I, Dynomatica

pekar OK, what was that? Oh, yeah! Yes, you are RIGHT, I DO need to be updating this EVERY DAY like I said I would in January! You're RIGHT! And I know, the site IS broken in that you can't navigate past the first page with the next page button and has been that way for ages and that is really ANNOYING and UNFAIR!

You see, those two things are, unfortunately enough, LINKED... because the problem I have right now is that if I post something on the main blog every day, in a week its off the frontpage, and therefore pretty much gone. And some stuff you want to hang around a bit, cos it's cool. That's why I created the Blob Blog in the first place - so I could post all those songs and videos and articles without wiping out my own lovingly crafted Premium Content out of existence. Of course, what has happened is that my main blog posts dont have too many links and things in them. And I bet there's a whole bunch of you that haven't even noticed the Blob Blog!

Well, all this was supposed to have been resolved about a year ago by akirathedon 5.0, but little Zef is taking his sweet ass time with that and we are all suffering as a result. I mean, you're RIGHT, dear reader, is supposed to be the BEST ARTISTS' WEBSITE IN THE WORLD... and it certainly is a damn site better than pretty much every artists' site I can think of right now... but it certainly is NOT anywhere close to what it should be, and frankly, I am embarrassed by it (almost as much as the photos of me that pop up when you google image search me. How does one "fix" those rotten results?!).

Still, I have just upped the accapella, instrumental and clean versions of Nah Nah Nah ft. Gonzales. It's not like I'm sat on my ass watching The Daily Show or anything (RIP NinjaVideo, we pray for a resurrection). I stay busy like ants, baby. Indeed I do. But I do think that Nazi discipline needs to get reinstated. I need to finish that comic strip and get back into regular cartoonism. I need to be dropping something WORTHWHILE on this mainblog every day. I need to be getting the Doncast up as soon as its finished. I need to answer email quicker. I need to get my Twitter game back up.

Anything else? Do let me know where you think I'm slipping. I don't mind. You can be harsh.

Anyway. The gym is going well, thank you. That it forces me to cycle for over an hour most days makes it worthwhile, and I like hanging out with Jeres on the Jesus Machines and watching the Polish dudes going mental on the barbells. Speaking of which, Jeres and I had a wee rehearsal on Sunday for this gig we're doing on Friday, which was pretty sweet. We're having another few before the gig, as we wish to be Competent, and Well Rehearsed, and Tight, like a dickinthebutt (word to Nicki Minaj), which sounds like an archaic children's toy or something now I come to think of it. Dickinabutt that is. I can hear the theme song and everything. "Dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt, dickinabutt!" Damn, what a joy to say that word is! Dickinabut! Whoo!

Hmm. I was supposed to be doing more Writing round these parts, wasn't I? Never mind. Check back tomorrow and we'll see what we can do. In the meantime, wrap your eyeballs around this video I did for Si Cranstoun's Dynamo, which is Out Soon. I'll drop the remix I did tomorrow. OK? Yeah? really? Aw, shucks, you guys.

Ole Tattoos

zilla NEW WEEK! GO!

Some of us are still recovering from Saturday night, right? I say us because I am inclusive, but I'm OK. I was stuck behind the decks for 4 and a half hours while e'rbody else was chugging it like there was a drought on. I see you directing Michael, getting in a barney with King Zombie!

Dogstar was mega fun though, thanks to everybody that came down. It was exciting to see our lil' movie on a big screen, at 11pm on Halloween in a room full of mashups, and it was awesome playing Baggy Trousers right afterwards. Great to meet some of you people I know from the comments section here too.


So, the next outing? Me and the my awesome band are gonna be playing a FULL LIVE GIG at our Christmas party in London. We've hied a boat. That's right.


Shit is gonna be beautiful and we're gonna party so hard it might sink.

Put December 4th in your diary. More soon.

So, those evil Fox dudes are marking the show's 20th anniversary (damn that makes me feel vintage!) by running a competition to design a new Simpsons character. If I didn't have enough tasks for an army of Don Clones to complete to, um, complete, I'd so win that. I used to spend a lot of time drawing Simpsons. Hence my tattoo. That tattoo is celebrating its 13th anniversary about now. I remember the guy's face when I showed him the design. He was all like, "are you sure?" And I was like, "yeah!" And he was like, "and are you sure you're 18?" And I was like, "oh, yes, definitely," cos I was a bloody good liar in those days. I can't lie for the life of me anymore. My whole face is one big Tell. I no longer have the brain cells required to carry out the operation. I killed them all with cheap ecstasy tablets between '99 and 2001. Learn from my mistakes, little ones! I wish I still had all those brain cells. Some of them were involved in handling my short term memory. Damn, I miss those lil' dudes.

Still, my long term memory seems to be getting a little better with age. It just came back to me, for instance, that I sold my Homer Simpson/BCFC tattoo design to a fellow I worked with at the world famous  Thomas Morale Sauce Factory in Redditch for 40 bar. That dude was already old even then, so that means there's two of us wandering the earth with the same weird tattoo, and one of them is wrinkly.

Speaking of old times, Adam Walton asked me to pick four songs that were instrumental in my evolution as a music making person and talk about them on his BBC Radio Wales show last night. You  might be surprised at some of my choices. Or not. Listen back here, anyway.

Oh, and I saw Up yersterday. I blubbed for most of it. Absolutely wonderful movie, I cannot reccomend it highly enough.

Righteous Hyperbole

T Shirt!It's The T!

