The weeping of the wizened.

Serious, sequencing is mad hard. I have been sat about tonight with my whiskey and my cancer going over this album of mine and trying to suss what bit goes where, and what Prisoner sample does similar. My head hurts. I really am not one for listening to my own music, so a whole night of it is odd. And I have to continue with this on the morrow, unless I fuck it off and get Lauren and Bashy round to make a love triangle song. Maybe that is best. That or killing the Drinking Beer remix with some stuff about the strange nature of the human predilection to brain murder. Yes yes! I am cheery and approaching some vague wisdom. Honest! A few years, I swear to your Skygod... I have to say though, this album I have made - I and my peoples - it is quite brilliant. If I wasn't me and I heard it, I would think it is the best album in the world. As it is me, I can't help but think how much better the next one will be... but less of that. Shit is really, really great.

I go back to New York on Sunday to master it. Fairytale in New York.

Hey, guess what! I haven't had time to mail Mary that marriage proposal (well, OK, maybe I could have, like, not posted this and done that instead, but the net cafe shuts in six minutes and you lot might get lonely without me. Mary is fine), but she's still sent me a reply to pass on, as I told you she would. Forthwith, and pay attention other folks with similar urges. It dawns on me everyone in my band bar me is technically betrothed in some manner, but I am sure they'll all appreciate whatever love you have to give. Anyway:

“Dear Elvis Bush…..

Thank you so much for your beautiful and descriptive letter of your proposal of marriage to me…I was most touched that you would notice a mere angel on stage with the amazing AK Donavan by my side doing his quite fabulous stuff. I’m glad that you believe in love in first sight…more love needs to be spread and less cynicism….but our ideas might differ in the sense of what’s romantic, I’m not a great one for watching lovers throw up, I used to be a nurse so watched that endlessly, but then again, opposite’s can attract.

The closeness to Lidl’s is a massive attraction, I used to live very nearby to Aldi in Southampton, which I guess must be their rivals and the bargains you could were great and I’m always one for a bargain, and as for bingo, I’ve always wanted a go but the old ladies queuing up outside, I always found a bit intimidating, but maybe if I was with you I wouldn’t be so scared.

I don’t have any tattoos and definitely no Millwall ones and I’m sure I’d get on with your mother, although I do have my tongue pierced so I hope that she wouldn’t find that offensive, I’m sure I could take that out if I had to meet her.

I must say that you are very persuasive, the dyson almost clinched it for you but unfortunately, after much consideration, I feel that marriage isn’t the right thing for me at my stage in my life at the moment, I am only 22 years old and feel that getting married is a big commitment and something that needs to be carefully thought about and considered and at the moment, I don’t think it would be fair on you as I couldn’t give you that commitment right now.

However…maybe one day…when you’re least expecting it…..and when you’re gazing out of the window into this fabulous kebab shop you describe, you may see a lady of astounding beauty before your eyes, who is far, far more beautiful than myself.

She may probably be slightly drunk, with a vacant lost expression on her face (as drunk girlies have); who is just looking for the love that you describe, you could be her knight in shining armour. I’m sure that she could love and care for you better than I ever could.

If you rush down to the shop and pay for her kebab or maybe burger, before she has a chance too, I’m sure that could be a clincher for you…and when she finds out about the dyson…..you’ll definitely be in there.

Anyway….I must go….it really made me smile reading your letter and I feel very special that you took the time out to be so kind and considerate. From now on you shall always be my first marriage proposal by website.

I wish you much love and much happiness…..

Mary Turner” Bless, eh? Sleep well lovers. I am going back to my album and my glass.