Alright, stop being jealous of my moustache. And my money. Mmm. Money.
In America, or certainly New York, people seem to be either totally safe, or complete cunts. Also, many of the residents like to express themsleves through violence. You may have noticed this strange trend on your TV, and, it is a truth. TV does not lie half as much as I assumed it might.
We were at Lit last night, me and the Spitroast Brothers and our lovely friends, and many strange Americans. I did some emceeing over some songs, like Sweet Home Alabama', and The Spitroast Brothers were truly awesome and made sexy ladies go wild. And ugly British girl scum. I don't know what they were doing there. Awat British scum! You stink!
I spend much of the time watching people dance to my songs, and wrestling, punching, and repeatedly head butting a deliriously happy and giant American, some six and a half foot of steak, and I FLOORED HIM! With my HEAD! Head butting is awesome, I shall endeavour to use it in sticky situations I would have dealt with my booting some nuts and fleeing previously. Anyway, I had more fun that I have had out since I quit drinking a year ago. Head butting people and dancing and getting soaked to the fucking SKIN with beer is AWESOME.
Yes it is true. You will see, if you look, in the photos section there is a visual record of the historic removal of my mighty beard, trimmed brutally to leave nothing but a fine, fine moustache and sooul patch combo. I am officially the most dashing cad in all of the Americas. Whoo hoo!