Big Country

I'm out in the country right now, where the sky is black as pitch and light shines through the stars like bulletholes. Plus it is super quiet, and the sound of my typing is obnoxious and thunderous. Still - I heard the door knock earlier. My Mam and her boyfriend were in bed, so I answered, and a wiry bald dude brandishing a metal rod stood at the door, asking if any of us were out by the car, as some disturbance was coming from that direction. I said, no. Dude figured it was thieves. Robbists! Country burglars!

I said, "you want me to tool up and come look?"

Which, on reflection, was a weird thing to say. Tool up? Wow. My old mate Danny said that once. I had no idea what he was on about. He turned up at my rented room behind a curry house in Redditch one night looking sweaty and distracted. "Mind if I tool up?" he said, before making off into the night with a bunch of my spanners. I never saw him again. He was arrested that night for armed robbery.

Anyway. I did, and went out, but dude was coming back, rod gleaning, and there'd just been a minor accident or something, and coppers were there, so there was no need for my spade.

Spade! What was I gonna do with the spade anyway? Smack some dudes around the head? Then what? Ha! LOL at me and that spade!

Weirdness in the country.

Anyway. I am happy cos I finished the first batch of demos for my next album. We are talking BIGNESS! Big up Madison, Jeres and BJ.