videos

GOLGO 13 Mixtape Video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ3CHT5vy8E

It's a mixtape video! For Golgo 13, off of that Manga Music mixtape! Yesss!

It was "directed" by moi ("shoot that mess in my studio! Shoot me rapping! Awesome, sorted!") and also edited by moi in premiere Pro CS5, which I had never used before, and shot by Mighty Tom Coles the other faternoon. After we'd shit all that stuff in the studio, we got on a train to Brixton, where we linked with some OTHER PEOPLE and shot some OTHER MIXTAPE VIDEOS.

All hail mixtape videos! They are full of charm!

MORE CHARMING MIXTAPE VIDEOS COMING VERY SOON!

MORE HIGH CONCEPT MUSIC VIDEOS COMING VERY SOON!

We're shooting THREE high concept music videos for tracks from The Life Equation THIS WEEKEND, in fact. Does anyone have  akarate outfit they wanna lend me?

Speaking of clothes, MANGA MUSIC HOODIES ARE SHIPPING NOW! WORLDWIDE! IN MASSIVE JIFFY BAGS! I have been packing them up all day, I have sellotape cuts. Here's a true fact: I got all teary eyed earlier cos so many of you have chosen to spend your hard earned money in my lil shop. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

 

Akira The Don VS Chilly Gonzales: A Game Of Chess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gEqbZsPszs Remember the other week I said Chilly was coming round to play a game of chess? Well, here's the proof. Now, Dear Darling Joey neglected to put any of my really ILL moves in the video, but you should know that first blood was MINE, as was second, third, fourth, etc, and shit was looking pretty good for me for the whole first hour of the game. My defence soon crumbled after that, mind, and that Canadian swine toyed with me, as a cat might a mouse, for the last 15 minutes. At which point I had the brilliant idea of challenging him to a game of Street Fighter. Tragically my second controller ran out of battery, so the true whupping could not be administered... but you just wait. I went out and bought one of those controller chargers for £6.99 (you got £5 off it you bought an England Football team plastic figure for 5p), and next time that great big hairy Jewlord is in the building I am gonna clean his clock.

Shout out The Quietus!

Anyway. Today is kind of funky. I am doing more metadata. As you know, I recently got my entire back catalogue back, so its been taken down from the whole of the internet, and re-upped via my new label and distributor. I am also upping every single song I have ever done individually into my shop, and onto Soundcloud. Shit is REAL out here bubba. This afternoon I'm mixing ish for that compilation I asked you all about, and ATD25. It is not too late to sound of about stuff you might like in ANY OF these things. Website, compilation, whatever. I am, as always, your humble servant, after all.

Oh, and I have been taking an inventory also. If you start poking around the shop, you will notice things, like, THERE'S ONLY ONE PAIR OF HI-TOPS LEFT.

And THREE PAIRS OF PLIMSOLS.

And 5 iANDY SHIRTS.

AND SO ON!

Speaking of which, Zef got a handle on the new shop section for AkiraTheDon.com 5.0 last night, and it is looking SMART. We are gonna win some awards for this one, I am telling you. Oh, and shout out Soundcloud, who have been being very nice and helpful and have also been bumping When We Were Young this morning.

OK, back to work. You should go look at the cute old couple in the Blob Blog.

PAX!

“Hackney Wicked” : #RAGE!

We survived, dear reader! The hordes of art people descended upon our little home for three days of terrible music and the smashing of bottles of lager! And lo it was like the bit in the Magic Porridge Pot when the little village is flooded with porridge. But with worse music. Avast! Look, here's some footage I took last night at 11:30pm:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TbSxV80mcs

See? Exactly!

Anyway. We had a nice time actually. On Friday we hung out a bit and drank some ales, and on Saturday we watched Gonzales destroy the Bugged Out Tent at Field Day. Here he is with The Cock N Bull Kid. And yes, that's Mocky on the right. Forsooth!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN1YUUvvwcA

Cock N Bull kid recorded a song at Don Studios III a few years back, with Miss Odd Kid. I should dig that out and play it on The Doncast.

After that we escaped to my little brother's house in North London, where he and his lady were kind enough to beat us at Articulate. On Sunday we went to Ikea, and I had a meltdown in the carpark because I was hungry and nobody was taking my suggestions as to how to fit the bookcase in the car seriously, and the bastards were piping shit chart music with no bass and too much top end at too-high volumes.

