Captain Universe.

Communication from Tego, managing man of a certan Why Lout? will follow forthwith: "If you want to offer your fans the chance to get in to KoKo on Saturday to see you DJ for half price then we have these abilities... We have an unlimited £5 list."

Hear that? UNLIMITED! Email me, and it will be so. First 5 I shall make FREE, cos I am Captain Universe, and if you think I'm joking, you know nothing about the inside of my ass.

Serious.

Koko is in London. Camden, in fact. This Saturday, by the way, looks like this:

THE LONGCUT VINCENT VINCENT AND THE VILLAINS DUELS GET CAPE. WEAR CAPE. FLY. PINK GREASE THE BISHOPS DEGA BREAKS

PLUS IN TOP BAR: **DADDY I WANT A WRISTBAND** FEATURING DJS: THE SHAMONES, ALEX THE BRADLEY, SKINNY ALEX, TOWERS OF LONDON, TEGO ARTROCKER VS. AKIRA THE DON (Swang, Crunk, Grime DJ battle), DJ Jack Nimble and Marvin The Martian (Live PA).

8pm-4am. £10.00 in advance. Rah rah rah.