A! T! D! 5!

So, I just got the new mixtape done, and it's on the music page for you to download now! I haven't got it a little cassette yet, so you'll have to stick with the link system for a day or so. I hope you like it. It made me a bit sad, but it's FRESH to DEATH. I don't rap on it.

Listen, where are all the female emcees at? I'm getting weirded out now. Jean Grae's OK, but come on! This weird sexist industry needs sorting. And I can't do it, I'm a philanderer. I heard this amazing indie band today - they're called The Long Blondes from my boy Luke, but I hear record labels are steering clear because they don't look like Jennifer Ellison. I'm a kill somebody, I swear.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, the thing was uploading, and I surfed across this craziness. A white rapper from Canada called Johnny Crack. Says nang a lot. Dude is incredible, someone must have made him up. Make sure you check the messageboard, I have never witnessed such an incredible summing up of the male gender.

If you an't be bothered (but you should), a post from the board's wittiest character, Pye Dog, who manages to get through a whole post without saying "fagget", "wigga" or "nigga".

"THA GHETTA BA « Thread started on: Today at 12:51am » YO THIS YOUR BOY P-DIZZ, WIT MY DIZZLES, YOU BUNCH OF HATERADE SIPPIN FIZZLES. I WAS AT THE BA TONIGHT. OFF THE HOOK, MANG, NAW MEAN, NAW SAYIN. I WAS THERE WIT A BOTTLE A CRIS, ON ICE. AND DIS DUDE WAS LIKE YO, AND I SAID YO, AND HE SAID YO YO.....WORD NEA. AND THEN IN FRONT OF THE BAR JON CRACK, JUMPED OUT OF HIS SL 430 BENZINO, AND SAID YO YO YO. HE HAD TWO EXTRA YO'S ON ME, AND ONE EXTRA YO ON THIS FIZZLE TRYIN TO GIZZLE. I WAS LIKE YO JOHNNY C, AND HE WAS LIKE YEA NEA. I COPED DA BOTTLE, AND WAS AUDI LIKE QUATTRO. WE HIT THE HOOD, STREETS OF SIDE WAS JUMPIN. AND I WAS LIKE YO JOHNNY C, MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL WHO IS THE BIGGEST GANG BANGER, GANSTA, GANG RELATED MAFUCKER OF DEM ALL. THE MIRROR RESPONDED YOU ARE YOU CONCEDED BASTARD. AND JON WAS LIKE THATS ME, AND I WAS NAW IM DA BIGGEST GANG BANGER. AND THEN WE HAD AN ARGUMENT OVER IT. I WAS LIKE BLING BLANG BLING. AN HE NAW MEAN, NAW SAYIN . AND I WAS LIKE YOYOYOYOYO. THEN HE WAS LIKE THAT WAS GANG-BANG, BUT CHECK THIS. THEN HE SAID BLING BLANG BLING BLOOM BLING BLANG BLAMMER. WOW, WOW, JOHNNY C WON THE BATTLE BUT THE WAR IS NOT OVER. I MEAN "BLOOM" AND "BALMMER" THAT WAS HARDER THEN MY MANY YO'S. ANYWAY WE RODE IN DA BENZ, AND COUNTED FIDDIES AND SAW SOME TITTIES. YOU HATERADE SIPPIN BITCHES CAN SUCK A BOTTLE OF HATERADE WIT DA NIPPLE, LIME GREEN FLAVA NAW MEAN."

I believe the children are our future. This is our YOUTH!