Today Gonzales came round and we did some dope music for the Donzo mixtape.

This evening I played some Gay Tony and started doing some more Dondoodles. That's one up top.

Anyway. Enough of me. How are you?

I, Dynomatica

pekar OK, what was that? Oh, yeah! Yes, you are RIGHT, I DO need to be updating this EVERY DAY like I said I would in January! You're RIGHT! And I know, the site IS broken in that you can't navigate past the first page with the next page button and has been that way for ages and that is really ANNOYING and UNFAIR!

You see, those two things are, unfortunately enough, LINKED... because the problem I have right now is that if I post something on the main blog every day, in a week its off the frontpage, and therefore pretty much gone. And some stuff you want to hang around a bit, cos it's cool. That's why I created the Blob Blog in the first place - so I could post all those songs and videos and articles without wiping out my own lovingly crafted Premium Content out of existence. Of course, what has happened is that my main blog posts dont have too many links and things in them. And I bet there's a whole bunch of you that haven't even noticed the Blob Blog!

Well, all this was supposed to have been resolved about a year ago by akirathedon 5.0, but little Zef is taking his sweet ass time with that and we are all suffering as a result. I mean, you're RIGHT, dear reader, akirathedon.com is supposed to be the BEST ARTISTS' WEBSITE IN THE WORLD... and it certainly is a damn site better than pretty much every artists' site I can think of right now... but it certainly is NOT anywhere close to what it should be, and frankly, I am embarrassed by it (almost as much as the photos of me that pop up when you google image search me. How does one "fix" those rotten results?!).

Still, I have just upped the accapella, instrumental and clean versions of Nah Nah Nah ft. Gonzales. It's not like I'm sat on my ass watching The Daily Show or anything (RIP NinjaVideo, we pray for a resurrection). I stay busy like ants, baby. Indeed I do. But I do think that Nazi discipline needs to get reinstated. I need to finish that comic strip and get back into regular cartoonism. I need to be dropping something WORTHWHILE on this mainblog every day. I need to be getting the Doncast up as soon as its finished. I need to answer email quicker. I need to get my Twitter game back up.

Anything else? Do let me know where you think I'm slipping. I don't mind. You can be harsh.

Anyway. The gym is going well, thank you. That it forces me to cycle for over an hour most days makes it worthwhile, and I like hanging out with Jeres on the Jesus Machines and watching the Polish dudes going mental on the barbells. Speaking of which, Jeres and I had a wee rehearsal on Sunday for this gig we're doing on Friday, which was pretty sweet. We're having another few before the gig, as we wish to be Competent, and Well Rehearsed, and Tight, like a dickinthebutt (word to Nicki Minaj), which sounds like an archaic children's toy or something now I come to think of it. Dickinabutt that is. I can hear the theme song and everything. "Dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt!" Damn, what a joy to say that word is! Dickinabut! Whoo!

Hmm. I was supposed to be doing more Writing round these parts, wasn't I? Never mind. Check back tomorrow and we'll see what we can do. In the meantime, wrap your eyeballs around this video I did for Si Cranstoun's Dynamo, which is Out Soon. I'll drop the remix I did tomorrow. OK? Yeah? really? Aw, shucks, you guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFCsAajjHXk

Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner

Akira The Don & Chilly Gonzales, London, 2003

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q6XjJeTFJM

DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner (clean) DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner (accapella) DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner (instrumental) DOWNLOAD: Akira The Don - Nah Nah Nah ft Gonzales & Mary Turner (ALL!)

From ATD24.

ATD24: The Singles! Let's go!

We're gonna kick off with Nah Nah Nah. This shit is a classic already. I knew it was gonna be a classic the second I laid a drum break on top of that Serge Gansbourg sample at 06:08 am, June 23rd, just over an hour into the twenty four hour recording process of the mixtape. A few hours later Mary Turner and Chilly Gonzalaes walked into the studio and confirmed it.

I only just realised this is the first song me and Chilly have recorded together. We've performed together on stage - first time was at the Eden Project in 2002, where one of my buddies tagged Pulp's tour bus, igniting a short-lived Beef between the Sheffield indie stars and the Canadian supervillain, and the second was at The ICA in 2009, when I joined dude to do my verse from the Working Together remix - but never before on a record, in the same room.

