My friend and yours, Miss Mary Turner has asked me to ask YOU for help in deciding what song to sing at her Pop Idol-styled audition this weekend.

The audition is for “a pop project”. Mary has to sing a song acapella.

Tag line, says Mary: “Cool, Sassy, Poppy”.

“It can’t be Girls Aloud or anything, singing a capella so need a song with a melody, not one where when production and harmonies are taken away it’s dull, could be a fast tune slowed down ie ‘Hey Ya’ Outkast. Preferably a fairly familiar tune yet original ie Leonard Cohen ‘Bird on the Wire’ [sic] and needs to have some range but not too much as with nerves don’t want to be fretting about high notes. Audition on Sat so got to be easy to learn if i don’t already know it. Thinking there must be some good forgotten Britpop tunes, not ‘Something Chnaged’ as already sung that.” Read more…

OK you! I am doing that podcast today. I am a lot more ill. So it will be the Ill Edition. Any suggestions for Ill Songs welcome. Also! If you want a shoutout I shall shout you out. I am feeling shoutoutey. Hit me on the comments or the email.

PAX!

PS - things to read:

Bol on Common

The New Yorker on the detah of Print.

Ioz on kids.

Neon Neon and The Magic Numbers team up in London
Gruff Rhys and Boom Bip invite indie stars on stage
Mar 21, 2008

Neon Neon were joined by Romeo Stoddart and Angela Gannon of The Magic Numbers last night (March 20) for their live performance in Room Two of the Fabric nightclub in London.

The band played songs from their new album ’Stainless Style’, including ’I Lust U’ and ’Belfast’, with the aforementioned members of The Magic Numbers providing vocals for set closer ’Stainless Style’.

Cheers for having me Neon Neon! It was very random, and I had a lovely time. The Magic Numbers people were very nice too.

So! I have the Gonzales album now. A very nice man who I shall not name just in case sent it me. I asked him where he got it.

“Strange one that,” he wrote. “at work today I found a small cuddly toy (a sheep called Thomas) with a blue cdr taped to him. The disc had Gonzales - SP written on it. I asked about the office but nobody new anything about it so I checked the contents of the disk and thought “I know a man who will want this”. I burned a copy and stuck the cdr back on the mysterious Thomas and left him as I found him.”

Pretty awesome non? Anyway. I am fucking loving this record! If he wasn’t going to make another rap album, this was the album I wanted him to make. Its got sax solos! It is lush!

GIG! GIG! GIG!

Look down there on the left. I am playing a gig. It is a nice wee gig in a pub in Cambridge supporting The Indelicates on April 7th. The promoter hit me up the day after I announced to the world I liked them via my podcast. I thought, shit, why not? I haven’t played for a while. I have all these new songs I need to try out.

Another guy hit me up about doing a show in Leeds, around then. People have been asking me to play Leeds for ages. PLAY LEEDS BUMHOLE, they say. So I will. And I figure it might be a good idea to do a bunch of gigs around then - between the 4th and the 14th of April, maybe.

So! If you’d like me to come to your town, have a word with the local club, pub, disco, studentunion, whatever, and get them to holla at me. I am easy to find. I am right here, all the time.

So! Video. Damn, a lot of you wanna be in the Giro video!

Good for youse. How handsome and pretty you are! You’re gonna look great after Zef has chopped you up and stuck you behind Akon or whoever. Heh.

OK. so. My beloved Technics DZ 1200 broke. I don’t know how. Nothing fell on it. No one hit it with a brick. I just woke up one day, switched it on, and it didn’t work. The platter span, and the digital display shone blue, and empty of readout. My Bright Eyes CD stayed stuck inside. And that’s it. I have searched the internets, I have asked on messageboards, but no avail. Any of you clever boffins have a clue what the problem might be?

So. Linkage (soon, he promises, Zef’s gonna hook up a mini-blog on the right hand side so I can post crap like this without disrupting the flow of the main site. Then we can get back to thoughtful, insightful political commentary and shit. Whoo!).

That Biggie doll is ill, no? And only $30! Its my birthday soon you know!

Bol on paying for sex: ROFLCOPTER this dude hates ladies! The comments are even more ridonculously gut busting.

That Celemony thing looks sick.

26 million have watched this amateur footage of a bunch of animals going to war over a baby animal, but I hadn’t till yesterday. Shit is bananas!

Them crazy Yankees are looking into putting Venezuela on their list of Terrorist States, since their attempted coup didn’t work out as planned. Wastemen!

OK! Don Studios IV is set up, the internet is working, and THIEVING IS OUT NOW ON CD, MP3 and T Shirt!

Preorderers will (mostly, stupid Canadian post) know this already. They all agree it is great! How great? Just listen to this song called
GIRO!

Ace huh? Yes indeed. Zef and I are making a video for that. ANYWAY! Thieving has 21 songs on it, and they’re all GRAYTE. Either brand new, or new versions of older songs, the tracklisting goes a little suttink like this:

1. Thieving
2. Click Clack Blam ft. Pixel
3. Thanks For All The AIDS ft. The Women
4. BOOM! (Remix) ft. Lethal Bizzle & Narstie
5. Werewolves!
6. Back In The Day (Remix) ft. Jack Nimble, Narstie, Marvin & Shizzio
7. The Music Of The Spheres ft. Mary Turner
8. Can’t Go To Sleep
9. Dear Baby (Cut You In The Face)
10. Oobie Doo ft. Mary Turner & Marvin
11. Unlearning
12. Jesus!
13. Gitmo ft. Narstie
14. Giro
15. Riot Going On ft Dego Brown
16. Now Then
17. Tomorrow ft Madison
18. The Tree
19. Oh! (What A Glorious Thing) ft Bashy
20. To The Tongue Tied ft Mary Turner
21. Y R U So Layzee

Laffs! Sobs! Special guest stars aplenty! Yes indeed. You can get it on luxury 4 page booklet full colour doolah CD for £5 plus postage, or on CD Quality 320kbps MP3 for £4.75, no postage.

