Good morrow brothers and sisters, this is Adam Alpha, AKA Akira Y Don, AKA I Invented The Internet, AKA Fuck British Gas, reporting live from Abergele, North Wales, where me and the wife have been visiting her Mother and Step-pops, the latter of whom you can see singing from his hymn book in that beautiful image above. We were recording something special for my Christmas record, which, incidentally, you can preorder here. He has a beautiful, stirring voice and I can't wait for you to hear it. He sang at our wedding and made grown men cry.
It has been a lovely three days. We put a bet on. We went to Caernarfon and visited Lloyd George and the walls I used to snog girls behind when I was 13. We watched Clint Eastwood's High Plains Drifter, in which he played The Opposite of John Marsten. I lost 44 Twitter followers (and good riddance) when I suggested that people might want to stop harping on about television adverts as they are just DOING THEIR JOBS FOR THEM. And I was told to put on a jumper a lot, as pensioners can't afford to het their houses, despite the swine at British gas and their owners, Centrica, posting record profits yet again this year. Sweet Baby Jesus alone knows how many people the murdering bastards will off this Christmas, but those fuckers better not think they're going to get away with this forever. The moon is on some crazy shit right now, and the tides they are a turning. There's a spike with your name on it Nick Luff.
HO HO HO! Joy and goodwill unto mankind, and a brick in the head for the swine. Here's a picture of the lovely sunset we witnessed on Saturday. Amen.