Why I Didn't Eat Jimmy Iovine's Ice Cream

That up there? That's me, at the second Crack Village gig at Cargo back in 2001. It is the subject of a CAPTION CONTEST on my Facebook page, but feel free to leave nentreis here if you can't be arsed with that thing. It's sure been pissing em off lately. I log in to admion my page, and I am presented with a liost fo all the crappy articles my friends have been reading, like some amped up Daily Mail sidebar it is shameful.

Still, Facebook remains a good place for connecting with fellow humans, and fielding enquiries. Looky Khan asks via my wall:

I want to ask u a question. 'way back home' you said "I said yes to the deal, and no to the ice cream" the ice cream is a metaphor, this I know, but what? Was Jimmy lovine asking you to sell your soul to the devil??

Well, I suppose he was, but the ice cream was entirely literal. After sitting on a vast leather sofa in the room next to his office - which looked like the room Mr I Was Very Very Drunk from The Fast Show sits in - admiring his collection of framed letters from Tupac ("thank you dear Jimmy") and signed guitars and things, I was summon-ed. We went out on his balcony, overlooking LA, and, after blowing some smoke up my ass ("you've changed music forever! I knew the next seismic shift in rap would come from the UK! I want to put you in the studio with Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg!") he asked me if I wanted any ice cream. He said he had the finest ice cream know to man. I was like, "nah, I'm alright". It was obviously a massive foux par, as everybody got all weird and nervous. "You could have blown that!" squealed the guy helping broker the deal later, who we'd affectionately christened Ratboy. "You don't turn down ice cream from Jimmy Iovine!"

In retrospect I have no idea why I turned it down, other than I just wasn't particularly hungry, and whilst I am a lot of things, I am no glutton for sweets. I like Ice Cream - who, save the intolerant of lactose, does not? He also offered me run of the stock cupboard and I accepted that gladly. I left the Interscope offices laden with CDs - Guns 'n' Roses, Dr Dre Instrumentals, Gilbert & Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance cast recordings... But that ice cream will forever remain a mystery.

So, I spent an intense weekend recording Christmas music for my Xmas LP (with occasional JD and Coke fuelled diversions into San Andreas), which I am now mixing. My Logic skills are coming on in leaps and moon vaults, and I have been amassing some useful information, a little of whihc I thought I should share today, in case any of you ever have the same problem. See, Logic, unlike Acid, has no autosave, and late on Sunday I was sat in the candle light, cheeks wet with tears, having just spent half an hour recording a particularly emotional number, when disaster struck - an obnoxious little window popped up on screen decalring, rudely, "COULDN"R CREAT REGION ERROR"! A stab of sickness penetrated my belly, unleashing swarm of butterflies, and panic flooded my loungs as I desperately clicked around the screen trying to reactive the page, all to no avail. "Ping!" went the error noise "Piiiing!" This ensued for a long time, and I started to fear that I would have to force-quit Logic (the deadlier Mac equivalent of Control Alt & Delete), thus losing all that work.

I was saved, however, by some internet detective work on the Logic forums.

The fix: Simply go to "Window", then click "Cycle through windows". Once you do that, you can go to File and the save options are going to be enabled. Then, once saved, you'll need to force quit to be able to get Logic working again. When opened you should have the project you saved available wherever you decided to save it as.

Hallelujah! Praise Xenu! Praise R kelly! Praise the helpful humans of the Logic forums! It worked! And my work was saved!

And soon, you will hear it. Alongside a whole flipping Christmas album, we're having Advent on akirathedon.com, and it's going to be a beautiful, bountiful affair. It all starts on December 1st, with the Nothing Lasts Forever video. it is my best video ever, and I can't ewait for you to see it.

Meanwhile, the ATD XMAS SHOP is officially OPEN FOR BUSINESS ! Amongst many wonderful things, you can buy your very own custom Don Doodle for just £5!

Joy to the world!