SHAMON SHUGAH!

So, I just saw that Passion Of The Christ with my Mammy. It was, as I'd gathered from the classic South Park episode The Passion of The Jew, a two hour snuff film. And not a great one either. It was just rough. I am afraid I didn't really get anything out of it. My Mammy, who is of the Catholic faith, said it made her sad because nothing had changed, and people were still mean, which is true. Nothing has changed. The money lenders remain in the temple, religious leaders use God as a way to retain power over their frightened subjects, and the pack mentality is alive and well. Watching the thing, I wondered what they'd do to Maxine Carr if Rebecka Wade got her way and The Sun printed her address. They'd tear her into little pieces.

Poor Maxine Carr. Poor Jesus. Stupid point-missing Mel Gibson. There's a bit towards the end of The Passion, where Iesu Grist is all strung up, battered to a bloody pulp on his cross. To his right is a "nice" badman, similarly strung, praising the King Of The Jews, who has just dropped that one about forgiving them for they know not what they do and all that, for praying for his tormentors. To his left, a "bad" badman laughs manically at him, so God sends a raven to peck his eyes out, quite gratuitously.

DOH, Mel Gibson! DOH!

So. I reviewed the MF Doom album for PlayLouder. I gave it four out of five. And I voted for it in my albums of the year. Cos it's amazing. Imagine if Lil Flip and Doom got together! WOW!

So, the Catholic Church continues to shell out big bucks for the indiscretions of its priests, nuns, teachers and, in this instance, a choir director. The Diocese of Orange County in Southern California is paying over $85 million to 87 victims of clergy sexual abuse. It's the biggest settlement in the history of the Catholic Church. And a very, very sad story. This whole organised religion thing continues to miss the point. LISTEN TO JESUS, you knobs! He chatted SENSE! When did he ever say, in order to spread my message, you must not have sex with ladies? People's bits make them want to have sex! Stop them having sex they will likely DEVIATE in SECRET! And HURT! And HURT some OTHER PEOPLE! Either chop it off or stop fronting, Goddamn.

Woah! Just had an hour on the phone to the Oo Ess. My A&R's pissed off I didn't come to New York this week. Man, I'd have loved to have come to New York. But I had shit to DO this week! These goddamned Welsh shows don't, for some weird reason, organise themsleves. Neither these videos. We got Postman Pat in the first frame, shit is ill.

I gotta find somewhere to live next week. GROSS.

STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I was just about to post this. As I was opening the spellcheck in gmail (yeah, sometimes I use a spell check, don't look so surprised), I peep Teg G's emailed me a link to some messageboard. What was I saying about Jesus? Michael Savage, host of the third biggest radio show in America, pontificating on that nasty prisoner abuse "scandal", dropped these pearls before us swine:

"I think there should be no mercy shown to these sub-humans. I believe that a thousand of them should be killed tomorrow. I think a thousand of them held in the Iraqi prison should be given 24 hour[s] -- a trial and executed... Right now, even people sitting on the fence would like George Bush to drop a nuclear weapon on an Arab country. They don't even care which one it would be. I can guarantee you -- I don't need to go to Mr. Schmuck [pollster John] Zogby and ask him his opinion ... The most -- I tell you right now -- the largest percentage of Americans would like to see a nuclear weapon dropped on a major Arab capital. They don't even care which one...

"I think these people need to be forcibly converted to Christianity... It's the only thing that can probably turn them into human beings."

CHRIST

Ianity.

As someone notes further down that board, would Jesus really have been into nuking people?

And wouldn't Savage and his weird mates be subjecting that fucking hippie to the same gross crap celebrated so vividly in Mel Gibson's blockbuster?

Would Jesus pray for Savage?

I guess so.