Chilly Gonzales and the then Adam "Akira" Alphabet, 2002.

The song came together at awesome speed. We did the hook in about half an hour, including a vanguard of fine harmonies from Mary, and Gonzo aced his verse on the second take, before racing off to catch the Eurostar to Paris. Then at around 10pm my old school chum Ginge and The Mighty Jeres came round and added the guitars and sax. I mixed it at 4am, by which point I had gone a little mad, and deaf. But it sounded like a classic.

WATCH: Akira The Don - Be Brave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qbg_uOcC5q0

Download Be Brave here.

Finally! The Street Fighter Mixtape has some kind of visual representation! Shout out Joey and Karl who sent through the footage. It's from Street Fighter Legacy - an truly ridonculously ACE fan-made mini-movie. Fits the music like a  glove.

Of course, once I'd uploaded it, with the usual issues that rendering and uploading entails, keeping me up till 4am, I noticed that dozens of videos of my Street Fighter music were already on Youtube. Looks like people have been active out there. Big up you active Youtube uploaders! That's a beautiful thing right there!

Speaking of which, I was blessed this weekend when one of my favourite writers, The Authority and Transmetropolitan scribe Warren Ellis featured Be Brave on his podcast, explaining:

Akira The Don. AKIRA THE FUCKING DON. Was kind of amazed when this turned up, and I’m privileged to have this for the podcast.

I was like, DAAAAMN HOMIE! Actually, I already mentioned this in the Blob Blog, so go read about it there.

In other Be Brave related news, check out the Hype Machine's radio show later today - they just wrote to inform me they're doing a feature on our awesome feat of Number Oneage last week.

Right I am gonna draw something now, then you'll be getting more new music. These are the golden years!

Yessir. The Doncast comes back tomorrow. And best believe I won't be able to do that forever. So get your requests, your shout outs, your letters, all that good stuff, get that in sharpish, via the email address that reads thusly: akirathedon at googlemail.com.

Oh yeah - not only will be dropping NEW ISH later today, but we will also be announcing the winner of last week's Caption Contest. GO GO GO!

Did Lily Allen Rip Off Akira The Don?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7gQTK90q0Y

If you listened to this week's most excellent and righteous DONCAST you'll be up on this already, but if not, there's been an interesting discovery round these parts this week. A Michael Fitzgerald wrote me the following email:

I was just curious as to the association between your song off When We Were Young and the song "Him" from Lily Allen's newest album. I noticed there is an uncanny resemblance between the melody of these two songs and was wondering if they are simply based on the same sample or if you worked with her on the production of that particular song?

By the way, this about my favorite song off that album...always gets a positive reaction even here in Moscow, Idaho. Unfortunately, its a little hard to get a hold of your albums here in Idaho...

-Thanks,

Mike

Cheers Mike! Well, as you can hear in the clip above, I was entirely unaware of this - as was my special guest Joey2tits... so we had a listen to the songs to see if there really was any resemblance. In case your life has been tragically bereft so far, and you've never heard it, here's my '05 sunshine masterpiece , Oh What A Glorious Thing:

Amazing. And here's Lily Allen's Him, from 2009's It's Not Me, It's You

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

No WAY!

WOAH!

That was my initial reaction, anyway. Lily's song is evidently built around a replay of the same guitar loop my song is - the first few bars of Nico's gorgeous and lugubrious These Days. Now, its not unusual for people to sample similar things, no matter how obscure. What makes this ultra-suspect is the context - UK pop-rap, and the fact that the beat drops in exactly the same fashion, as does the bass. I played with Ms Allen when she was promoting her first album also. Oh yeah! AND! A couple of years ago my manager at the time had some meetings with Greg Kurstin who, having listened to my debut LP, was keen to work with me on my second. Scheduling conflicts stopped this from happening, however, as Kurstin was about to go into the studio with - yep - Lily Allen!

DAMN!

The big difference, of course, is that Oh! What A Glorious Thing has an amazing chorus, and Him has a horrible chorus.

What do you think?

SUPERHERO MUSIC

[sleeve id="8455"] WOOOO HOOO!

It is all but done!

I am giving it a once over now, then I'm gonna play it on the Doncast at 5pm GMT!

