Squirrels Of Death!

Crazy word! If it isn't enough that there are two toff clones performing a grotesque Punch And Judy mockery of "democracy" in London right now, there are goshdanged rabid dog eating squirrels loose in Russia! Gadzooks! Luke, whose birthday it was yesterday, and who is taking me to see Mercury Rev tonight (funny how these things work out), forwarded me this startling bit of information earlier, and I pass it on duly, as you need to know that there are giant black squirrels with huge teeth dripping puss and blood and acid saliva roaming around russia in packs hunting dogs. When the squirrels turn nasty, you know shit is a foot.

Last night then, was awesome. Lo, we did support Jimbob and be ace, (and played Patrick live for the first time ever) and lo, I did wear a smock and lo, I did trip up in it and fall upon my ass, and lo, Watary did get himself stuck in a lift and have to call the police to break him out. Safety First, I kept saying, but no one listens to me.

Anyway, I have never had so many complimentary emails from people I don't know following a gig before. Thank you all very much. In answer to the most asked question, that Watershed version we did might surface on my next mixtape.

So. Wade is back, and has managed to lock me out of the house and make a mess of the bathroom already. Gotta love Wade. He is brimming with ideas, and bears the healthy sheen of a puppy reared on steak and caviar. His arms have become boulders. It is all the, um, excercise, I suspect. Makes one handsome and glowey. Look at me! I radiate health. I worked out how to do that jumpey thing where you almost fly earlier. I had a dream once I was doing that, only I actually started almost flying properly, in that I was bouncing metres in the air, and off of trees and shit, like in Crouching Tigron Hidden Liger. I was very disappointed when I woke up and could only bounce a few feet..

Still, I didn't have that nightmare again. I had it twice now though, with a few variations. It is quite rotten. Curse my miserable so-called imagination. I need a new one.

Oh, by the way, email tells me the following:

Akira the Don has two nominations in this year's PURE Song of the Year Poll.

Patrick and Living In the future both get the nod.

Vote online here

The Top Thirty will be revealed on BBC Radio Cleveland on December 22. Listen again for the next seven days at bbc.co.uk/tees therafter. Yeah! Vote for me! I am also still at number one in the Culture Deluxe Chart. Woo hoo! Safety first people! I shall speak with you on the morrow, all blissed out from Mercury Rev and free, with any luck, of evil love nightmares! In your face Sandman!