So, I just had a lovely day out in central London with my Mam. We went to the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, which is one of those dope-ass German Christmas festivals, with rides and wooden huts selling mulled wine and venison burgers and stuff. It was beautiful. We sat on a bench to eat our venison burgers - with cranberry - and watched pigeons and rats and squirrels scamper about in search of chips. I told my Mum about how I'd seen a tweet from Andrew WK last week in which he declared his lifelong ambition to cuddle a wild squirrel.
We finished our burgers, binned the rubbish, and sat a while, enjoying their display. One squirrel in particular caught my eye. A friend of his had been doing a very good meercat impression, but this guy wasn't so crude, so clownish. He had that glint in his eye... the one that says "I KNOW THINGS". Then suddenly, as if in a dream, he was at my feet, head slightly cocked, glinting, and before I knew what was happening he was scrambling up my leg. I don't know what he wanted - squirrels don't like Pepsi, and I didn't have any food left. (Maybe he was warning me that having that Pepsi - my first in months - was the start of a slippery slope.) He got half way up and stared at me, then continued his climb. He stared again, and a little crowd gathered in amazement. Their cries startled him, and he darted off, quick as The Flash.
We sat, in wonderment. I have never know a squirrel so bold! We wished we'd been able to get a photo, and wondered if he'd return. My mum readied her iPhone 3G and her fancy schamncy photo app, just in case.
And, lo, he did return, employing the same magical manoeuvres as previously!
As you can see above.
Any child could tell you that squirrels, like rats and pigeons (and beavers), are divine creatures. Truly, today, we walked with the gods.
Merry Christmas, every one!