mjkd writes (or, most likely, copy pastes):
Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20) Happy birthday, Taurus. You have a secret admirer who may reveal themselves toward the end of this month. There may be a conflict brewing with a sibling or neighbor. It is probably a good idea to go ahead and have it out before mid month arrives. You’ll both be relieved to find mutual respect can clear the air. The peace of mind you seek can be realized by working in and around your home. Exercise your green thumb with some long-range gardening goals. Your perennials will flourish this year. Plant a tree and watch it grow. The three days surrounding May 19th should bring you the news you’ve been waiting for. A new technique applied to personal growth will enrich your life.
Which seems like good news (it isn't my birthday till the 16th though. I'd like some Skittles, a new pair of glasses that aren't held together by sellotape, and a new back please). I have a new technique for personal growth. I have a few actually. And I have a newfound love for non-toxic greenery. I live on the third floor of a council block, however, so I don't know where I'm supposed to plant this tree. There's already an ant farm in my keyboard. That's round Paul's though. I can't be having an ant farm, up here, even if it is a midi-ant farm. Fuck ants, they're far too single minded for my liking. I like potential. Ants have no potential: just a steely resolve. Ants are like creationists. Fuck an ant! Tread on ant ant! And if some bald nutter brandishing a 1920s pistol comes at you in Camden with some tosh about how they've done nothing to you, and how there may come a day when they're treading on you, tell him you are unlikely to live through three nuclear winters, although Dick Cheney is, and something tells me he'd fear quite well against giant ants, even armed with a 1920s pistol.
Yeah, tell him that. And tell him it was all down hill from the red indian thing, and he shouldn't have bought all those motorbikes.
You know what I bought with my advance?
Rah, if I'd had CCTV installed in this flat last week, the story it would tell!
That's an interesting thing to think, hmm? I don't think like that normally. I am learning some new thinks. A brain muse. All I need now is a brain.