Playtime!

I made an amazing tune yesterday, all expanding plastic synth and live Glockenspiel by Soph. And the computer crashed. Bloody Fruity doesn't autosave, bloody crappy old computer doesn't have Soundfont plug in registered bloody Birddogg has my good computer hasn't given it back moan moan moan. A safe clart called Simon emailed me to alert me to the existence of these weird Republican dolls. There are a couple of Bush models, including a "Top Gun" one "in full flight suit," that "comes complete with helmet and visor stenciled with George W. Bush, Goggles, Oxygen Tank and Face Mask." Another Bush toy spits out clever slogans like "I was not elected to serve one party, but to serve our nation... I will not yield, I will not rest, I will not relent in waging the struggle for freedom and security for the American people... I come from Texas..." and, says the website, "many more."

Wow. There is also a nice Rumsfeld one, that comes out with witty one liners like, "I belive what I said yesterday..." "Oh, it was your rhetoric that made us do it..." And the classic, "...standing around with your finger in your ear..."

Unfortunately there is not a Cheney doll that says "fuck". They are missing out on a guaranteed earner there.

Oh well. This is all genuine official Republican shit, straight from the "Grand Old Party". "What next?" asks a distraught Simon. "Tony Blair dolls?"

Well, incredibly, yes! The US based Hero Builders company has a whole selection of political action figures, although the Blair doll, launched in 2002, initially failed to sell.

"We love Blair in America," said company spokersperson Victor Vicale, who came up with the idea to manifacture and sell political action figures the day after the September 11th attacks. "These guys saved the world that day," he explained. "I thought, why give kids an action man when they could have real heroes to play with?"

But of course, a child needs baddies too, if playtime is to be complete, so the site offers an extensive "Villains" section, including "Crack Head Saddam" and "Dick American Taliban". Oh, and there is a bloody and gruesome "Dual Headed Uday." In addition, there's a "Friend Or Foe" section that features a particularly lifelike "Conrad Putin", and "Jacque Chirac".