I know you're gonna play meWhen you get wind I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again But if you cover your ass With the same old song You might as well be farting Farting With a Walkman on Bloodhound Gang - Farting With A Walkman On

I'm at my Mammy's new pad in Winchester. It is, helpfully, right by the train station, so no more walking for 40 minutes up Bishopsgate in the middle of the night and getting arrested for me. Safe!

Man, the amount of people I talk to over here who completely missed the whole Basra Incident. Get your knowledge on dudes. Divide and conquer is the PLAN. Serious!

Had a meeting with all the cats who are working on CLONES in the Groucho last night. Apparently it is not standard practice for the "artist" to be privy to such things. Apparently some cats get pissy when they hear that not everybody loves their crappy little record. Fools! Never will everyone like everything! Were that so, we might all as well kill our little selves, for there would be no point at all. Goshdarnit! Anyway. The Groucho. £13 for a whiskey. Serious! Obscenity!

Speaking of which, those Iranians are not helping to avoid World War Three, eh? Wiping places of of maps might be commonplace in these hurricane charged times, but serious dudes! Them boys got NUKES! Whaddya fink yer Doing?

Yo, check back in a few hours for the first installemnt of Zef Investigates. Part One: New Era Caps! Shit is real!