Waiting For The Summer To Come Back

If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?Emily Dickinson

Power doesn't come from a gun, or a badge. Power comes from lies. Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain’t true you got ‘em by the balls. Senator Roark in Frank Miller's Sin City

"I don't like Christmas, I'm never jolly" Solo

Once in a while, I find myself amidst, nay, in a David Lynch movie. I try to hold on to the moment, but I get caught in it, and then I forget, like I forget most things. Another old friend, from my short, but increasingly important Reddich period got in touch last night. He's married, expecting child, running his own printing business, playing guitar and practicing his lines for a performance of Macbeth. "I'll never forget your Grandpa George in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," he wrote.

And I thought, what? Because I fucking did! I have no memory of that whatsoever! NONE! And I must have been 16 at that point. Or 17. Its when I started taking drugs. Maybe it's the drugs that wiped my brain. I think sometimes that it is shame, but why would I choose to forget playing Grandpa George Charlie And The Chocolate Factory? I bet it was dope! I thought the last time I acted was in Castle Players back in Beaumaris when I was a pre-drugs teenager. Maybe its just the terrifying contempt with which I have treated my body in these past ten years. It dawned on me earlier that I eat no better today than I did ten years ago when, aged 16, I rented my first room, and bought my first 8p noodles. Charlotte says I would like lentils really, but I know I would gag if they went anywhere near me. My relationship with food is as messed up as my relationship with my brain.

I left a three legged plastic giraffe in a David Lynch movie last week. I was on holiday, then. But in the morning I made noises, noises, noises, I went to Wales, noises, noises, noises, I came back, noises, noises... I didn't stop until his afternoon, and the silence, the gaps between the raps, came crashing down on me like a chandelier, and I have been lying here since, punctured, leaking, pinned to the earth by gravity and consciousness and a foul, unwarranted worthlessness and paranoia that has been fucking with my obviously excellent shit for as long as I can remember. And I can remember that.

"I deamt that you rang to say you were poorly and fed up and hadn't been eating properly so I said "come home and I'll look after you so that you can get better"," wrote my Mother in an email the other day. "You said Ok and you turned up a while later look very chipper and not poorly at all. Soon after you arrived, lots of other people began turning up in ones and twos until the house was full of people. "What is going on" said I. "Oh" said you "I want a party and my landlord won't let me have one so I thought that I would have it here instead." I was having none of this and ordered every one out. You said "oh well, it was worth a try"."

Which is true.

So. This:

Is me and two of my Women performing Thanks For All The AIDS in Cardiff the other day, rendered a physical, nay, digital memory by Jombo Rodney Dangerfield's telephone, which still seems kind of odd, still fills me with awe. Dude also caught:

BOOM!

and the latter half of Oh! What A Glorious Thing. BOOM! is nuts! Well done that Danger. Oh! is also odd, as everyone seems to know the words, and I don't see how they could.

In other video news, there is an Urban Ninja for hire! He is definitely a skilled ninja, but I like Lady Ninjas best. If ever I spawn, the spawn will know kung-fu by the time it can walk (I could walk when I was one, because I am ninja. I just can't ninja cos no one ever taught me). Imagine! Now, you could argue that being a 9 and a half stone not-particularly-hench person such as my self, teaching the spawn to kick ass is just begging for rowdy brats that will do not as they are told and batter their parents and become a menace on the playground. But no! For zen and Oneness and the pursuit of progression are at the heart of kung-fu, so you can finish up that can of Hater-Ade and jump in the river bubba. At ye! Ninja babies are the FUTURE!

And with that in mind, and for no good reason other than we need to remind ourselves of these thing now and then, of the actuality of this time and place in which we live, and the dangers that face our kung-fu babans:

US ESTABLISHMENT NONCE WATCH!

* Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

* Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

* Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

* Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

* Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

* Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

* Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

* Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

* Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

* Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

* Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

* Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

* Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

* Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

* Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

* Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

* Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

* Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

* Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

* Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

* Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

* Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

And then there's the Bush family. Did I ever tell you the one about the Pappa Bush and the child sex parties? I must have. Surely.