My pal Wade turned up in the bloody Sun, of all places, today, accused of being a former hooker and dating onetime Donette Margo Stilley. Wow. Check it:

THIS is surley (sic) got to be one of the most sexually-charged couples around.

MARGOT (sic) STILLEY - who shot to fame after starring in explicit sex scenes in 9 Songs - has confirmed (sic) she is dating an ex male HOOKER (sic).

The actress arrived arm-in-arm with WADE CRESCENT - a former (sic) member of Stunners International - at the launch of Visa Swap at The Piazza in Covent Garden last night.

The pair previously dated in 2005 (sic), however they looked more in love than ever before as they struggled to keep their hands off each other at the new clothes swapping event (sic).

Wade has given up working as an escort (sic) and last night made a guest appearance at The Cuckoo Club as a DJ.

An source said: “Margot (sic) is so pleased Wade has moved on from his days as an escort (sic).

“She looked like the cat who got the cream, smiling and loitering around the DJ booth as Wade spun tunes.

“She was overheard telling pals she’s the happiest she’s ever been.”

Amazingly enough, pretty much everything in this article is A BIG FAT LIE! As you can tell from all my red (sic)s. Wade is unavailable for comment, as he’s on a plane to Miami, hence my defence. IT IS ALL LIES! READ NOT SUCH TRASH! EVER! LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

Damn!

Margo singing with me and BJ Deacon at the first London ATD show at Islington Accademy in 2005.