Illiterate Tories!

Man, those Tories are nuts, yo. Firstly, Moth alerts me to this site, which claims to be some tactical voting thing, but you'll notice it only ever seems to tell you to vote Tory (apart from when I put in MY postcode and it tells me to vote goddamn Dianne "I sent my kids to posh school" Abbot). HMMMMMMMMMMMM. Whiffy. Second, I get home yesterday from a delightful photo screening and sausage fest at Luke and Holly's to a pile of shiny Tory papers and postcards and sticky-less stickers. I found the whole lot so offensive I was temporarily tempted to vote Labour, of all the freakish things. All sorts of poisonous stuff about "controlled immigration" and how those evil Lib Dems want to educate children on EVIL SEX from age seven (OH NO WHAT A FUCKING STUPID IDEA, THEN THYE MIGHT, LIKE, UNDERSTAND IT, AND SHIT) and give away condoms. But the best bit as how the whole thing focused on that nutty statistic that says a third of all children in this country leave primary school without being a ble to read and write properly. Then check all the forlorn missing apostrophes above. TRAGIC. So I emailed the man, expecting at least some decent response. I had a dangerous bet on with my little brother. Forsooth:

Inbox

"Educashun"

Adam Alphabet to ertan.hurer

Dear Ertan

I arrived home this evening to a messy doormat from which pouted your not wholly-unpleasant, yet slightly sickly looking face, amid much bluster about children leaving primary school "unable to read and write properly" and how a Tory government would sort all that out. I wonder, then, if I were to vote Tory, and if so too did my neighbours, would we be spared future insults to the mighty apostrophe such as those to be found on the reverse of your postcard?

Or would our current suspicion - that to leave the education of our children in the hands of remedial greedheads such as yourselves would be not only wholly irresponsible, but also deeply stupid - be the correct one?

Yours in wonder

Adam Narkiewicz

Ertan Hurer to me

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I take it you're not a supporter!

Regards

Ertan Hurer

Adam Alphabet to Ertan

Goddamn it Ertan! I made a pact with my younger brother, that if you sent a decent response, I'd vote for you. Well you fucked up now! Goddamn man!

Oh Well.

Adam Narkiewicz

PS - In addition, you have piqued my curiosity with all that scaremongering bluster about the Liberal Democrats ushering in tidal wave of teenage ruttery with their sex education from seven and condoms free for all thing - how, do you wonder, could children knowing more about it from responsible adults possibly encourage them to do it even more than they already do? Do you think pretending it doesn't exist will help? Were you never a child yourself?

I look forward to my reply, obviously.