"Austin Mitchell, the colourful Labour MP, has fallen victim to computer hackers. His outspoken weblog has been replaced by a picture of a young man in a gas mask, boasting of how he has taken over the site. This means visitors can no longer read Mitchell’s story about the government whip who keeps a picture of Blackfriars bridge on his office wall alongside a photograph of Roberto Calvi, the Italian banker found hanging there in 1982 amid mysterious circumstances. “If the government loses a vote,” the whip told Mitchell, “that’s what will happen to me.” The site is back online, minus that particular item. Similarly missing is the Times story that reported on it.

So, I saw my first The Killers video last night. What a pile of horse shit. Someone needs to put a bullet between that Skygoddamned Mormon's fucking eyes. That was gross. It made me ill.

You know anything about Mormons? I would suggest they might be the stupidest people on Earth, but as we know, it is a big old World. I conclude that they are just fucking stupid.

The church was founded by a Joseph Smith in the early 1800s. Smith, the son of a fortune teller, claimed to have been visited by an angel, who directed him to a place where he dug up a stone box containing some gold plates, inscribed with Egyptian writings, and "a sort of wonderful pair of spectacles - two crystals set in a silver bow", through which the illiterate Smith could translate the markings.

This only worked, said Smith, when the plates were completely deprived of light, so he had to put them inside a big hat, into which he would cram his magic-spectacled head, and dictate the translations to a friend, who wrote it down. No sooner were the plates translated, than an angel appear-ed, and flew away with the plates and the spectacles.

So was born The Book Of Mormon!

And, to any of you smirking out there, wipe that thing off your visage. If you think your religion is any worthier, and was conceived in an less a fraudulent manner, well, I think you might well be living in the land of Dreams, and you should wake the fuck up now. Serious. You are holding us all back with your unthinking, selfish idiocy. And just because Pat Robertson is quite evidently rotten, a liar, a murderer, a douche - he is not so different from you. "When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind." J. Krishnamurti


You know, there are 5,000,000 of these Mormons - 26,000 of those wondering about under the mantle of "active missionaries." My favourite kinds of people. Apart from Scientologists. Banned from France, you know. They sent Tom Cruise over to convince those evil French to reconsider. Weirdly, they did not. Do they not respect the awesome power of The Cruise, lately to be found leaping atop sofas on Merkin telly to proclaim his love for that lady that was a bit crap in the new Batman movie? What are they, STUPID?

In the face of it all, sometimes I can but laugh.

Bwah-ha. Ha. Ha.