Then I am gonna do a final master tweak, render it and chop it and tag it and zip it and up it to preorderers. And finish the art. Then up the stream.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

The Akira The Don Guide To: Death’s Head

Sad but true.

Anyway.

I ADVISE YOU CLICK THAT THING TO READ IT ALL!

BIGGER IS BETTER!

ROB LIEFELD TAUGHT ME THAT!

HA!

Rah then. That was epic. This week I decided that doing a strip every day was taking too much of my time, so I figured I'd try one full page strip, instead of the three panel thing.  Well, the full page strip took a lot of time. Shock horror. Maybe I can get quicker at it. Anyway, I hope you like it, and that it wasn't a total waste of time. It was fun to do, anyway. PLUS, I Camstasia-ed the thing, so I can make a speed drawing video out of the thing.

So, what song should I use for the video? One of mine, obs. Answers in the comments. If I use one of your suggestions I'll send you my OG Death's Head sketch.

Indeed, it has been an arty week. I sold Happiness, which made me feel legitimate at drawing - pretty dumb whichever way you look at it, but still. Packaging that seven year old drawing in a stiff cardboard tube was emotional, for all manner of reasons I haven't the time to ponder. It was cleansing as well. On to the next. That period is done, and this one is happening, and it is awesome and fun and exciting. Learn, yes, build, yes, but if you catch me spending any serious amount of time looking back, belt me.

OK?

Cheers!

Anyway. I well enjoyed the Doncast this week, so I am looking forward to the next one. We'll be doing Our Tune again, so send in your stories and your songs - akirathedon at googlemail.com. ALSO! When we reach 300 live listeners, I am going to get my band in and do a gig for you. I have an exciting vision for how to do it which I am not going to elaborate on for fear of being ripped off before it happens. OK? So get ready. It's gonna be ace.

OK. Back to work. I am gonna speed up this footage. Tell me what song to use! My brain is mush!

PAX!

EDIT: Here's the video. Raydome won. WHOOOO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11aVDdn8llM

Coming UP!

Hey gang! I am working hard on this week's comic strip, listening to all the Curren$y songs on my hard drive, and camtasing the thing so you can watch it later. In the meantime, why don't you sit back with a nice glass of some kind of liquid, and watch the best film that might win an Oscar this year. Sick quality over here, if you can't be doing with the flash, and you can buy it to keep for ever (and you'll wanna) here. PAX!

Security

Akira The Don – Security Initially sent to preorderers of ATD20/Security T. Appeared on ATD20 Jan 29th 2010.

All praises due to The Independent Content Company, for filming that awesome thing up there! And coming up with the idea. And editing it. And rendering it. And uploading it. The Independent Content Company is pretty much the greatest Independent Content Company I have ever worked with. WOW!

All praises due to the most high for providing us with exactly what we wanted to make the thing. All we had to do was go for a wander around the Olympic Development Site, and we found everything, including a high rez jacket. Truly amazing, cheers multiverse.

You'll notice that's a totally different version to the one in the flash player, that got sent to preorderers, and appeared on ATD20. This was all Joey's idea, and an awesome one it was. For those that have been asking, yes, it is a true story. I used to wonder why so many terrible things kept happening to me. Well, in retrospect, I realise it might have been because I was doing so many terrible things. When I stopped doing terrible things, terrible things stopped happening to me! I have been blessed with wonderful fortune ever since. Let that serve as a warning to you all!

Now, if anyone knows how to karmically attract great riches, do share with us all in the comments.

Comic strip later on. We're finishing off the Sac VS Pip remix right now. IT IS SO CHOICE! From the feedback I've been getting, lots of you are very excited that I am doing a Sav VS Pip remix. Who else would you like me to have a go on, so to speak?

Oh, and a fabulous No Prize goes to whoever can work out what comic I am reading in my lonely booth up there. CLUE: "Illness."

ATD20 - The Mixtape

Get the CDQ MP3 bundle here.

Get the MP3 + T-Shirt here.

Bare Necessities 2!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k37_-aNv2pw Well, it's 4:24am and I'm still reinstalling stuff after today's freakout, oh the joy, which means my song-a-day plus comic plan has had a spanner lobbed in it. No fear though - Bare Necessities will just have to last two days, and the ATD20 focus can run through 'till Saturday. Ha! I have the skills! Eat that disruptive forces! You can't knock my hustle! I am an awesome daily content MACHINE!

