I feel sick in my belly. These day it gets harder and harder to know who to trust. Americans are incredible creatures, and they have raised bullshitting to an artform. They love it here, they really, really do. I severed my relationship with the biggest bullshitter I ever encountered yesterday, in the TRUE American way. And his response? Linda Blair Exorcist (that is spelt wrong I am sure but I have not time to sort it, I have 5 minutes of free internet Library time left...) styled SUPER VOMIT of the MOST bullshit. You spent seven grand my DICK. 16 grand?! My dead babies. BABIES!

Sweet Jesus! How long, Oh Lord?

Birddogg has gone back to Englandland to sort his shit the fock out. He's gonna do some elctrician work with his PA. I am jealous. I got shooed out of the front of the British Consulate today, where Bird was sorting his stolen passport, for possible terrorist activities. People are so WEIRD.

6 million kids on ritalin. Kids here are raised by TV. Flash flash flash. Is it any wonder they're spazzing out? And anyway, isn't that what kids DO?

Listen, I know a lot of this seems really oblique. Maybe it makes no sense to you whatsoever. I appologise. When this is all done with, sink or swim, I will tell you. It is a silly story indeed.

"If I was a fish/yo, I'd swim in the sea..."

"Squeal Piggie, squeal."