MP3 bundle comes with printable artwork and a bonus track called MOVING! Whoo!

You can a T shirt for £15 plus postage. OR a CD and a T shirt for £17 plus postage (wow, DISCOUNT!) or an MP3 and T shirt for £16.50 plus postage (EVEN MORE WOW DISCOUNT!)

We take all major credit and debit cards, via Paypal which does not require a Paypal account and we ship WORLDWIDE! (Even Canada, although their postal system is a little slow)

MAKE YOUR CHOICE!

CD - £5

MP3 - £4.75

CD & T - £17 - Comes In Mens and Womens Sizes

Size	Man SMan MMan LMan XLMan XXLGirl SGirl MGirl LGirl XL

MP3 & T - £16.50 - Comes In Mens and Womens Sizes

Size	Man SMan MMan LMan XLMan XXLGirl SGirl MGirl LGirl XL

Just A T - £15 - Comes In Mens and Womens Sizes

Size	Man SMan MMan LMan XLMan XXLGirl SGirl MGirl LGirl XL

Hurry Up Scientists
and invent a cure
for the common cold
because I feel like
a dog log dipped
in broken glass

A HAW!

That up there is a nice little poem by my boy Ben Myers, who has a nice blog that I have just been reading while songs render. Ben’s off on a nice holiday to Wales this weekend. He’s staying ina fuckin’ GYPSY WAGON! How awesome is that?!

I got up at 8:30 today you know. Jeres was already up. Downstairs smelled like pubs used to - he’d been at it all night. By “it” mean drinking booze with a charming gobby female Midlander. He is still doing it now! All day he has been doing it - Andy “Bardot” Barding joined in a few hours ago, and they are all sat in Jeres’ pit, smoking tabs and drinking whiskey and cokes. Jeres is trying on his Freddie Mercury outfit for the Glam Rock party our friend Girly Gary is throwing this weekend. Jeres has acquired one of those skinny white tops with the red zigzag on it. Charming Gobby Midlander says Jeres has bitch tits. Jeres says drunk people will think they are muscle. He is probably right.

Bully for them! I have been up here all day finishing off Thieving. Which is now finished. At the last minute I decided two of the songs weren’t good enough, so I scrapped one, recorded a new one, and re-recorded another. It all sounds lovely now. I am going to cycle to Camden and drop off the master with the pressing people in a minute, one the last take has rendered. Oh the excitement!

Those of you on my mailing list will have just been sent the tracklisting too. Lawks!

Anyone seen my Wacom pen? I’m a have to do all this drawing in pencil or some shit otherwise. Maybe I’ll go out and buy some pens. With all my magic beans. A haaaaaaaw!

I’m on my second day without fags. Here we go again! I got a good feeling this time. Who wants to ming of fags in the spring anyway?

So, as soon as Zef sorts out the new MP3 player, there’ll be a new preview track from Thieving. The T shirts went off to the printers on Friday, the CD goes off tomorrow. URK! I gotta mix, like 6 songs, and Zef’s gotta do the back of the thing, and we’re done. Whoo!

News bits:

Rappers Back Obama (Apart From 50)

Pimp C Died Of Cough Syrup Overdose/

Uncle Murda For Glasto?

Clipse Diss Wayne, Threaten To Kill Baby

Willie Nelson: Towers Imploded

And so on!

Akira The Don Thieving Ts are now available in womens, which are fitted, and kids sizes, for a limited time. Kids sizes are “small:7-8, medium: 9-11, large: 12-13 and the xl are a bit smaller than adult small” according to my T Shirt man.

These go off to the printers tomorrow, and will be with you, with the CD at some point during the week beginning February 11th, depending on post speeds.

T shirt and CD discount combo, still £16.

MENS

Size	Man smallMan mediumMan largeMan XLMan XXLMan XXXL

WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

Women and Kids sizes

Woman smallwoman mediumwoman largewoman XLKid smallKid mediumKid largeKid XL

Mary and Jeres were up here earlier working on new versions of Oobie Doo and AIDS, and two brand new songs for Thieving. They all sound AWESOME!

My girl was just going through photos to get printed, and happened upon this classic.

Littles, DeBurgh, Narstie!

Narstie’s round this week to do some last minute stuff for Thieving… we’re remastering a few songs, and redoing a few. Gonna get the whole thing wrapped by Friday, when its off to the pressing plant.

Hold tight Littles, we’ll see you soon bro.

Solefald are some Norwegian Death Metal band my little brother likes. They’ve got a new remix LP out called The Circular Drain which kicks ass. Check the Bombs Of Enduring Freedom mix of Survival Of The Outlaw, it’s badass…

Ali also recommends The Indelicates. Check New Art For The People. It has very good piano. It is almost a soft rock classic, but it is too indie. It is so indie! It is always weird to hear indie folks on the subject of sex. Apart from when its Hefner. Or Pulp. Or Arab Strap. OK, maybe its not that weird. But still. Anyway. I like this band. They sound like The Auteurs covering Carter USM songs. With a lo-fi Jim Steinman on production. Or something.

Also! Marvin has done a version of Lupe’s Superstar. Tego is singing on it! It’s nuts! Have I said how much I enjoy Lupe’s album? I really so. I didn’t think I would. It is a great record. He is a great rapper.

That is all.

Edit: Glasvegas are great, I forgot. 80s sounding big production Scottish melodic, 60s girl group sounding, prolly you all know this anyway.