Aw man, I have the best comic strip for this sketched out as well. Hopefully I can wake up early, and Manga Studio's downloaded, so I can ink it, before I rewrite the Sac VS Pip remix I lost in that horrible aforementioned incident. MACHINE I TOLD YERS!

Sleepy machine.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Announcing! First Mixtape Of The Decade... ATD20!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pxhonI7Xtw

Above these words, above the amazing by of graphic design appropriation, you can see fine-ass footage, (by The Independent Content Company) of me going in over some Joey2tits magic for the forthcoming mixtape-to-end-all-mixtapes, ATD20.

Yeah, you heard right. January 29th, 2010. ATD20!

20!!!

Who'd a thunk it bubba? Who'd have known we'd make it this far, when I dropped the now legendary ATD1 back on May 20th 2004, inventing both myself and the internet mixtape in the process? A bunch of records I liked, smashed into each other with all the skill and subtlety of a three year old wielding a lumphammer. Raw, off the dome, just-learned-to rapping. Jim Steinman. EXPLOSIONS. Over the years I used these mixtapes to hone my craft, to experiment, to collaborate, to be as awesome as I possibly could at the time... Now here we are in the Tenties.  What have we learned? What skills have we amassed?

YOU ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT!

It's a celebration! Get ready for the mixtape to define all mixtapes! 70 plus minutes of unparalleled, Don-certified AWESOME! Brand new songs! Amazing remixes! Soundscapes to frighten the gods! Old friends! New friends! Special guests! FREAKOUT!

ATD20 will be availiable as 1 track MP3, and a CD Quality 320kbps MP3 bundle, which you can get along with the ATD Security shirt.

Preorder CDQ MP3 bundle here.

Preorder MP3 + T-Shirt here.

All preorders get an exclusive song, Security, to be sent out next week sent out immediately by SEXY ROBOT.

PS - If you already preordered the shirt, you get ATD20 as well. I AM NICE LIKE THAT.

PPS - My Webcam came, so the Doncasts will be back this week, and there will be More Info. Whoo!

A Video For Steven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55mnf_unsmU Here it is then. I have been meaning to put together a visual for my tribute to The Greatest Who Ever Did It for a while now, but Kieron Gillen's inclusion of the song in his top 40 of 2009, and the revelation via Paul O'Regan that it was the only song on that list not on Youtube spurred me on.

The thing was SUPPOSED to be simple, but I ended spending till 4am last night and all day today (well, yesterday now, technically) on it. As is my wont. AND I AM GLAD I DID! Cos it's ace. So cheers Kieron and Paul!

I really should big up Clipnabber as well. BIG UP CLIPNABBER!

And while we're in the giving mood (we are, right?) someone was asking for that Sage/Babybird/Sleeper/etc mashup thing that was on Third Hand Wire Riffs and ATD19 the other day, right?

Well here it is.

Happy Wednesday!

Next: ATD20. Work has begun. I'm in a celebratory mood, and I have a deciversarry coming up. Kool Kid and P Mo know what Im talking about. WE ARE DEEP IN THIS  RAP GAME LIKE METAPHORS! Think again before you blink again!

And with that I shall  leave you with the best comment I have seen all year, found at the bottom of an article about how that hacker guy the yanks wanna lock up for 70 years found evidence of aliens and stuff in NASA's system:

"i have evidence of a conspiracy not only to cover up ufo´s and aliens but also the worldwide crisis happening today, there has been major cover ups of "aliens" visiting "our" planet. it is not our planet it is theirs and they plan to keep it that way by controlling the government, i plan to unravel more of this conspiracy and to reveal it also"

Well, what are you waiting for man? Spit it out! Sheeee-it!

PS - Christopher Lee is releasing a "symphonic metal album" in March. Are YOU?

PPS - Here's a letter Morrissey wrote to a music rag in 1978 about how The Cramps made The Police "seem like a great big sloppy bowl of mush" and how their drummer is "the most compelling in rock history.

ADVENT 18: It's A Wonderful Life / Am I Still Ill?

YES!

I am.

COUGH!

SNIFF!

ETC!

Still, I am much better than yesterday, which I spent IN BED.

Pyeewm, pyeewm!

Lazer!

