Through the days of shame that are coming Through the nights of wild distress Though your promise count for nothing You must keep it nonetheless Leonard Cohen

We were terrible to animals. We'd put firecrackers in the frogs and blow them up." George W Bush's childhood friend Terry Throckmorton, The New York Times, May 21stm, 2000

Today is far too realistic for my liking. Outside it is freezing and grey, inside the heating has yet to kick in fully. I am very much gagging for a cigarette, like sad junkie, and am covering the cracks with orange juice like Charlotte told me too. Apparently it keeps the blood sugar up so I don't get angry. I am not quite angry yet. But I am close.

I just had to by another 40gig of bandwith, as you lot keep reading this crap and downloading my mixtapes. How dare you! It is a travesty.

"The forms of warfare are changing," said Russian Communist party leader Gennady Zyuganov the other day. "It's strange that not a single duck has yet died in America - they are all dying in Russia and European countries. This makes one seriously wonder why."

Asked whether he believed the bird flu to be of American design, he replied, "I not only suggest this, I know very well how this can be arranged. There is nothing strange here."

Last week they ran up in some house in Tikrit, Iraq, and shot eleven people, including five children, in the head. The youngest was seven months old. They then blew their house up.

Autopsies found that "all the victims had gunshot wounds to the head", according to policeman Colonel Farouq Hussein, and the bodies, hands bound, had been dumped in one room before the house was destroyed. Police had found spent American-issue cartridges in the rubble.

There are photos, eyewitness accounts, an autopsy, and still the US Army will admit to only the deaths of two women and a child. Lest we forget, the Iraqi army and the US Army are supposed to be, since "victory" was declared, on the same side.

I had a dream last night that a nuke blew up off the coast of San Francisco. It might have blown up in San Francisco, but thanks to Bush's domestic spying programme, the CIA got some leads, and managed to blow it up offshore. The explosion caused an earthquake that swallowed most of the city. Journey played a benefit gig, as US bombers dropped mini-nukes on Iran the next day. The sky was black and white teevee static.

I am going to get some more orange juice, I think.