the indelicates


Dear friends!

I am just back off tour and sobbing at the sight of my inbox, but never mind that because WE ARE HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT!

Because parties are awesome. And my album just came out, and it is amazing. And it is imperative that we celebrate the crap out of that fact.


We will be partying hard in the honour of THE LIFE EQUATION from 7pm tonight, June 2nd at Concrete, which is underneath Pizza East on Shoreditch High Street.

All star DJs include

Eddy Temple-Morris! Stephen Hague! DJ Jack Nimble! Joey2tits! Blonde Jeremy!

Performing live on the night will be

Akira The Don! Envy! Big Narstie! Marvin The Martian! Pixel! Littles! The Indelicates! White Witches!

Blimey! What fun we will have! The thing kicks off at 7pm and not a second will be wasted. We are gonna film the whole thing too and make a movie. So be there or be full of sadness! THE LIFE EQUATION FOR THE ULTIMATE VICTORY!

Get your tickets here.

Facebook page is here.

Suddenly, I Need Shoes!

Me showing Max the buttons. Photo by hughepaul. More here

Good morning gang! Today is a good day, since we all woke up, and for that we must be thankful. Praise Tarim!

Indeed, my throat is sore and my head is fuzzy, but this is what happens when you play strange, chaotic, unrehearsed Ballsacks To The Digital Economy Bill shows in Camden, which is what I did last night. Big up everyone that came down and witnessed the fitness, big up my DJ for the night Max Akira de Wardener, Son Of Zen Pyramid, who is 14 and had NEVER TOUCHED A PAIR OF CDJs before in his LIFE and flipping TORE IT DOWN like a TRUE G, and big up The Indelicates, who came onstage and played a gang of songs with me without ever having done it before. Pretty awesome. SKILLED MUSICIANS! Yes indeed. We did a number of things that have never been done live before, like Security, which was ace with Julia's Piano, and Steven Wells (He Was The Greatest). Last time I was in The Monarch it was for his Life Celebration Party, so it was only right.

Also big up Dan Bull, who did his first ever show last night - I pressed play on the CDJs for him and chopped in little bits of Price songs without warning - and Lilly Ray. I'd never heard Lilly before, and she had some great songs. I need to investigate her further. Thank you Author Girl too, for holding down the merch stand and loaning me those headphones made out of tiny Easter chicks. Amazing.

Also, I THINK the livestream worked. I was running around too much to be able to check in, but as far as I could tell it was streaming anyway. How was it for you out in internetsville?

Littles was supposed to come, you know. Lucky I suspected him to FAIL and never announced him. He rang me just now to inform me that he was knackered after playing paintball for a Channel U, sorry, Channel AKA show all day. "It was nuts fam," he said, as excited as one can sound when evidently Very Tired. "They was sneaking about behind trucks but I got Ghetts and Scorcher good. We lost though fam. I only got shot in the leg, but Narstie got shot in the head."

I was also amazed to learn that they theme paintball these days. The theme? Afghanistan. WOW.

Rah though, right now I have to run to Oxfam or something and find some SHOES, as I am going to The Ritz to celebrate my girlfriend's Mother's 60th birthday, and they don't let you in without shoes. SHOES, not trainers. Can you believe I have no shoes? Amazing. I have some cowboy boots, but the heels are all worn away, diagonal, and they make me walk like an inverse-John Wayne. I also need to find a tie. What's this Ritz like anyway? The only Ritz I have any familiarity with one puts cheese on. Damn, I used to love those things. I could eat a whole box in under an hour.

Ah, memories.

PS - Anyone got a photo/image from last night with which to illustrate this post?

March 24th, The Monarch, London w. The Indelicates, Dan Bull & More

THIS WEDNESDAY! The Open Rights Group will be leading a demonstration against David Geffen and Peter Mandelson’s Dastardly Digital Economy Bill at Old Palace Yard, London opposite Parliament, next to Westminster Abbey. Read more about it here. Afterwards there will be a GIG/PARTY at The Monarch in Camden, which I will be performing at, in some sort of DJ/Emcee capacity. Also playing live will be The Indelicates, and Dan Bull. TICKETS ARE HERE!

