HAVE YOU SEEN BIG NARSTIE?

The Super Awesome Video Team - Akira The Don, Dr Aaron Shrimpton, Mighty Tom Coles, Mr Lacey and crew - were shooting part two of The Life Equation Trilogy today. It was very excellent and amazing stuff. Eddie Argos came all the way from Berlin to play a vicious and greedy crime boss, a role he seemed born for and attacked with such enthusiasm you'd have thought there was a mint Booster Gold first edition in it for him. It was an inspiring performance, and everyone present gave their very best. The rice (and the sweets, and cigars, and Space Raiders, and foul sugary liquid) was out.

But guess who was 7 hours late didn't turn up to the video shoot today?

The crazy thing is, we were shooting the video in Essex... and Narstie lives in Essex. Narstie was on route to us in his little car from 11:40, after being woke up by my 37th phone call at 11:17am ("fam what, it's 8" "no it isn't, it's 11:17". "Fuuuuuuuccccck") and the last time I spoke to him was around 4pm - he'd forgotten his satnav, and gotten our directions backwards, somehow managing to go the wrong way down the M11 and back twice, and had by this point somehow eneded up in Stevenage, where his battery was about to die, and, having gone through £30 of petrol, was nearing an empty tank.

"I'll make it though, swear down," were his last words to me. "Save your battery," I told him sternly. Now I feel mean and sad. Narstie, wherever you are, I'm not mad at you for staying up all night watching killer whales attacking sealions and smoking weed and not waking up in time to get to the video shoot when you said you would, I just want to know you're safe and warm in your Narstie House, ready to write more ace songs and provide the Twitterverse with its daily Eastenders commentary.

PEOPLE OF EARTH!

If anyone was in the Stevenage area this afternoon and saw a large bear-like man wandering the side of the motorway screaming for petrol, beating on the sides of vans, or has any information whatsoever on the whereabouts of our dear friend Big Narstie, please get in touch.

Sincerely,

The Don