You hear the one about Jews in Iran being made to wear yellow stars?
A HA HA HA!
Or how about this one?
"Israel has information that Hizbullah guerrillas who captured two Israeli soldiers are trying to transfer them to Iran, Foreign Ministry spokesman Mark Regev said."
AH HA HA HA!
We have known that the US and Israel have been planning to invade Iran since they invaded Iraq. Well, since before, but it became obvious to those of us that pay a tiny bit of attention that this was the case since then.
There are so many grotesquely repercussive events unfolding right now it makes me quite dizzy. It makes me reach for cigarettes and booze and downloaded television. My urges are primarily self destructive. I am not giving in to the worst, at present, but sometimes I think I might.
Enron related bankist types dropping like flies. Murder in Gaza. Blair making entirely fucked up comments about... fuck it, look:
"If we want to defeat the extremism, we have got to defeat its ideas and we have got to address the completely false sense of grievance against the West."
Hold up. Stop the B-line.
"The completely false sense of grievance against the West."
Dude is so on crack. Dude is on crack, or dude is fucking retarded.
"False sense of grievance?" Decade upon decade of rape, of murder, of pillage, of lies? FALSE SENSE OF GRIEVANCE? Mr Blair, were I to massacre your entire family, piss on your bible, then tell you it was your fault, would I be right in assuming you'd just roll over and smile, that you'd get down on bended knee and gargle my outsized cock for the remainder of your waking life?
Maybe so. Maybe it IS true that the greatest threat to world peace (ho ho) is not the shit spewing bully that's already nuked two cities to blood charred cinders in recent memory, and the similarly tooled-up buddy we set up for business in the middle of the Middle East after that second "great" war, but a country that - FACT - will not be able to build a nuke for ten years.
Yes, that seems entirely logical. And Israel has threatened to "turn back the clock in Lebanon by 20 years."
Did you get that? Talk about subtle! They're bombing the fuck out of an already bombed-the-fuck-out-of Gaza Strip claiming the Palestinians to be entirely deserving of starvation and death for electing "terrorists". Now they are bombing the fuck out of the Lebanese for allegedly nicking a pair of their soldiers (a response the French and the Russians have suggested might just be "disproportionate"). I would claim these dudes to be the fucking funniest fuckers on Planet Earth if Lonely Blair hadn't already collapsed my ribs this evening. And if Word War III wasn't particularly funny at all. What with all my people getting blown the fuck up and all. Have you ever been blown the fuck up? Presumably you read the accounts of my peoples wot got spattered in London last year. They were very unhappy about it. Y'all were outraged. Are you outraged now? Or does it not matter because my peoples wot are getting blown up RIGHT NOW aren't in your MySpace "friends" list?
DO YOU REMEMBER WHY THEY TOLD US WE HAD TO DESTROY IRAQ? There is a country, financed by our big buddies in the United States Of Amnesia, about to kick off World War III (OK, it kicked off a while back, but whatever), and what does our Great Leader, the co-"liberator of Iraq" say? He says "YOU FILTHY RAGHEAD SAND NIGGERS BEST SHUT THE FUCK UP WHINING AND BEND OVER".
Bush? He say Syria "needs to be held to account" for supporting and harboring Hezbollah, and we know what that means. And Iran have got a week to open wide and say "choke me", else the big boys are gonna have to have to "embark on a new course". And we know what that means too. And he thinks Russia needs "Democratic reform". This is entirely jokes coming from a man whose country now relies on Republican owned electronic voting machines with no paper trail for its beloved "democracy".
OH BUT WE KNOW ALL THIS! IT IS ALL BULLSHIT! WE KNOW! Surely by now? It is FARCICAL!
Dr Armitage Shanks left a message on my MySpace page earlier:
"Hey, Akira, I've just been checking your latest entries on www.akirathedon.com and I'm totally shocked to find out that you haven't even mentioned Israel's completely full-on military assault on Lebanon. Total war is flaring up in the Middle East, and you don't even seem to have noticed. For a rapper who I admire because of your political edge, I think you could have at least said something. But don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing. Keep up the good work, mate. Lovin' the mixtapes."
And, dude, I am glad my silly noisings are giving you some pleasure. Small mercies and all. But, really, what's me mouthing off in anguish and horror going to do? What the fuck am I supposed to say? The Bankers have decreed that there shall be war, and war there shall be. War there is. Fucking BBC trots out the press releases, David Cameron says hug a hoodie, Lily Allen moans about not being able to get a mortgage, I'm crestfallen cos this thing me and this girl was getting into is over before it started. I'm a fucking rapper man. I'm a fucking douchebag rapper, and I can't help shit. I was sat on the bus contemplating the future, and for a billionth of a second, as you do, I thought, why wait? Maybe I ought to kill myself, become one with the void... and then I remembered what Ethan Hawke said in Waking Life about Timothy Leary's looking forward to his last 6 minutes of brain activity before death, the infinite dream from which there is no waking. And when I got in, I had this mail from Flan. She said,
"I think the boy in the film was dead or in a coma, so he couldn't wake up... from the car crash he thought he'd dreamed."
That hadn't even occured to me.
Being alive hurts. I don't wanna hurt. And I don't wanna die. I don't want my old man to die. I don't want my Nan to die, my Mam to die, I don't want Jeres to die, I don't want Mary to die, I don't want fucking anybody I love to die, and that includes you, and you, and you.
But you will.
I just wish all of you that I love so hard weren't going to be made to hurt, and die, so a few babyraping Bankists can keep their dicks hard. The fucking thought of it turns mine to slop.
That's what the fuck is up.
I smoked 14 cigarettes in the last three hours. Today me and Mark went to Manchester to meet a brilliant music making man whose gorgeous tones kept me warm during my paper round 12 years ago. Sandwitches on Virgin trains are a lot better than they were a few years ago. Howard Donald from Take That wants to work with me. Shaun Ryder's Dad looks just like Shaun Ryder. I wish I could ballroom dance. My eyesight has deteriorated alarmingly. I feel sick.
Goodnight, cariads. I leave you with a song.
All the lies that you make up What's at the back of your mind? Oh, your face I can see And it's desperately kind But what's at the back of your mind?
Two icy-cold hands conducting the way It's the Eskimo blood in my veins Amid concrete and clay And general decay Nature must still find a way So ignore all the codes of the day Let your juvenile impulses sway This way and that way This way, that way God, how sex implores you To let yourself lose yourself
Stretch out and wait Stretch out and wait Let your puny body, lie down, lie down As we lie, you say As we lie, you say Stretch out and Stretch out and wait Stretch out and wait Let your puny body lie down, lie down
As we lie, you say: Will the world end in the night time? (I really don't know) Or will the world end in the day time? (I really don't know) And is there any point ever having children? Oh, I don't know All I do know is we're Here and it's Now
So ... stretch out and wait Stretch out and wait There is no debate, no debate, no debate How can you conciously contemplate When there's no debate, no debate? Stretch out and wait Stretch out and wait Stretch out and wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Oh ...
Morrissey wrote that.