The Monarch 40-42 Chalk Farm Road Camden, London NW1 8BG United Kingdom

Press Release

23rd March, 2010

For Immediate Release
Musical Artists Opposed To Digital Economy Bill Play "Stop Disconnection" Show
Stop Disconnection Gig
March 24th, The Monarch, Camden, from 7:30pm
Stop Disconnection Demonstration
March 24th, Old Palace Yard, 5:30pm
A group of artists who have been vocal in their opposition to the government's 'Digital Economy Bill' - currently awaiting its second reading in the House Of Commons - will play a one-off gig in Camden following a demonstration outside parliament tomorrow, March 24th.
The Indelicates, Akira The Don and Dan Bull have all used the internet to their advantage in their attempts to build careers in music and are disturbed by the Digital Economy Bill which threatens fans with disconnection, places unreasonable demands on ISPs, restricts the development of new models for the sale of music and stands as a threat to the rights of all in the digital age.
Speaking today, Indelicates' guitarist Simon Indelicate said:
"It has become a devalued cliche of protest to declare that a government action is 'Not in My name' - but, as an artist struggling to find a way to be paid for my work in the new economic climate created by the internet, I repeatedly see this bill being promoted in my name and I am disgusted by it.
By attending the demo tomorrow, and by performing at the gig afterwards, I want to send a clear message to the Business Secretary, the Leader of the Commons and all MPs who support this bill that I do not want it passed and I do not agree either that I will be benefited by it or that its draconian measures are needed to protect my copyright."
Dan Bull, who has rocketed to internet fame after releasing several videos critical of the Bill  including 'Dear Lily' - a rap letter to Lily Allen, taking issue with her support for harsh measures against filesharers - will be performing one of his first live sets at the gig.
Acclaimed Rapper Akira The Don, who has built a large following online with his exemplary website at will also be appearing.
The protest and show come hot on the heels of an open letter published in the guardian and signed by The Indelicates alongside Billy Bragg, Caroline Lucas, Graham Linehan, Peter Tatchell, a number of MPs and Lords, the Open Rights Group's Jim Killock and opendemocracy's Anthony Barnett which noted the danger that the Bill will be rushed through without full parliamentary scrutiny and asked that:
"those most controversial parts of the bill – covering "technical measures" and court orders for website blocking – either be properly debated, or be taken out of the bill and subjected to genuine democratic scrutiny in a new parliament."
For more on the Demo and the Digital Economy Bill see:
For More on the artists involved see:
The Indelicates
Akira The Don
Dan Bull
To read more by Simon Indelicate on the Bill see:

23rd March, 2010For Immediate Release Musical Artists Opposed To Digital Economy Bill Play "Stop Disconnection" Show

Stop Disconnection GigMarch 24th, The Monarch, Camden, from 7:30pm Stop Disconnection DemonstrationMarch 24th, Old Palace Yard, 5:30pm

Envy, Open Rights and Leaving The House!

So, my buddy Envy's single Nadine is out today. It's about Morty you know. Go get that thing! The video is here. I am in it. Rocking out. See that photo up there? That's the day we filmed it, during the strange, short period a few months back when I WASN'T BLONDE. Oh my days! That's Morty, AKA Nadine on my shoulders. Envy is to the right of my red elbow. You know this though, right? RIGHT! Happy times!

ANYWAY! Envy's debut LP, the awesome Set Yourself on Fire is out next week. Preorder that here. I produced a song on it (as noted in last week's Metro, where I was called "maverick" again). It's a great song. It's called Lullabye. Envy's having her LP launch do in London this Thursday at Cargo. I am hosting the event, which should be fun. I used to compere a lot of gigs back in the early 00s, mainly PlayLouder events. I'd get mad drunk and run onstage screaming. It did the trick, which was to get people hyped for the bands. Nothing gets people hyped for bands better than screaming at them, trust me.

