Oh dear, look what they done to the blues.

So, here's a thing. Jay-Z's CEO of Def Jam, Def Jam have bought the rest of Rocafella, which means Dame's out. Which means, all the artists he's signed without Jay's approval (most of them, since Beans), might be looking at futures bleaker than they'd thought in light of MOP's situation.

Meaning, when I met Dame Dash a few weeks ago in London, when he was going on about the Rocafella family, and how the Roc is "for life"... I mean, he must have known about this shit. He must have.

Now, I figure Jay'll do OK by NORE. But Dipset? That rubbish British crew, who's name escapes me? Nina Sky? That goddamned Ronson girl?


Hey, how amazing is this gonna be? And what if it's amazing, AND big, and they have to make a sequel? WOO HOO! I always wanted to see The Great Glass Elevator (what was wrong with The Great Glass Lift, huh Dahl?)


Last night I saw Cockney Rebel.

Let me reiterate.

Last night I saw COCKNEY REBEL!!!




I have bang-ed on about this band before.


Let me reiterate.

Cockney Rebel, who you may know for their popular 'Come Up And Make Me Smile' jingle were, for two albums at least, the most excellent prog glam outfit, like, EVAH... a fiddle sat where electric guitar usually does. They had the most incredible string sections ever married with pop music. They had huge, HUGE choruses, that grew and swelled like volcanoes under a time microscope.

Then main songwriter and frontman Steve Harley's ego got the better of him and the band split.

It was around then he wrote 'Come Up And See Me', the giant sized success of which set his terrifying ego in rock formaldehyde.

So last night was billed as "Steve Harley And Cockney Rebel", and we were never introduced to the band. From sight I figured it was made up of half mark 1 and half mark 2 Rebel, with some young dude on fiddle.

He was awesome.

And, despite Harley's colossal ego still finding time to moider on about how Lorraine Kelly used to have pictures of him on her wall (for ten minutes), and a botched, uninterested 'Tumbling Down' (my favourite song ever, a lot of the time) the thing was excellent. 'Sebastian' was sublime. If you don't have that shit in your life, go download it.

Actually, fuck it, Steve can sue me. Here's an MP3. Don't say I never give you anything. If this isn't the greatest (and crackliest, word to vinyl!) song you've heard, like, ever, kill yourself, and if you can't stomach that, cut off your ears and send them to Raekwon, he needs them more than you (why can't the Chef pick a beat for Shit? Is the Chef deaf?).

By the way Steve Harley was the most handsome man in the world for a week or two in 1976. He still looks pretty good. But what is it with white dude's ageing that makes them all look like Albert Stepte? Will my mouth shrink, my nose enlarge and my cin jut? Will we all be Spitting Image Puppets?


See that nice photo? That's me and Wade an Cibella rocking Rakehell's Revels in the poncey middle of London last week. We're doing it again this Tuesday, I'm gonna play 'Sebastian', crackles an all.

Right, I off to sleep. I'll leave you with this, the Roc refugees MOP in an interview with Vibe...

Lil Fame: I fucks wit' SpongeBob.

Billy Danze: SpongeBob is like the Smurfs, dog, you gotta love it. He got his little Crabbie Patty. He's a crab but the nigga got lobster claws and shit. It's dope.

LF: They interviewing us about a sponge, nigga!

BD: A sponge with some square-ass pants, and the nigga got arms coming out the sponge.

LF: I watch SpongeBob with my son. Keeps the little nigga quiet.

BD: That's something to watch with the kids.

LF: Yeah, definitely. Thumbs up.

MOP RATING: two guns up