There Was A War.

The blizzard of the world Has crossed the threshold And it has overturned The order of the soul Leonard Cohen - The Future

Look! You know I am the typo king! And you know I think coke is rubbish. So please stop emailing me having a go at me for being a cokehead just because yesterday I typed "Half Coked Diary" when I meant half-cocked!

(How can one be "half coked" anyway? Either one is on coke, or one is not, surely?)


Before I get into the whole World War 3 business, let me direct you in the, erm, direction of some good music. Firstly, the good people at Wu-Tang Corp have put together a special mixtape in memory of Russel Jones, AKA ODB, AKA THE KING OF EMOTIVE RAP (RIP). You can download it here. And my boy Anth Latue, the geordie wonder-emcee who you'll remember from some corking mixtape contributions over the past 18 months, has made an album, and put it on his website. Don't let the crappy website put you off, the album is dope, and my boy's beats are fonky as shit. Cop it here. Northern Dreams bebbe! Serious.

So. World War 3. British troops in Iran? "You can never say never in any of these situations," says Fuher Blair.

Iran will pay "a very heavy price" if they resume full-scale uranium enrichment to build nuclear weapons, says acting Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

"All options, including the military one, are on the table," says Rummy Rumsfeld

Russian parliamentary leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky told the Ekho Moskvy radio station yesterday that an attack on Iran is inevitable and that it will occur on March 28th.

"The war is inevitable because the Americans want this war," said he. "Any country claiming a leading position in the world will need to wage wars. Otherwise it will simply not be able to retain its leading position. The date for the strike is already known — it is the election day in Israel. It is also known how much that war will cost."

The cartoons' publication, thinketh he, was aimed to “provoke a row between Europe and the Islamic world... It will all end with European countries thanking the United States and paying, and giving soldiers.”

Over here in the US the press is full of "why Iran is evil" stories. These have been growing in number for the past year, as we have noticed. Now we're hitting fever pitch. Of course, Bush and Blair's problem is that they don't have Europe on side. Enter: Crappy Cartoons!

Four shot dead in Kabul. Condy Rice says "I don't have any doubt that ... Iran and Syria have gone out of their way to inflame sentiments and to use this to their own purposes. And the world ought to call them on it."

A reader, Dangerfield, writes, "it has taken a welsh student rag to show all the press in the UK what they should have been doing: University of Cardiff student newspaper Gair Rhydd - which means Free Word in Welsh - was forced to recall copies after it reprinted one of the 12 cartoons originally published in a Danish newspaper...

I was deputy editor of that last year. If you promise to tell no one, I'll tell you the puerile headline they ran over the cartoon.

And from Reuters, a rather worrying statement in response from the Iranian president:

Iran, which has withdrawn its ambassador from Denmark, said the cartoons "launched an anti-Islamic and Islamophobic current which will be answered".

Which. Will. Be. Answered.



Many of you are writing to me saying everyone should publish the pictures and it's a free speech issue. That many images of the Prophet have previously appeared, to little, or no protest.

The Mohammed Image Archive website contains numerous examples of previous instances of the portrayal of the prophet Mohammed. None of them show him with a bomb in his turban, but he has been used to advertise products in Germany, for instance.

"While the debate rages," writes the site's author, "an important point has been overlooked: despite the Islamic prohibition against depicting Mohammed under any circumstances, hundreds of paintings, drawings and other images of Mohammed have been created over the centuries, with nary a word of complaint from the Muslim world. The recent cartoons in Jyllands-Posten are nothing new; it's just that no other images of Mohammed have ever been so widely publicized."

And therein is the crux. So widely publicised have these crappy drawings become, there probably isn't a practicing Muslim alive who hasn't been deeply offended by them yet. This isn't about freedom of expression. It's about winding up an already outraged Muslim world, and getting the Europeans behind the globalists' invasion of Iran.

In other news, YES TV IS FUCKING BAD FOR YOU, and YES IT BREAKS LITTLE BABANS' BRAINS! This would be why everybody seems midly retarded and thinks me to be mad when I talk of these things. Thank you to my Mother for sheilding me from all that nonsense when I was small. If you have a TV set, parents, plese throw it away. Your babans will be mocked, as I was, for not knowing what's going on in Neighbours, or the modern equivalent, but they will be richer for it.

On a lighter note, I had a lovely night last night. Danny Saber and I made three amazing beats, and his dear wife Helen and the lovely Carina kidnapped me and took me to The Rainbow on LA's sunset strip. It is full of big-haired eighties leftovers, I like it. Carina gave me that bracelet you see above, with three-eyed- blobs on it. She is still unaware of the existence of The Blob. Jeff considers that significant. I wouldn't know about that sort of thing. I just think it's dope.

Oh, and I was in my favourite newspaper, the Independent last week. Wowza.