The Mettle Of Iron Man Jim


Now aint that a thing?

I got that in a mysterious jiffy bag recently, along with a lump of plasticine and a toothpick. I was confused, until I read the note that came with it, handwritten, all in caps. It is almost eerie to read handwriting nowadays, it happens so rarely. Do they still teach that joined up writing shit in school? Can you remember how to do that? Cos I can't. All I can do is the stupid scrawl I invented and taught myself to do, with its type-like "a"s, Egyptian "e"s, and long-tailed "g"s.

Anyway. That letter. It went:

To Akira The Don

My name is Iron Man Jim. The recent credit crunch blast has left me without a job, but like an irradiated foetus I have been charged with amazing super powers. I have the ability to turn anything I touch into a lump of metal. This blob is the first of my ever growing army of living metal minions. He is called "Super Rare Ltd. Edition ATD Blob Mark 1". I brought him back to metal life out of a hunk of plasticine. he is a gift to you to say thank you for all the super music and also for introducing me to Warren Zevon, who is often heard playing in the metal lair.

Iron Man Jim then goes on to propose we go into business together, making metal things. Well, me making things, and him turning them into metal, with his amazing super powers. I might take him up on it, when I have some time. Right now I have Much To Do...

Rah though. Thank you Iron Man Jim. And if any of you out there want things turned into metal, you know where to go...