Mummy Knows Best: Avatar

New Irregular Feature Continuing Alert!

Last year (LAST YEAR!) we sent my Mum to see Twilight, the appeal of which she explained with the following: "there is no sex!"

What then, will my Mum (My Mum’s Boyfriend Keith) make of Dances With Smurfs In 3D?

I’m Blue Da Ba Dee

By Akira The Don's Mum, 2009

A film years in the making, with a budget of squillions of dollars is bound to be awaited with eager expectation. A Blockbuster!  But more - a blockbuster in three dimensions! I was very excited about seeing Avatar mainly because of its lauded 3Dness. As a child I remember my dad getting some 3D glasses free with the Daily Mirror. I don’t remember what we were supposed to view with them but they were made of cardboard and had coloured lenses that were seemingly made out of sweet wrappers. Stupidly, I didn’t account for advances in technology [Me neither when I went to see Up!- ATD] and so was delighted to be given some designer sunglasses along with my ticket [Me too when I went to see Up! – ATD]. Forgive the ramblings of a technological migrant, but 3D is amazing! A pre-movie feature showed us the possibilities of this technology; objects floated in front of us just out of reach and hurtled towards us so fast that we ducked out of the way. Wow! A whole film to come of exciting whizziness.

So to the story: A planet populated by a species of 12 foot tall, blue humanoids who live at one with nature, connecting with the other species on the planet through a great big organic internet. Interested and kindly humans live amongst the Blue People doing considerate acts like teaching them English in the time honoured way of us colonialists. In order to do this, the humans create avatars to enable scientists and anthropologists to interact more easily with the natives.  So far, so altruistic. But not all humans want nothing more than to enlighten those less, well, enlightened.

A rich deposit of a valuable mineral buried underneath this technicoloured utopia attracts greedy humans who intend to exploit these riches with the aid of military might – seeing any parallels yet?  If not, let me help you out with a line of dialogue:

“So we’ll do what we always do when someone has something we want; turn them in to the bad guys so that we can justify taking it.”

I may have paraphrased a little but that was the gist. But in this case US foreign  policy doesn’t go according to plan. The big bad colonel assigns a paraplegic marine to infiltrate the Blue People (I can’t remember their species and ‘Blue People’ is kinder than ‘Smurfs’ [Racist! – ATD]) and persuade them to move away from their home (and the unobtainium – yes that is the name of the mineral). However our hero quickly falls in love with the planet, its in habitants and, inevitably, a Blue Lady placing him firmly in the middle of a moral dilemma.

For the animation and artistry that created the planet and its people, I have much admiration. I am a great fan of our own natural history but I was spellbound by the flora and fauna in front of me. I want plants that light up when you step on them in my garden! It was all gorgeous. I was engaged by the action too; I hated the bad guys and empathised with the indigenous people and the fight scenes were exciting - you can see a ‘but’ coming can’t you? Here it is: But there was something missing. Something that meant despite everything that went into this film, it couldn’t hold a candle to say, Star Wars. Maybe it was the rather too thin plot and maybe it was the two dimensional characters or the lack of humour or maybe it was simply that the hype machine had led me to expect goodness knows what. I am glad I have seen it and I would watch it again – on a wet Sunday afternoon if I was consigned to the sofa with flu.

Oh, almost forgot, the 3D didn’t add much at all.

Keith’s review:

"That was GREAT! I loved it!"

Thanks guys! I am torn now. Cinema is very expensive these days, and Ninjavideo is not (and they have Avatar). Mum says the 3D isn't worth it, but Keith says it's ace, and Keith is a boy (like me!). But my Mum is very wise (like me!). Argh! Quandaries!

BONUS: Look what The Inevitability Of Youtube threw up!

[video url="" title="Avatar - I'm blue"]