B: I can cycle there in 20 minutes C: It costs £5.50! Which is a lot of money in this day an age, but it's nearly half the price of all the other cinemas in London. Even the pretentious arty ones charge  a tenner for a ticket and they don't even sell popcorn!

Yeah, obviously Wolverine wasn't going to be a masterpiece - and yeah, I could have downloaded it (the workprint was streaming on here a month ago, after all). But I don't have time to watch a lot of stuff  - I haven't watched Dollhouse or 24 or Heroes or Smallville or any of the other evil American television shows I shouldn't be wasting my hard earned eyeball time on for a MONTH! All I watch these days is the X-Files, and that doesn't happen nearly enough.

But no, I gave Fox Corp my £5.50. That's OK though, because God knows they need it, and I'm gonna make £50,000 by the end of June. I decided last night. And Wade and I sat in the cinema, which is a nice thing to do, and giggled at the nonsense on the screen.

And it WAS nonsense. The plot, such as it was, consisted of a gaggle of butchered strands from three decades worth of comics, leading a gaggle of butchered characters from three decades worth of comics from one implausibly staged fight sequence to the next, for quite a long time. The thing felt like watching someone play a fighting game on one of those mildly sophisticated next gen games consoles I don't have, for the most part. Like when Wolverine visits an old friend - who has, for no good reason, turned into The Blob - to get some information, and has to have a boxing match with him before he'll talk. or when Deadpool shows up at the end, looking like Voldo from Soul Calibur, and they have a fight on top of some turrets, and movie Deadpool has weird new powers, like being able to teleport behind someone's head and stab them with an extendy sword and blast them in the face with heat vision.

wolverine-deadpool-move-soul-kalibur-weirdness

Wade wasn't impressed, and he loves Wolverine (he used to look a lot like Wolverine, and took the character's name to insert in the middle of his own).

Wade

by the way

what happened to wolverines bro?

12:27amAdam

that was the guy he kept flying through the air at

12:28amWade

yeah, but in the end he kinda just jumped down the hole and nothing relaly happened

Which is true. Still, Wade jogged home, and I cycled home, so we at least got some excercise.