Damn, the amount of websites around these days that straight copy paste press releases is crazy! Everybody thinks they're the BBC or something. Ho ho. Anyway. Wanna see mine?

Akira The Don "I Am Not Dead (Yeah!)" EP Mini-Movie Party - October 31st 2009

London. Autumn, 2009. The music industry lies in ruins. Dead-eyed zombies lurch and drool where once stood pop stars we loved and admired. The airwaves are dominated by the reanimated howls of soulless rotting husks: dead music for a dead culture.

But one man is ready to change all this. One living, breathing, bona fide pop star has come to say "enough is enough"; Akira The Don is not dead.

To celebrate, we bring you the "I Am Not Dead (Yeah!) EP", his first official release for two years: and it's out this Halloween.

The EP showcases five brand new ATD tracks, including "I Am Not Dead (Yeah!)", taken from Akira's forthcoming album, The Life Equation: co-produced by Stephen Hague (Pet Shop Boys, New Order, Robbie Williams) and featuring Gruff Rhys (SFA, Neon Neon) on backing vocals.

The EP is accompanied by a zombie apocalypse mini-movie music video that has been a year in the making, had no budget, and stars a whole host of friends, enemies, collaborators, extras and passers by.

Yeah. That's me. Shout out my lil' brother TheSvenhunter on the righteous hyperbole. Get at my homegirl Giovanna at Sure Shot PR with all your press enquiries. I'm rendering that video today. Trying to work out how to get those wavey lines out of the thing. Joey and James are round tonight. We're rehearsing this awesome new ish and laying some interludes for the EP. The EP is pretty high concept. Don't worry about it going over your head. Worry about it taking your head off.


Hey, the main figga Gonz got a new website. Check it out here. And don't forget, I will be his special guest at The Pagalle, London, on November 11th. Get your tickets here.

Oh, and 'fore I forget, that up there's the new T-Shirt design. Art by me, logo by Zef. It's a family affair. These are gonna be on FRIDAY, no lie! Big up my Mum for sorting that out. Sadly no tripple XL this time - the quality on those sizes was "promotional". Never mind that ish. We want GOOD QUALITY, cos you deserve it. So we'll keep looking. In the meanwhile, if you're S - XXL, get your now!


ATD, October 2009


Photo by Charlotte Whewell

Next: Chilly Gonzales VS Akira The Don

When you've beaten Andrew W.K. in a piano battle, what's next?

If you're Chilly Gonzales, you go for The Top. You aim HIGH. You take on The New King Of Awesome.

You tussle with Akira The Don.

Yessir. As you can see in the video above, Gonzo is coming to London to play a series of special "piano talk shows", and will be trying to sell tickets making the show iller by inviting Special Guests to joint him onstage.

The Gonzales Piano Talk Show will happen every Wednesday in November at La Pigalle cabaret. Guests will include my homegirl The Cock & Bull Kid, Gonzo's old enemy Jarvis Cocker (I'll tell that story again one day), and The New King Of Awesome: Me.

Adam As Actist, And A Tale Of Woe

AAA Nice Trainspotty poster, huh? That up there is the thing wot I have been learning lines for. It is a very funny TV pilot about the horrors of the Real Life Music Industry, called Access All Areas. It is wonderfully observed - I recognise every character in it. I now know all my lines, but shall likely fudge at least one, as apparenty Mercury is doing something weird and making the lives of people who's birthdays lie on the fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth very difficult.

Take this New York trip. So, I did something wonderful for the galaxy, and set up a piano battle between Chilly "Fuckeye" Gonzales and Andrew "Don't Call Me Andy" W.K.. I wished that I could go, but I didn't even have enough money to pay my rent, so I had no idea how it could happen. Then Gonzales sent me an email:

I'm getting you a flight. I woke up this morning like "Akira must be there:.

I was right. You have to be there.

And oh, I did leap for joy! Oh, how happy was I! How grateful! How excited! And in my excitement, I didn't notice when the outbound flight was booked for Thursday afternoon that I already had a commitment  - indeed, the above pilot, no less - on Thursday evening.

Oh, how sick did I feel when I realised that (on Sunday afternoon, just as we wrapped filming the iANDY Zombie Film, natch). The bottom fell out of my belly. For Air Kenya (YES!) would not, and could not rearrange the flights. What was I to do?

I gnashed my teeth, I punched my door, and I searched my heart.

Then I phoned my bank, and begged for a loan.

Yeah! I know!

And they gave me one!

Which was lucky, as I also needed a new passport, since mine had been in the washing machine (and I remembered Music Like Dirt's tale of woe from SXSW), and do you know how much it costs to get a passport these days? £130. Yeah!

So I bought a new passport, and another flight to New York.

I was excited again.

Then, yesterday, I was hit with another of The Great Skygod's custard pies.

I discovered (thanks to the wisdom of my great friend BJ) that, as I won't be on the original outbound Thursday flight, I will not be allowed on the return flight.

Serious! They do that!

Oh, I was outraged on the phone. Oh, I pleaded.

"No exceptions."

Something inside, so strong, nearly died.

I had two options - let down all the lovely people involved in AAA, or buy a new flight, and flirt with eviction.

What did the man say?

Never Let Down.

So I bought another flight, back to the UK.


I am hilarious.

I am inept.

And I am in a Great Debt.

But I am going to New York.

I will be there from Friday to Sunday.

IT'S GONNA BE SO WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh, and if anyone wants to book me for something while I'm out there, get in touch.