All Hail Resident Douche!

This is 30-year-old Mr. Wu Chunlong from China. He was detained by Chinese police several times over the past 5 years in repeated attempts to force him to renounce his Falun Gong practice. In November 2003, he was sent to the Jiamusi City Labor Camp for a three-year sentence, where he was tortured and injected with unknown drugs in an effort to “break” him. He became incontinent and physically emaciated. He died on August 20, 2005. Remember the bit in 1884, where they torture Winston until he believes that 2 plus 2 equals five?

Well, that's what they're trying out in Gitmo. And that is what they have been doing for a long time in China, against practitioners of Falun Gong, a useful and harmless sort of spirituality, that The Party deems evil, as it is a thing of peace, practiced by 100 million Chinese.

I found out about this yesterday, on third avenue, walking from 53rd street to 27th. It was a pretty crazy walk. For three blocks Police Cars framed the road, two mean-eyed crazies toting machine guns and pistols for each car. Then came the sound of drums, and yellow-clad Chinese-Americans marching, flanked by coppers, in support of their oppressed peoples back home. Then I saw sad-faced Latino in a limp banana costume handing out flyers. Then came a block full of piles of cans and bottles, which brown skinned men and women were packing into bags, and carrying off, two or three at a time, to exchange for pennies.

Then came mainly white skinned opulence, and my studio. In it, are wires and tiny dogs (well, dog) and raw meat. We shouted "WANKERS!" en masse at the mocrophone. It was fun.

You'd think that two dead bodies plus another two dead bodies would make four dead bodies. And you'd be right. But Resident Douche and his crazy Cheney gang are intent on convincing us otherwise. That's why they've hired Kenyon International to set up a mobile morgue for handling bodies in Baton Rouge, Louisiana following Hurricane Katrina. Kenyon is a part of Service Corporation International (SCI), a massive Texas company run by an old family friend of the Bushes, who've been caught on many occasions digging up graves, dumping bodies in woods, and othersuch acts of gross craziness. They have been hired by Resident Douche to hide the bodies. Read all about it! Read all about it!

Oh, and Crazy Cheney's trigger finger is getting hella itchy. Don't go to sleep.

"I was always a singer and maybe no more then that. Sometimes it's not enough to know the meaning of things, sometimes we have to know what things don't mean as well. Like what does it mean to not know what the person you love is capable of? Things fall apart, especially all the neat order of rules and laws. The way we look at the world is the way we really are. See it from a fair garden and everything looks cheerful. Climb to a higher plateau and you'll see plunder and murder. Truth and beauty are in the eye of the beholder. I stopped trying to figure everything out a long time ago." Jack Fate, played and written by Bob Dylan, from 2003's Masked And Anonymous

See, nobody should have to believe that 2 plus 2 equals anything other than what is equals, which is four, Douche. Brother Mark led me to this website, where you can see pictures of signs saying 2 + 2 = 4. To counteract all the ones that say otherwise. Make your own sign! It's easy and fun! Counteract the craziness! Don't let them stick your head in a cage full of rats! Rats are hungry and they will eat out your eyes!

Oh, I just got an email suggesting I type "failure" into Google. Why don't you all try doing the same? I have a funny feeling I know what's going to happen...