Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

Zombie Jesus He is risen!

He, being me, that is. Half 12, not bad. He didn't rise to a chorus of angels bearing chocolate eggs either, but then, who the funk did? Not Zombie Jesus, he woke up in a pitch-dark cave and got the flock out of there, pronto. He wasn't dumb. Not like me.

Guess what I did?

Well, I STILL haven't managed to be rick enough to own an X-box. Which means I still haven't gotten to play GTA4. Not properly. I've had a few wee blasts on a few folks' machines, but you know how that goes. GTA needs time and care put into it, preferably dressed in a pink toweling dressing gown with a reefer in the ashtray. No?

Yeah. So. It dawned on me that GTA4 might be out for PC by now. And that I just got this new PC, this fucking beast of a thing. I thought, sheee-it, I have a beast of a machine. I don't Need an X-box! WOW!

And you know what I did? I took half of my phone bill money (still unpaid, sorry T-Mobile), and LEGALLY BOUGHT GTA4 as a digital downlo0ad for the PC.

That was weeks ago now. Only last night did I finally find a few hours to try and install the thing.

That was a pain in the ass, I can tell you. I had to sign up to THREE online services just to get the thing running. One of them was X-box live though, HEY! I thought, maybe I can play X-box people? That might be fun! So, i persevered, and got the thing installed.

And guess what?

It plays like crap! I have to have it set to the lowest settings possible just for it to move in a slightly bumpy fashion! And the keyboard/mouse controls totally agitate my RSI! I am so sad and disappointed! This is the first computer game I have bought in, like, four years, and the first I have EVER bought for a PC. And it is breaking my HEART!

Sad huh?