So, you can read the details of the launch do here, but trust me, its gonna be ace. Me and Envy might perform Nothing Lasts Forever, our duet from my forthcoming second LP as well. That one makes people cry cos it's DEEP LIKE ABYSS.




Next Wednesday, March 24th (ARGH! TIME IS SLIPPING AWAY FROM ME! ARGH!) The Open Rights Group will be leading a demonstration against David Geffen and Peter Mandelson's Dastardly Digital Economy Bill at Old Palace Yard, London opposite Parliament, next to Westminster Abbey. Read more about it here. Afterwards there will be a GIG/PARTY at The Monarch in Camden, which I will be performing at, in some sort of DJ/Emcee capacity with Joey2tits. Playing live will be The Indelicates, Chris TT and Dan Bull. TICKETS ARE HERE!

So, I totally left the house on Saturday, which was hard to bring myself to do, as I was having a perfectly nice time colouring in my Corey Haim strip, and I have a lot of work to do for Superhero Music... but I am glad I  did. My buddy Matt Muir took me to see fellow Brummy wordsmith Polarbear, performing his new one man movie about The Old Country, The Return, at Battersea Arts Centre, and it was BRILLIANT and MOVING and HUGELY EVOCATIVE.

I mean, I could totally relate to the themes - leaving one's home to go and do something creative in the big city, coming home and seeing the girl you loved working in the supermarket, running into old aquantances who assume you're all rah rah posh, rich and up yourself now, and the bittersweet, all consuming blizzard of emotion that comes with it. Oh, that beautiful and terrible longing for a home you rejected that comes in later years! The Welsh have a word for that feeling. They call it hiraeth. Yeah, I could relate. That the thing was set in places I USED TO LIVE added a whole other dimension to the experience.

Indeed, I was so moved I preceded to get hammered on red wine, and woke up in desperate agony on Matt's sofa the next day, the colour of an old toilet bowl. I don't think my liver works very well these days. So I shall attempt to take it easy on Thursday.


Road To Redemption

brit-scum Can I get a HELL YEEEEYAH?!

I lost the past 6 months of work on Saturday when both my harddrives bricked like the last G Unit album. I shall refrain from going batshit on the manufacturers asses while we sort out what they're gonna do about it. And I gotta tell you, I was a zen motherfucker when it happened. I did not shout, swear, scream or cry. I got on with it.

First off was redrawing the second illustration I've been commissioned to do for this new time travel movie that's coming out. I was on deadline, and you know how I hate to miss a deadline. More on that soon. Ideally I'd have spent more time on the thing - there was a bunch of detail I'd have liked to have done... but shit, it looks pretty dope anyway, if I do say so myself.

Now, amongst other things, it's time to focus on re-recording the bulk of the pre-Life Equation mixtape. This thing needs to be the best thing I have ever released,  prior to the album, which is Ultimate (no Jeph Loeb - geek joke). All ideas welcome! The thing has a name and a concept that ties in directly to the album, but I'm a keep that under my hat for a little bit. We're looking at a March release, so I got a fortnight to get it done. I am excited to be making new music again. It feels like ages, even if it isn't.

So, I noticed the "free" toilet papers that litter the London transport system screaming about some crazy British victory at the Grammy's yesterday, on route to a meeting with Dr Gerd Lohnart (futururist, revolutionary, geezer) in central London yesterday. I was like, hot shit, did Sac VS Pip win something? Chipmunk? The Indelicates?

Of course not. The Inevitable Coldplay. The Incomparably Costly Duffy. The Brit School's Adlele.


As Ben Wardle noted recently whilst musing on the snug safeness of this year's Who's Gon' Be Hot lists,  "both Duffy and Adele were heavily invested in - certainly Duffy had to happen, the financial consequences would have just been too dreadful to contemplate if it hadn't worked."

