...or How To Get Ethered The Fuck Off Of Twitter In 24 Hours...

Man, there's something aggy in the air tonight. I'm sat here listening to Uncle Murda on Spotify - which is way better than I thought it would be - feeling ready to go shoot some cops in the face (Bullet! Bullet!), and I just put togther my first Friday Night Fights entry. So, I took a glance at Twitter, and I'll be cotdamned if the UK's greatest rap DJ isn't brawling in public with DC's most celebrated. Sheeet, looking closer, I seem to have witnessed rap's first major twitter casualty... follow me as we break it down, cos someone just got OWNED.

What I like about Twitter is, it's a beautiful, visual metaphor for the collective consciousness. The brevity of the messages forces the writers to boil the point right down to the bone (Tinyurl must be feeling the weight) - mankinds hopes, dreams, fears, and urges, spitting out like bullets into the ether.

The other thing is, people don't seem to think too hard before they blast out some crazy ish. Maybe that's what's happened here, maybe not... but somehow, the UK's hardest-working is sparring with DC's rap-Larry David, and shit's gotten ugly.

As far as I can tell, it starts like this - Semtex interviews Wale, and sent the following, courteous message:

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC Thanks for the interview bro!"

Shortly after, Wale announces to the world:

"am i the only artist who hates doin interviews??"

Turns out Wale wrote that in the middle of his Semtex interview! Or not, depending on who you believe. Anyway...

Not long after that, Semtex makes his own announcement,

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC I cant use the interview because it sounds flat compared to the stuff I got from Nas, Common, Lupe, etc"

Which is pretty harsh! Wale comes back hard.

WALE: @djsemtex "sayin I hate interviews means ..all the ones that are the same ...for the same audience same questions..."

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC believe it or not, people may be interested on your take on the History that just took place in your hometown"

Obviously, Wale got bored of taking about Obama. Fair, but you know, you don't wanna answer questions about Obama, don't come from DC and do interviews around inauguration day. Duh.

So Wale tells the world,

"it seem like im dissin you because I say I "hate" interviews it seems a bit forced..I did several interviews b4 u that day..and after you."

Then fires off an almost identical message to Semtex.

Then another:

WALE: "@djsemtex every body has a part at they job that redundant or not this day of 1000 websites and does become tedious"

Like, wow. Some take this dude' spade offa him! He's gonna end up Australia any minute (or wherever the heck is on the other side of the world from DC...)

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC sorry for wasting your time. I just caught a severe case of 'why did I bother'." Wale then addresses The World, again:

"I aint never disrespect anybody...but now I see for myself that u can't voice ur opinion on "twitter" without makin someone feel it abut thm"

And again:

"dr twitter friends...ask ur 10 best friends to ask u the same question...while ur at work/school..make sure its the SAME qustions... make sure they do this everyday for a at the end of this process u will understand what "I hate interviews" means"

Well, yeah... that might work... but only if those people were whoring themselves aorund the globe trying to sell records. Anyway. Dude continues to dig, diggety dig... WALE: "@Semtex see u take somethin that wasn't directed at u to a whole other level..I had many intvws before u.and my publicist said that u wasnt "

Wasn't what? We'll never know. Semtex blasts back:

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC you put it on twitter that you hate doing interviews while people were interviewing u. I put it out on twitter that thats not cool."

BLAOW! Whale continues to fail to help himself, whining like the proverbial Whiny Little Bizzatch:

WALE: "@Semtex its like u WANT to start tension..I told u prior to the intvw what happend..but u ran with it anyways..u didn't tell me u were upset"

The voice of reason replies:

SEMTEX: @WaleDC as a lot of people out here don't know who you are. If you can't see what the issue is..... There's no tension, I'm just saying" WALE: "@Semtex to my understanding that itvw was suposed to b two days ago...that should be the biggest sign to let u lnow u was even intwn me"

Whine whine. Dig dig. Scrape scrape.

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC that's it. Djs, journalists, bloggers, we support artists. I waited 90 mins to talk to you, and I probably did repeat a few Q's.." WALE: "@Semtex so for u to try to make me look smug for non reason isn't all ...I didn't say anything about u ..u want it to lok tht way?y" SEMTEX: "@WaleDC twitter works both ways. You hate doing interviews, I hate doing interviews with artists that don't like being interviewed,.."


Wale goes back to reaching out to the world, e-tears streaming down his cheeks:

"Who was offeneded by my "I hate interviews" twitt it really wasn't that serious...but I apologize nevertheless..I'm learnin as I go."

WALE: "@Semtex I didn't know u waited 90 min I have n LA publicist and a NY publicist that wernt aware of what was goin on"

SEMTEX:" @WaleDC especially after I've been blazing your music all year, and getting other djs to play it. Bro I edited both of your last mixtapes for airplay. Do you know how long that takes? Bro I told the head of the biggest station in europe to blaze your shit when it drops"

Wale does not and continues to scrape down the bottom of his tunnel: WALE: @Semtex "its not like u called me n was on hold...and like I said I had been doin intvws all I wa proly doin one while u waited"

SEMTEX: "@WaleDC there is no beef, no tension, no blackballing, I'm just saying please give a f*ck when the next kid interviews you."

To which Wale picks up his bucket and spade, turns to the crowd, and declares:

"Ok..I'm 100 pct done with TWITTER it was fun while it lasted...I can't do it..thnx to all for supporting me..and I hope u all continue to! 1" So. Wow. There you go. I think that's the order it happened in. It's a little hard to tell, with the whole Twitting infrastructure as it is. But you get the gist. UK VS US, DJ VS MC, promoter VS promot-ee... DJ Semtex VS Whale. And it looks like Semtex won. Sheeet, dude ran yer man from DC's ass right off of Twitter! In 24 hours!

I am pretty shocked. I bet Semtex feels real bad about it too, he is, after all, a nice guy. Poor Wale. What a headfuck that must have been, that all happened on his tiny Crackberry screen. Madness. Somebody's publicist is gonna get an earful. And somebody's publicist should have told somebody to stay the hell away from Twitter! Sheeeeeeeet!Wale\'s Towel

Edit: Semtex has explained his side of it over on his blog. Check it out. And you Wale Stans, get of his nuts!