Cheep!

Even mainstream American newspapers are starting to find it slightly fishy that everytime some shit is going down, we are told our subways may blow up, or they do blow up, or similar. I talk to a lot of people, and they are all in a weird alignment. Dentists, pollsters, new age hippies, raving republican twentysomethings and hotel doormen tell me that shit is not as it seems and the next few weeks are going to be nuts. That, and we are about to witness the demolition of Watergate as the worst scandal ever to affect an American President.

Woo hoo, eh? Well, perhaps not. Clinton wasn't shy of bombing people when his collar was getting breathed on, and the swine in charge right now don't need excuses to kick off attempted armageddon. Because they're CRAZY! And crazy people in corners are mad dangerous, especially if they have loads of nukes and armed dolphins and tremor machines and the fucking SPANISH FLU and shit.

"Chavez... has told foreign oil companies they owe more than $3 billion in unpaid taxes going back several years. [His] government has said oil companies won't be able to continue operating in the country if they refuse to pay those claims."

Man, I love Hugo Chavez so hard! He's not taking any of those oil scum's crap! Or IBM's! Nor Microsoft! They're cheating their taxes and he ain't having it!

Expect Bushcorp to start bombing any day.

Question: How do you fuck an area that's been destroyed by Hurricanes even harder?

You give all the money meant to get that place back together to people from, um, other places. CLEVER!

Hey! White Mike Jackson to sign to Def Jam? Jay-Z and Ghostface collab! Safe!

Oh, and here's Biggie dissing RA. Mean! And he ain't got love for Cube, who, to these ears, was his biggest influence! Respect the architect! Sheez! He's got love for Pac though. And Rage. Big up Rage!

WOAH!

STOP THEM PRESSES!

I was done then, but I just read this.

Last time I was in London I was getting all freaked out by these giant bus ads saying if you were under 16 you would have to get an Oystercard if you wanted to get a bus, or tube, meaning, basically, all kids would have an ID card. All would be completely traceable. Etc. Now, I read, they're trying to FORCE everyone else to get an evil trackey Oystercard by ramming up the fare for a single journey to £3 (!!!!!) from the already high £1.70, UNLESS YOU GET AN OYSTERCARD, which will lower your fare to - get this - £1.50! Scum! Swine! Redken calls this "free choice!" I call Redken SWINE! SWINE, Redken! DECEIVER! None of your trickery! Get ye hence!

I shall have to get a bycicle again and hope no cash strapped lickle yout who can't get a bus cos he can't get an Oystercard cos he's not needing to be tracked cos his poverty has forced him into teefing and wotnot doesn't nick it.