Suddenly, I Need Shoes!

Me showing Max the buttons. Photo by hughepaul. More here

Good morning gang! Today is a good day, since we all woke up, and for that we must be thankful. Praise Tarim!

Indeed, my throat is sore and my head is fuzzy, but this is what happens when you play strange, chaotic, unrehearsed Ballsacks To The Digital Economy Bill shows in Camden, which is what I did last night. Big up everyone that came down and witnessed the fitness, big up my DJ for the night Max Akira de Wardener, Son Of Zen Pyramid, who is 14 and had NEVER TOUCHED A PAIR OF CDJs before in his LIFE and flipping TORE IT DOWN like a TRUE G, and big up The Indelicates, who came onstage and played a gang of songs with me without ever having done it before. Pretty awesome. SKILLED MUSICIANS! Yes indeed. We did a number of things that have never been done live before, like Security, which was ace with Julia's Piano, and Steven Wells (He Was The Greatest). Last time I was in The Monarch it was for his Life Celebration Party, so it was only right.

Also big up Dan Bull, who did his first ever show last night - I pressed play on the CDJs for him and chopped in little bits of Price songs without warning - and Lilly Ray. I'd never heard Lilly before, and she had some great songs. I need to investigate her further. Thank you Author Girl too, for holding down the merch stand and loaning me those headphones made out of tiny Easter chicks. Amazing.

Also, I THINK the livestream worked. I was running around too much to be able to check in, but as far as I could tell it was streaming anyway. How was it for you out in internetsville?

Littles was supposed to come, you know. Lucky I suspected him to FAIL and never announced him. He rang me just now to inform me that he was knackered after playing paintball for a Channel U, sorry, Channel AKA show all day. "It was nuts fam," he said, as excited as one can sound when evidently Very Tired. "They was sneaking about behind trucks but I got Ghetts and Scorcher good. We lost though fam. I only got shot in the leg, but Narstie got shot in the head."

I was also amazed to learn that they theme paintball these days. The theme? Afghanistan. WOW.

Rah though, right now I have to run to Oxfam or something and find some SHOES, as I am going to The Ritz to celebrate my girlfriend's Mother's 60th birthday, and they don't let you in without shoes. SHOES, not trainers. Can you believe I have no shoes? Amazing. I have some cowboy boots, but the heels are all worn away, diagonal, and they make me walk like an inverse-John Wayne. I also need to find a tie. What's this Ritz like anyway? The only Ritz I have any familiarity with one puts cheese on. Damn, I used to love those things. I could eat a whole box in under an hour.

Ah, memories.

PS - Anyone got a photo/image from last night with which to illustrate this post?

Death To Emo Wingebags!

squee No, not you Joe Budden, I mean ME! Sweet cricketing Jesus, what a whiny misery guts I was yesterday. "Oh woe is me, my computers suffered fates similar to death because I was not vigilant, I haven't got any money, boo hoo hoo." SHUT YOUR WHINY MOUTH BOY!

Um, OK me. I did.

Shout out Zen Pyramid who sent me some anti-virus software! I have yet to fix the laptop and drawy-PC, but it found some ugly little blighters in my main machine, so I am eternally grateful.

Anyway. I did two great things already today.

Thing 1: I trimmed my moustache. It had gotten a bit long and straggly, and it is lovely now. I NEARLY shaved the whole thing off, in my typically destructive fashion, but I am glad I didn't. Just so's you know. Treat moustache like plant. FTW.

Thing 2: Rehearsed with Gonzales for tonight's show.


Are you coming? We'll be thinking of you, if not. Thinking with our Muscial Powers.

So, yeah. In other news, The Line Of Best Fit are today running an interview the man Ash did with me earlier this year. Check it out here. Sample Q + A:

What’s the beef, chicken and lamb with TV?

Fuck a TV.

Ah! Wisdoms!

WATCH: Akira The Don - 210 Songs In 10 Minutes, The Video

STREAM: Akira The Don On XFM's The Remix (Radio Rip) (The actual mix is 4 minutes in if you can't be arsed to listen to me and Eddy talking)

I swear, there is something wrong with me. There was no need for me to make a video for my record-breaking 210 songs in 10 minutes feat of awesome, but I did it anyway. It took me two days when I should have been doing an infinite number of other things, but sweet lord, it is dope. That's what part of the inside of my brain looks, and sounds like.

I hope you like it!

For the record, not EVERY song included in the mix  is represented visually, but most of them are. Check back here in the next day or so for a full list of the songs featured, and a download.


And The Winner Is...

crew So, I just got Directing Michael and Set Dressing Tim on the phone to decide the winner of the caption contest. I actually filmed the whole exchange, and was gonna make a neat little video with Michael and Tim's heads in boxes like they do on the telly, but the battery ran out in my Zi6, so that was  bit of a waste of time.

Still, they DID pick a winner! And that winner is...


silentbob69, for

Zombie Bollockaust


Congratulations Mr Bob!

Very funny indeed! Zombie Bollockaust FTW!


You have a choice of prize - it's either this blood stained chopping board:

Or one of these super-soakers that Set Dressing Tim modded for us to merk zombies with.



Shout outs to everybody who enetered - the standard was predictably high, an the judges had great difficulty isolating the winner. A special no prize goes to Raydome for calling Tim's car a Golf. TIM WAS NOT AMUSED! But the rest of us were. So there you go.

Look out for another zombie competition soon, along with the first trailer for what will surely be, THE GREATEST ZOMBIE FLICK OF ALL TIME!

Zombie Bollockaust