Hey gang! The sun shines on here in Spain, after last weeks floods. The Lord walks with me still. Saying that, I have suffered an egregious bout of bad fortune every day of this, my first sunshine holiday in early two years. So don't get too green. Day 1: Trapped in Gatwick for eight (8) hours after out pane was delayed from 4.45 until 11.15. One past those metal detectors and shoe inspecting machines, there is no escape. No fresh air. It is outrageous, really. Still. We did arrive just before 5 in the morning. But I did leave my book on the emergency coach from one Spanish airport to another, in my beleaguered state.
Day 2: I'd rather not talk about it.
Day 3: Left my contact lenses in, like a spoon, and suffered a bloody, agonised eyeball that woke me in spasms at 5 am and refrained from settling down until late in the day.
Day 4: Developed extreme hayfever and toothache. Went swimming, and got outed as an emergent fattie by papparazi uncle. (Went to the gym in disgust.)
Day 5: Got attacked by sea animals and sharp rocks, smashing a nail and welcoming a small colony of shards into my poor feet. Ate a prickly pear - the glorious, sweet fruit of a cactus, retaining prickles in fingers and face to this moment.
See? It's not all glorious weather and warmth at midnight and great food and wine and adventures on roads and dope graffiti and mountains!
What excitement awaits me today? I am full of curiosity. I shall go to the gym again regardless. That will be three days in a row. There was a Carter song that sampled a line from the Britas Empire I might have done well to pay more heed to over the years. I paraphrase here but it went something like: "When you're young you can eat what you like, drink what you like... then you reach that age. 26, 27, your muscles give up, they wave a little white flag, and suddenly you're a fat bastard."
Its not like I even eat much! It is a disgrace. I'm going to have to work like a Hebrew slave just to look worse than i did at 20 for the rest of my life. I suppose I am going to have to learn to enjoy it, else I am doomed.
So what's going on in the real world? All Sky News shows is footage of the goofy child resident douche on loop, goonishly reciting poorly learned spiel about interlinked markets, and how "Afghanistan will never again be a safe haven."
Anyway. I must off. My beach awaits.