And if I had a laptop that worked, I might have watched the film you see above, It's A Wonderful Life, what is prolly my favourite film ever, or at least in the top 5, depending on what day it is. Somehow that film gets better every time I see it. True stories! Apparently it's showing at Screen On The Green in Islington on Christmas Eve. If my Ebay sales go well, that's me sorted. IMAGINE!

Rah.

Cough though. Still Ill. I still haven't sampled that frickin' song.

That was gonna be the name of my second album, ages and ages ago.

I'll get on it at some point.

It's on the list.

Man, the list.

What a scary thing THAT is.

Hey, you like the snow?

It snowed hard last night. I didn't notice cos I was ILL in BED as you know already. Today I see it settled atop the roofs of cars outside my window, and it gives me a little pleasure.

I gotta say, being ill when you have a person that cares about you in the house is way better than being ill when you're alone. I used to hate being ill when I was running dolo. Now I have a beautiful girl to bring me chocolate and make sympathetic noises. Lucky mud!

So, if you're ever ill dolo leave a message on here. You're not alone!

Rah though, I better get back to the drawing. I gotta finish these avatars, and get on with designing the new video looky.

Can somebody suggest some good long things to listen to? Podcasts, mixtapes, that sort of thing?

Cheers!

Akira The Don – It Could Never Happen Here

Rah then. Inspired by a stray thought that popped out of James Harrison's head during rehearsal a few weeks back, I give to you my video for It Could Never Happen Here, a song I started writing in 2005, the first of a planned series of Dystopias, that would one day form an opera, of sorts. It was also, at one point, going to be on When We Were Young. It went through a number of changes in the interim - at one point Madison was singing on it, and it was set in 2029, rather than the unnamed dim distant future it now resides in. The video above was edited by me, and the footage was taken from my all time favourite anime, Gunnm, AKA Battle Angel Alita, one of the most moving pieces of art ever did I witness. Enjoy.

It Could Never Happen Here is taken from the I Am Not Dead (Yeah!) EP. Get yours here.

BANKERS, Part 162

Did you hear the news yesterday?

Banks have achieved a surprise victory this morning when the supreme court ruled that the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) did not have the power to determine the fairness of unauthorised bank charges.

The ruling on a case between the OFT and seven banks and one building society was to determine whether the fees charged for unauthorised overdrafts could be tested under the Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations 1999.

The supreme court found that while the OFT has power to assess the fairness of terms in consumer contracts, this is subject to limits laid down in this legislation. Regulation 6(2)(b) states that the assessment of the fairness of a term in a contract "shall not relate … to the adequacy of the price or remuneration, as against the goods or services supplied in exchange". In other words the "value for money" equation is excluded.

The court of appeal had held that this exclusion only applied to the "core terms" of the contract and not to ancillary terms such as the charges for unauthorised overdrafts.

But the supreme court overturned this ruling, finding that the charges for unauthorised overdrafts were part of the price customers paid for banking, and therefore fell within this exclusion.

The decision is a blow to more than about 1.2 million current account customers who had already lodged claims on unauthorised overdraft fees paid as far back as 2001, but which had been put on hold by the banks until conclusion of the case.

Chief executive of consumer group Which?, Peter Vicary-Smith, said: "This is a bitter blow for the millions of people who have been patiently waiting to get their bank charges back.

"Not only does it give banks licence to charge what they like for unauthorised overdrafts, but it could have ramifications for other areas of personal finance. The banks now have no excuse for introducing other fee charges.

Basically, they've used OUR "bailout" money to secure a legal victory meaning they won't have to pay us back the money they stole off us.

WANKERS!

Speaking of which, there's a great interview with Simon Cowel from 2007 over at Playboy, which I was lead to via a Popjustice article. Mr Cowell, who has "gorilla hair" according to children on Twitter, is typically brazen in the interview, claiming his only concern is "making money, for myself and the people I work for. I mean, that's absolutely the only criterion I attach. That's it."

He says lots of other things too. Here are some of my favourites.

"If you looked in my collection of DVDs, you'd see Jaws and Star Wars. In the book library you'd see John Grisham and Sidney Sheldon. And if you look in my fridge, it's like children's food--chips, milk shakes, yogurt. I don't have sophisticated tastes. I have average tastes."

"If I went to a French restaurant--which I probably never will again--I would ask the chef to make a plate of chips. I look at those menus in utter horror. I find them appalling."