Yes sir. As the world turns, the music industry hangs on to its crumbling business model like Momma to the Train... pick a fistful of inoffensive clay, mash into desired shape, and lob stacks of cash at it until the general public gives in and sighs, "well, sheeeeet, this gotsta be good".

Jack Nimble's little brother Ben Official wrote an amusing diatribe about "Brit Robots" over at the sublimely titled the other day:

With 10 million albums sold in the UK, 16 Brit Award nominations and 14 Grammy nominations between them, graduates of the Brit School in Selhurst, south London have become some of the biggest names in pop. (Don't that make you sick!?)

...Although i am a fan Of Amy [Winehouse]'s music and wish her good health, you gta ask is this a Brit school girl who just couldn't handle the pressure. I can easily say that Amy Winehous is the biggest talent from the school of robots...

My question to you, ALL OF YOU! is are we going to sit by and let a school for ppl who can hit a drum in the right place or hit the c# note control Britains biggest Export! It's a recession a good crop of artists and music could really keep morale up in this land of the Beatles and....Fuck i aint got time to list this countrys greatest Artists you know who they are and they ae not: Leona Lewis Katie Melua The Kooks The Feeling Kate Nash Bashy Adele Jack Mcmanus Athlete Floetry Dane Bowers Aggro Curls Ye i left Amy's name out, I LIKE HER MUSCI WHAT!!!??? People of ENGLAND RISE UP SAY NO TO CHANNEL U!, NO TO THE BRITS, NO TO NICK GRIMSHAW AND ALEXA CHUNG!(YE I HATE THEM TOO! I GOT HATE IN ME) JUST SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Quite. Used to be, the only routes to the Good Life for the UK's working class were Pop Music and Football. And now a career pop music is the privelege of the sons and daughters of the rich and famous, and their Brit Schooled chums. The rest of us got our work cut out. Good job we're some creative, intuative, forward thinking swine out here in Metered Gas Land. It's up to us to carve a new way through the pile of rotting corpses dumped on the culture by Ye Ole Musique Industry. I think we're up to the job. But we gotta pull together, like Zoolander. Only we can save the world.

Let's get it!

In other news,

The Foreign Office is to fund a television advertising campaign in Pakistan to get across the message that Britain is not "anti-Islamic."

According to the Guardian, the £400,000 campaign, titled 'I am the west', will feature a number of prominent British Muslims including communities minister Sadiq Khan and run for three months.

Sheeet. It's gonna take more than £400,000 and some Uncle Thomases to convince them brown folks we don't hate their God and their way of life more than we hate dentists and The French combined. Maybe The Foreign office might try convincing Our Glorious Leaders to stop murdering brown babies for a little while. Just a thought. I'm throwing that out there. You can have that one for free, but get at my manager if you want me to come down there and Consult your ign'ant asses.


Cambridge Akira The Don & The Indeliactes was amazing! Photos coming in the morning with any luck. BIG UP EVERYBODY!


OK, Zef's trying to get this new photo infrastructure in place, but its proving tricky. So no big wodge of photos just yet, Just one (cheers Rachel!). Anyway. Like I said, we had a great time last night in Cambridge, and would like to thank everybody involved.

I was a bit worried when Jeres rang me at 11am slurring violently and admitting to not having been to sleep yet. But Nosleepdrunk or no, dude played ace, and so did Jeres and Mary (who had slept, and weren't full of pop). Those that weren't there! You missed a bunch of songs that have never been played live like Giro and Thieving. Shit is sounding mad good with bass AND guitar. AND you missed a very hot crowd. AND you missed The Indelicates. Or is it Indelicates?

I don't know. Rude drunk Jeres accused Simon Indelicate of being a poor man's Luke Haines, which was both mean and partially inaccurate. The (is it "The" OR WHAT?!) Indelicates are so much more than that! They are amazing! I can't be bothered going into music journo mode right now, so I shall draw from The Svenhunter's Playlouder review of their debut LP, American Demo, which is out next week.

