FANFARE!

Back in the day I used to write exhaustive accounts of my to-ings and fro-ings which might have seemed incredibly narcissistic, and it was, but if people didn't do that sort of thing then we would have no idea about the human condition, so you can piss off, actually. Haha.

Anyway. As I haven't had an internet in my house for ages, I have been crap at that sort of thing for a while. It takes me fifteen minutes to walk to Netbuddy from my house, and its cold these days, AND there's a tramp I have to avoid because I gave him twenty quid one time because his legs were bleeding puss, and he anted to check into a night clinic and not sleep outside KFC like he always does, but now every time I see him he screams out to me, "CHEEEEEEEEEIF!" and "BOSS!" in this awful bloodcurdling rasp, and hobbles after me as I wave my hands in a "I have no spare money" fashion, even though I have, like, a fiver or whatever, and prolly he could do with it more than me. It is quite depressing. When I have lots of money I have decided to buy him some new legs.

His scream reminds me of the lady in the cell above me that time they locked me up in Birmingham nick for three days. She was on her period, and spent two nights wailing "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! I'm BLAY-DING!" in a trill Brummy roar to replies of, "shoot oop slag," from the "boss". I wonder what she's doing today. Maybe she has new internet too, and is downloading old Nixon speeches, like me.

Anyway, the reason I mentioned the whole writing about one's doings thing, is because I just read one of Bravecaptain's, and it is all warm and emotive and reminds me I need to try harder, always.