Charlie Sheen Is Still On Crack - Evidence!

charlieandalex Alex Jones, what the fuck?

Shouty gun and freedom loving Texan Alex Jones, whose more cringeworthy, stupid, fearmongerey excesses I have excused in the past because of the information he's bought to the people over the years only went and killed himself yesterday. Or, he might as well have.

"BE HERE AT 11 TOMORROW," he shouted, by way of Youtube video, radio, internets and (probably), bullhorn. "THE MOST IMPORTANT BLAH BLAH IN MY TEN YEAR CAREER BLAH BLAH I STAKE MY LIFE ON THIS BLAH BLAH!"

I can't be arsed to type the exact quote, but you get the gist. If he was to be believed - and remember, this is the man who predicted 9/11 four months early! (2 years after he himself was predicted as an evil Jesuit SHILL (!!!!) by William Cooper!) - Jones had something, something so explosive the word would never be the same again afterwards. The New World Order were about get exposed, maybe even arrested, mabe even jailed as a result of something crazy ill that Jones had done. Tune in at 11 and find out!

Readers of his website duly turned up in their droves when instructed, to find...

An article in which Charlie Sheen asks Barack Obama questions about 9/11! Check the intro:

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with our 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama, while he was out promoting his health care reform initiative. I requested 30 minutes given the scope and detail of my inquiry; they said I could have 20. Twenty minutes, 1200 seconds, not a lot of time to question the President about one of the most important events in our nation’s history. The following is a transcript of our remarkable discussion.

Er, OK. That's kind of lame. Imagine it!

CS: "Heeeey, 'Bam 'Bam! So, enquiring minds, gotta know: Did the US government conspire to destroy the twin towers in order to usher in a new age of war and oppression?"

PBO: "No."

Like 'Bam 'Bams gonna turn around and go, "OK, I admit it, we've been putting cancer juice in flouride as well, sorry."

Actually, let's have an actual exert from the thing:

CS – I should point out that I voted for you, as your promises of hope and change, transparency and accountability, as well as putting government back into the hands of the American people, struck an emotional chord in me that I hadn’t felt in quite some time, perhaps ever.

PBO – And I appreciate that Charlie. Big fan of the show, by the way.

CS – Sir, I can’t imagine when you might find the time to actually watch my show given the measure of what you inherited.

PBO – I have it Tivo’d on Air Force One. Nice break from the traveling press corps.

You fucking what? The President Teevos Two And A Half Men? Really? I thought he was a Wire guy?

Ego boosted, Sheen, goes in after that.

CS – A few days after the attack, several newspapers as well as the FBI reported that a paper passport had been found in the ruins of the WTC. In August 2004, CNN reported that 9/11 hijacker Ziad Jarrah’s visa was found in the remains of Flight 93 which went down in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

At least a third of the WTC victim’s bodies were vaporized and many of the victims of the Pentagon incident were burned beyond recognition. And yet visas and paper passports which identify the perpetrators and back up the official version of events miraculously survive explosions and fires that we are told melted steel buildings.

(The Senior aide appears again beside the President whispering in his ear. He then quickly moves off).

PBO – Well Charlie I can’t say this hasn’t been interesting. As I said earlier you’ve showed up today focused and organized. Regardless how I feel about the material you’ve presented, I must commend your dedication and zeal. However, our time here is up.

Wow. LAME. Charlie got the brush off! That's what got me, back in the day! I remember when that passport was on the cover of The Sun! I was freaking out! LAME!

Know what's even lamer?

It was made up.

I mean, obviously. Duh. But they didn't bother to let their readers, who believed it with all their hearts know it was a hoax until the following day. And even then it was by inserting the following at the end of that very long article:

Author’s Note: What you have just read didn’t actually happen… yet.

This is an open letter to the President requesting a new investigation.

Er, no it isn't! It's a stupid fictional interview, like they do in Complex, but not funny! Boo! You suck!

Really, what the fuck was the point in that? Other than to flog DVDs? (PS, Don Shoes out now!)

Alex Jones is now demanding his listeners send the fake interview to "media representatives".

How is this helpful?

"People who practice this kind of broadcasting and claim to be an American patriot do nothing but discredit all of us eventually." William Cooper, 1998

What was Jeff Wells saying?

The Truther wars are over, and Loud, Dumb and Misguided hold illimitable dominion over all. The moment for justice has passed, and the truth movement has become an Alex Jonestown. Regardless of how the best and most nuanced work doesn’t deserve it, 9/11 skepticism now wears the clown nose of National Chauvinists suiting up for the Red Chinese on the Mexican border and Obama’s FEMA guillotines. (The noise on the right is now amplified mainstream by the opportunistic likes of Glenn Beck, who keeps his armchair militia in a perpetual state of apprehended Apocalypse while ridiculing the real ruin of the world.) Serious questions and connections re September 11th have been berated and beaten down for the quick confirmation thrill of slapstick forensics which sustained controlled demolition’s imaginary crime.

Quite.

You know, I caught a bit of the Alex Jones show a little while ago, and a holocaust denier rang up moaning about "the joos", and Jones DID NOT ARGUE WITH HIM! He told him to write them an article and send it in, thanked him for his call and moved on. It was weird, bubba. I felt a chill in my ass.

Anyway, never mind that. Speech Debelle won that Mercury, and my little brother says that's fucked me for next year. WHATEVER. Mine is an awesome pop album, not a whiny poetry workout. Pah!