They’ve really gone for it here, have The Indelicates; this is a real event of an album. From the orchestral prologue echoing the epic, bitter love song at the centre (‘New Art For The People’), to the audacious and anthemic opener ‘The Last Significant Statement to be Made in Rock ‘n’ Roll’, to its sister song, the unruly climactic excellence called ‘We Hate The Kids’, and the touching, brittle epilogue, again recounting the central themes of love, music, and hope, (and sweeping up the shards of them): “the chilled wind blows the flyers past the stage doors where we stand /so much for you, so much for me, so much for undying loyalty / I sold you and you sold me, exactly as we planned”.

The journey takes us through an unlikely pairing of watertight guitar pop and bitter, witty satire; the target is society in general, but the music industry is never far away.

A post-feminist headache, Julia Indelicate’s ‘Our Daughters Will Never Be Free’ is over to soon, but packs so much weight into each sentence that it excuses its brevity:

“…have photographs taken to make us look dead… / lift up your top: got to use what you’ve got… / It’s all tongue in cheek anyway.”

Better to Know’ is a more relaxed affair altogether and sets the (uneven) pace of the album with a foot-tapping, hand-clapping condemnation of the ignorance-is-bliss attitude celebrated by pop music’s frequent adulation of vapid nonsense; “The truth’s a haunting, taunting mistress – she ain’t been good to me”, sings Simon Indelicate, yet insists it’s good to be aware of “the elephant in your living room, the fascist in your bed.”

Songwriting duties are shared more-or-less fifty-fifty and by the end of twin towers ‘Sixteen’ and ‘Julia, We Don’t Live in the Sixties’ (both singles), there’s already been enough to convince me of this album’s worth. Both work on several levels; the former celebrates and satirises rock ‘n’ roll’s impractical, unrealistic, often paedophilic obsession with youth (see also The Teenagers), and the latter laments the death of protest culture while claiming “We’ve never had it so good – life is sweet!”

Indeed. If things were wrong, surely people would complain? It’s like that hogwash adage: “If it was so important you wouldn’t have forgotten it.” Try telling that to anyone with Alzheimer’s.

The slower songs lack none of the punch of the poppier indie-disco fodder: take the opening line of 'Stars', par example: “I’m in love with the boy next door, he treats me like a filthy whore.” And then there’s the fanboy-baiting ‘If Jeff Buckley Had Lived’, a cruelly perceptive ‘What If…’ that beats any issue of the Marvel Comics series.

The fortunate truth is that everything here is noteworthy. These are songs that can be played again and again, and yet still surprise you. They’re songs you actually want to learn the words to. I mean, did you hear the recent single, ‘America’?

Perhaps it’s unfair to dwell on the lyrics. Inevitably you can’t make them out much live, and yet the one time I’ve seen The Indelicates live, the songs lost none of their arresting nature, their power, simplicity and perfect crafting. (And the band’s fantastic.) The dual/duel verses of ‘New Art For The People’ and the respective poetry of guitar, piano, and voices form a love song that makes you want to vomit, though not for the usual reasons. It’s a ‘Fairytale of New York’ for the 21st century, and an all-encompassing summary of the album's critique of the rock 'n' roll game.

Julia’s voice is at its best here, breaking from the pop-perfect sweetness-and-light and revealing a more powerful side. Simon’s recalls their admitted (indeed oft-repeated) influences of Carter USM and The Auteurs. In fact, it’s safe to say that if you hate those bands, or hold any particular grudge against indie music in the 90s, you’ll have trouble with The Indelicates.

Having just read Carter USM’s autobiography (‘Goodnight Jim Bob’), it’s really quite clear what a laughably horrific thing the music business is, and in some ways the bizarre major-label presence of bands like Carter was probably a significant part of the journey to where we are now, wherever that is. Could Carter be big today? Who knows. Art Brut are on Mute, but EMI (accidentally) release their singles.

