Who The Fuck Is Tom Ford?!

OK, first off - anyone wanna inite me onto Oink? I was all up on that glorious swine, then I went on tour and my ratio plummeted and they booted my perfectly formed peachy pink ass. I miss it! I need more Billy Joel live LPs! Help me!

Anyway, I've been in Wales, hence the no updatey. I can barely get a signal on my Blackberry, let a lone wireless. I went to Colwyn Bay and Beaumaris. Beaumaris, a tiny little Welsh seaside town we used to live in, was all Christmas-ed up - a local young entroponour Had gotten permission from the council to put a ferris wheel and some teacups down the front. It was like something out of Its A Wonderful Life. A nearly wept, but didn't. I've cried far too much lately. I was listening to All That I've Got Is You by Ghostface the other day, this song about when he was little and pooor, and I bawled like a fat baby. I've become super-emotional in my old age. All those years of fronting like I didn't give three craps, and now look at me. Funny old life.

Anyway, I had a fantastic time, seeing my Nan, who is super hardcore. She took a spill down some "moving stairs" on Monday trying to save an old lady who was falling over, and took half the of her leg off. They had to stitch it all back up in the hospital with no anaesthetic, which took over an hour, and did she cry? Did she hell! She did beat one of the paramedics about the head with a tube of Christmas wrapping paper though. She will beat you down, my nan, she got the PPF three times in under an hour with the back of her hand. She's from Cannock. Oldest of 13 little Cannucks. No messing.

We hot the PPF parental homestead as well, which was super fun, and we got drunk and had mighty banter and watched sad-making art things. On that day, the world seemed to be ending, and the next day it hadn't, but there had been mini Wizard Of Oz styled tornadoes in North Weezy ("the weather never used t be like this! Tis year it's gone mad! I don;t understand it!" said my nan) but the trains were all pretty mashup. Yet, boosted by a fantabulous packed lunch, we got home, and Jeres came round to wrap up his instrumentation on The Christmas Number One. Look out for that later on today.

So, Lil Wayne. Tony Lynch mails and say he:

"Get a grip akira, do you honestly think lil wayne is a better rapper than jay-z?

dont get me wrong I quite like weezy, hes got an infectious flow BUT BETTER THAN JAY - I think youve been smokin some of that imaginary crack that young mr carter has been slangin in his imagination!

"“kingpin of the ink pen/monster of the double entendre/coke is still my sponsor/the cola, yeah/Hova still gettin’ it in with soda/diet, no sir, I ain’t lose no weight/started from the crates now I’m sittin on a whole case”

Show me something from wayne that comes anywhere even close to that...............nah didnt think so. The new jay album is ridiculous, the maturation of jay-z-z indeed!

But eh apart from that keep up the good work my friend!

x"

Which is fair. I wasn't agreeing with Wayne's "I'm better than you" thing. It was Jay's rude assertions that hip-hop needs him to save it, which it doesn't. Wayne was right on the money on that (nullus). Aside from that, give me Dedication 2 over Kingdom Come any day of the week. But I wish Wayne hadn't gone at The Clipse. They're on him now, and they DID sell crack. That's a battle he can't win. Plus, The Clipse and Wayne released my favourite mixtapes of the year, and I don't wanna see them squabbling, they're both better than that. NAH!