"Do I prefer Kelly Clarkson's music to Bob Dylan's? Yes. I've never bought a Dylan record. A singing poet? It just bores me to tears. And I've got to tell you, if I had 10 Dylans in the final of American Idol, we would not be getting 30 million viewers a week."

"I'm not interested in signing murderers. Other people sign murderers. I think a lot of rap acts have murdered people."

"People thought I was stupid for signing the music rights to the Power Rangers and the World Wrestling Federation. I was a laughingstock. I couldn't have cared less. I was learning the business. If I could put a Power Rangers record on the charts, I must have been good."

"Guys reach a point in our lives when we prefer TV to music. I have six TVs in my London house, including a little one in the bathroom. It's my favorite time for watching TV."

"There's something I call the daytime test. If you take a girl out at night, it's a breeze. You can drink; it's dark. The daytime is a whole new area. [Terri Seymour] passed the daytime test."

And finally!

Playboy: If you went to a club tonight and saw the 21-year-old Dylan singing "Blowin' in the Wind," what would you do?

Cowell: I'd plug my ears and run in the other direction.

Akira The Don ft Littles, Marvin The Martian & Gruff Rhys - I Am not Dead (Yeah Remix!)

Thanks to everybody who suggested zombie anime for me to rifle through. I the end I chopped up lots of episode one of Tokyo Majin. Tokyo Majin is super dope.

I am Not Dead (Yeah Remix!) is on the I Am Not Dead (Yeah!) EP, out now on MP3 and T-Shirt.

deadepdeadt

Whooo! Zombie anime FTW!

Speaking of win, I received some pretty awesome news yesterday.

I have made it into the annuls of science!

I know this because I got an email from Dr Edd Hammill in Canada with the title, "You've made it into the annuls of science." And it went a little something like this:

Dear Akira the Don…

Over a year ago I got in touch with you from the University of Victoria in British Columbia, Canada, as a bunch of us Ecology people were at a conference in London and we were wondering if you were playing at the time, don't know if you remember, but anyhoo.

Well, following the brief discussion that we had and so forth and due to the fact that your doncasts and mixtapes kept us all entertained during very long and dull data collection sessions I decided that the next time I published a paper essentially on my own I would stick you in the acknowledgements, and lo and behold, I got one in. I've had confirmation that my article "Reciprocity in predator–prey interactions: exposure to defended prey and predation risk affects intermediate predator life history and morphology" has been published in the Ecology Journal "Oecologia" and you are indeed in the acknowledgements and will remain there for all time, the article will be published in paper form sometime next year. I suppose you could consider this the science world's equivilent of a "big shout out".

thanks

BIG SCIENCE SHOUT OUT! Owwwww! How dope is that? I AM IN THE ANNULS OF SCIENCE! And shall remain there for ALL TIME! Whoo! You know how long all time is? LONG! That's how! BLOODY LONG! Bwa ha ha! As noted in the above remix, you could go "blap blap blap"... I am IMMORTAL! In your FACE mortality! Win on a stick! Yes. Seriously, thank you Dr Edd Hammil in Canada, and all your clever science wizard brothers and sisters. Your scientific energy inspires me, and I shall endeavour to be deserving of the accolade you have bestowed upon me.

TO THE FUTURE! And BEYOOOOOND!

WATCH: Gonzales VS Jarvis Cocker - Francophobia (Live At The Pigalle)

Yep, that's right. It was the first night of Gonzales' month long residency at swank central, The Pigalle in Picadilly last night, and, as you can see, his special guest was Jarvis Cocker.

It was grayte, obviously. As you can see. Alongside the two songs Gonz and Jarvo did, Gonz unveiled a new tune, from his forthcoming Boyz Noize mixed LP, which sees him adopting a new, spoken-work rap steez, on a brillaint joint about REVENGE..,. I think he might play that again next week, when his special guest is me.

Yeah, from Jarvis Cocker to Akira The Don. Thank Christ its sold out already, otherwise I'd have been worrying about nixing it right up until stage time on the night. This is gonna be my fourth time sharing a stage with with the big homie, and I am no less nervous than ever I was. We're gonna go out tonight and work out what to do. It must be great. Great great. Da-naaaa.

Also tonight, me and the band will be checking out the boat we're having a party on. So I'll let you know how that goes. I am excited about our party. It's been too long already, dammit.