The Indelicates will release ‘American Demo’ (named because (and I’m paraphrasing here) “that’s what every UK indie debut is”) on Weekender Records, after a few singles on their own label. Weekender Publishing commences trading this year too. As far as I’m aware none of the big boys have snapped up the label yet, and whether or not they’d go anywhere near The Indelicates is anybody’s guess.

And yet the fact remains that these songs are some of the most radio-friendly savage attacks on the UK music industry to date.

Pretentious perhaps, but it’s a good argument for aiming high, and accepting disappointment as an inevitability of an artistic endeavour, as opposed to aiming low, and avoiding it: “It’s better to know”, indeed.

It could be said that we’ve heard a lot of it before, (not least because versions of about 8 tracks were previously released), but the production work is strong as Araldite (actually, I can never get Araldite to work, let’s say superglue). And this concentration of passion and song writing prowess is all too uncommon.

The punchy, piano-driven bass line that heralds the arrival of last track proper, ‘We Hate The Kids’, quakes like the cup of water in Jurassic Park as the Tyrannosaurus Rex approaches, and the climax is breath-taking, (though perhaps I’ll stop quoting their post-modern observational black comedy as it works better with accompanying music).

This is an important album – nothing and nobody will convince me otherwise.


Doncast 9: v5

Hey kids! Welcome one and all TO.... Version 5! The brand new website, from Akira The Don and The Wizard Of Zef!

Obviously (duh!), it is a work in progress. So your feedback and suggestions are most welcome.

To celebrate, I made you a new podcast. Check that shit out. Its got loads of awesome music on it, including that song from my second album that leaked, along with dope stuff from The Indelicates (who we're playing with tonight in Cambridge, be there or be a goober), Prince, Pydos In Spydos, Warren Zevon, and MORE!


So, while we were Not Working, I continued to blog. A whole bunch of stuff happened.

Girls Aloud dissed indie!

I Am Not Dead (Yeah!) leaked!

Metamorphosis was dope!

Thieving Ts came back in!

It snowed!


Metamorphosis, LyricToday has a Lynchian, contrast-up, bleached feeling to it, wouldn't you say? I would. I do. Perhaps its because I stayed up too late and got up too early. I was dragging material off of my laptop until gone 4, and up at 9 or so to greet my mother and her boyfriend who came down to visit, the latter of whom was gamely up for trying to fix the belagured device. The laptop seems to be dying, slowly. It can't play audio without stuttering and fizzing like a robot being flushed down a toilet. This is bad news for me, who has gigs to do. While the new shows will be a lot more live music based, I'm still relying on the chipset slab for beats. And I DJ exclusively with a laptop these days (drummers, get in touch!). That way I can choose from a billion records, add a myriad of sound effects ("BOOM! POW! HEEEEEEERE I AM TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAY!") and - wi-fi allowing - grab any new sounds that pop into my head at the time.

Well, not now, unless there is a minor miracle of some sort. I might have to start burning CDs again. Next thing we know I shall be dressing in sack cloth, bathing in puddles, cleaning my teeth wig twigs and getting around London on a donkey.

Anyway. My mother, who is an excellent, small, and cultured woman, took me, The Svenhunting younger brother and the boyfriend to see a play at the Lyric Theater in Hammersmith. Being penniless uncultured scum I haven't been to the theater in over a year, so this was something of a treat. We saw a performance of Kafka's Metamorphosis, which pretty fucking dope, if bleak. I was unacquainted with the story (uncultured slob issues rear head repeatedly), and my literally thinking brain was confused by some of the quite elaborate stage set, so my experience differed from much of the audience, but it was great anyway, and I recommend it, for the fine acting, aforementioned elaborate and beautiful set, stunning athleticism, Spider-Man references, and its cruel, black comedy. Check ye the super informative resource site here. Thanks Mum!

OK. We are playing Cambridge on Monday, in case you hadn't noticed, with the excellent Indelicates, whose (who's? I get these wrong always! Do you know i spelled "if" with two Fs for 15 years?) album is tying with Warren Zevon's Genius for prominence on my speakers at the moment. More on that tomorrow, time allowing.